I don't think this topic is remotely taboo. If it was, then there would be fewer emotive "day orphanages" type posts.
I would absolutely welcome full and frank discussion of the pros and cons of different childcare options and providers. The problem is that this rarely happens as certain people know that it is an emotive topic for those approaching this decision for the first time, and they know that the quickest way to derail a thread is to post a one-line, think-of-the-poor-babbies type comment and then step back and watch the fun.
I don't think all nurseries are good. I think some are probably terrible.
I don't think all children will thrive in nursery.
I don't think all children need to be in nursery.
I do think that many nurseries are good or excellent.
I do think that many children will thrive in nursery.
I do think that some children may actively benefit from being in nursery.
I have to say that I find it hard to believe that the majority of parents have absolutely no idea if their child is receiving sub-standard care. There have been many posts on MN where someone says "AIBU about this nursery issue? Oh and by the way I have been unhappy with x issue, y issue and z issue for some time now." If alarm bells are ringing about a nursery then the parent has a duty to follow up on their concerns - if they fail to do so then they are effectively colluding in the sub-standard care of their child. That is very sad, but should not be used as a stick to beat those parents who have taken every precaution in choosing the best possible environment for their child. I am not saying that poor care will ALWAYS be obvious, but I don't for one minute believe that the majority of nurseries are devious, abuse-hiding establishments populated by children with entirely unsuspecting parents.
As I mentioned earlier, our nursery has parents arriving at all sorts of random times and they never bat an eyelid. Ever since DS has been there (6 months onwards) my work has meant that I could arrive at any point from lunchtime onwards on any given day. I have never seen anything that has caused me even a heartbeat of concern. What I have seen is DS being cuddled, played with, entertained and engaged, along with every other child there.
Had I ever seen anything that caused me concern I would have addressed it. If it continued then I would have removed him and taken the time to find somewhere better. No doubt some people will fall over themselves to tell me I am deluded and that I am choosing to close my eyes to my child's misery and stress at being dumped in nursery from such a tender age. They can tell me that till they are blue in the face, but quite frankly it won't wash with me since I prefer the evidence of my own eyes and ears to the random, generalised opinion of someone on the internet. And I can't imagine what would make me think DS was unhappy at nursery when he shouts "nursery - yay!" when we arrive, when he witters on incessantly about 3 of his carers in particular, when he runs into nursery and throws himself on one of his little friends or one of his carers and when he runs open-armed towards his key-worker if we bump into her outside nursery.
Sweeping generalisations help no-one to make any sort of rational, balanced decision about childcare. What would help would be a recognition that every child, every family and every childcare provider is different, and that any decision around these issues should be made with every aspect considered on its own merits, not on the basis of "all nurseries are.." or "all childminders are..."