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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To loathe and despise hosting "playdates"??

228 replies

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 22/10/2011 12:38

I hate it. I hate the term "Playdate" but it's what everyone calls it now...I hate that my ordinarily well behaved DD (7) turns into a monster....I hate the squashed food I find in corners of the house afterwards...I hate the hysteical sqeualing and the way my 3 year old tries to join in (even though they naturally dont want her)

I hate the way I can't relax....I'm always wondering what they're up to....are they in my makeup? trashing the bedrom?

I am sitting here thinking about whether AIBU to never have another until they're old enough to mooch miserably in their bedrooms and only grunt when I speak to them.

OP posts:
GeneralCustardsHardHat · 22/10/2011 12:40

Turf them into the garden if the weather is as good as it is here!

peggotty · 22/10/2011 12:42

Yeah they're not much fun for the hosting mum are they. There's one girl who we occasionally have who keeps going into my bedroom and laughing at my pants etc which are drying on the clotheshorse etc Shock. I think you need to have some rooms as out of bounds and set some ground rules before you let them in the house. There's absolutely nothing wrong with saying ' stay out of my room/make up etc or little Griselda will be going straight home'.

Original poster
MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 22/10/2011 12:43

I just did as a matter of fact custard! I am still always anxious though for some reason....I imagine they're going to injure themselves or one another!

I can''t relax and leave them to it somehow...Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 22/10/2011 12:45

I warned dd about not oing in our bedroom peggotty but whaddaya know! Ten minutes ago they did and I had to come over the strict mum which I hate...but I told DD off as she KNEW it was out f bounds. I can't bear other people where I sleep etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 22/10/2011 12:46

Grin @ "Little Griselda"

OP posts:
GeneralCustardsHardHat · 22/10/2011 12:46

You have my sympathies. It's one of the virtues of working full time - never have to host a 'playdate' saying that I prefer them at this age than at baby age. It's the mums i can't stand!

Original poster
MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 22/10/2011 12:46

But AIBU to not really "do" them? I can't abide it anymore.

OP posts:
MeMySonAndI · 22/10/2011 12:47

I used to hate them too. I hated having the house trashed after I had spent the week trying to organise it. I hated the kids jumping on and damaging expensive furniture, I hated finding wall paper smudged with food and see DS upset at the broken toys. I hated the hysterical squealing and then end up with a child or another being upset at some point...

... then I stopped inviting that kid and the problem was over. Now I actually enjoy them.

GeneralCustardsHardHat · 22/10/2011 12:48

YANBU to my mind! If they can't play outside then they don't come inside. It's a rule i learned from my mum :o

peggotty · 22/10/2011 12:52

You could just stop doing them. But unfortunately your dd would probably stop being invited to her friends houses as they do tend to be reciprocal (although they shouldn't really be). If your dd isn't fussed about it, just stop.

recall · 22/10/2011 13:13

One of my DD - 4's classmates' Mum has invited her DD to ours during half term. Her Dad will be bringing her. I am dreading it. They are not together, he is an older bloke in the village who she had a one night stand with. So I have to spend one of my precious mornings next week with an old bloke sat in my house while the girls play. I hate things like that - false smiles all round.

Rhubarbgarden · 22/10/2011 13:20

Recall you have my sympathy. That is beyond the call of duty.

Rhubarbgarden · 22/10/2011 13:21

Yanbu. Be strict and mean to the kids so they don't want to come any more.

Original poster
MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 22/10/2011 14:19

Oh lordy....does he HAVE to stay recall? I suggest you say "Lets all go to the park!" and that will be better.

They're ok now...calmed down after an hour of silliness...I'm just thnking thogh....my Mum never et me have mates around...not till I was a teenager...I never suffered!

OP posts:
troisgarcons · 22/10/2011 14:24

Oh I hate them.

Son has nice friend, with a little brother with ADHD who always tags along and totally trashes my house.

PlumSykes · 22/10/2011 14:29

DD has a friend here. I've just painted their nails, put Matilda on, and told them to stay VERY STILL until it dries. Fortunately they are being good, and also quiet, although come teatime I will be having a fit, as guest doesn't eat pasta, potatoes or anything wet. Dry bread and cheddar followed by nuts it is, then.

PlumSykes · 22/10/2011 14:29

Am not looking forward to DS being old enough for them. May home-school in order to avoid.

Sparklingbrook · 22/10/2011 14:30

I hate the house trashing too. Plus the standing on the furniture and the constant running up and down the stairs. It's usually the first hour that's the worst I find! The feeling of relief when they all leave is lovely though Grin

PlumSykes · 22/10/2011 14:34

Also, and this is not the little girl's fault at all, but her Dad dropped her off at 1.30, and she hadn't had lunch (at 1.30? She's 5, and had def. been up since 6am), so I had to rummage in cupboard for non-wet snack options that don't conflict with the non-wet tea I have on offer.

thefirstMrsDeVeerie · 22/10/2011 14:39

I dont do them.
DD was fine
DS1 was a nightmare, totally over excited and wouldnt stick to one thing. As soon as he started playing he would think of something else he wanted to do and spend the whole time doing nothing.
DS2 - as DS1 but x 100.

I am not sure about the other two. Time will tell.

I am good mother in other ways.

suburbandream · 22/10/2011 14:45

I'm beginning to loathe them too, and only do them to return the favour once the DCs have been invited to someone else's. Granted, I am very old, but in the '70s Dsis and I didn't seem to have playdates and we turned out ok - I hope Grin

MULLYPEEP · 22/10/2011 14:47

YANBU. I put locks on 2 rooms purely for this purpose to minimise damage. Also hide the PITA toys that get chucked everywhere. Always always make pizza if they are staying for food and check with parents beforehand they will eat that now. How that for some control freakery.

wicketkeeper · 22/10/2011 15:05

Erm. Call me old fashioned, but does no-one use the word 'No!' anymore? You hate them climbing on the expensive furniture?? Tell them not to. You don't want them to trash the house?? Tell them not to. You don't want them to trample food into your carpet - well, you know what to do.

Your house, your rules. Make sure that there are things that they can do, but insist on them behaving themselves. Why shouldn't they? And if they don't, send them home. I always expected the same standard of behaviour from visiting children as I expected from my own - my kids weren't allowed to trash the place, so sure as heck no-one else's kids were going to be allowed to do it.

PlumSykes · 22/10/2011 17:07

I agree, wicket, but I think a lot of people are uncomfortable about being firm with other people's children. Some of my DD's friends are a bit wary of me, because I am strict about basic things like holding hands if we're walking down the rd, but I'd rather that than they were run over (in most cases).

usualsuspect · 22/10/2011 17:11

At 7 mine played really well when their friends came round

They had friends round all the time

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