Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Too not move in this cafe.

263 replies

toobreathless · 15/10/2011 20:33

First post in AIBU, just curious to hear what others think.

Had a lovely day wondering around a pretty local town. Time came to feed DD, who was getting a bit noisy. Went into the nearest cafe (there are about six) & sat down at a table to feed DD while DH got in the queue for drinks.

Had DD firmly attached when two ladies approached (in their 50s?). I was sat at a table for two. One said to me 'you will have to move we have already bought our drinks & have nowhere to sit.' Stunned, I looked up & realised this was true. I wasn't the only one 'saving' a table.

I politely suggested the ask the gentleman sat alone at a table of four if they could share. They gave me evil stares & swept off.

I feel a bit mean now. Was I BU?

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 15/10/2011 20:45

No, you needed a table for two if your DH was buying drinks. Why didn't you just tell them that? Or did you?

Original poster
toobreathless · 15/10/2011 20:47

I did: said DH in queue.

They wanted me to move as we hadn't bought our drinks yet & they had.

OP posts:
AllGoodNamesGone · 15/10/2011 20:48

YWNBU as you were feeding your baby. Would have been different if you were sat there on your own. It's possible they didn't realise you were feeding her, but your suggestion of asking to share was perfectly reasonable. Equally they could have shifted someone who didn't have a feeding baby attached to them!

Trills · 15/10/2011 20:50

YANBU to stay put if someone says "You will have to move" and doesn't even ask.

Sirzy · 15/10/2011 20:50

Course you weren't being unreasonable. If there was 2 of them they could easily have done the same.

Whenever I am out if there are enough adults (ie more than just me!) then one of us goes and orders food and the rest of us wait at the table. Not necesserily even to save the table but so we don't all have to queue unnecesserily!

ShellyBoobs · 15/10/2011 20:51

A cafe is a business; having a feeding baby attached to you doesn't afford special treatment.

Get food/drinks, then find a seat.

Pretty straight forward.

thesurgeonsmate · 15/10/2011 20:56

I think in the grand scheme of things, you're OK. I mean, I don't like to advocate queue barging, but on the other hand if other people were saving tables there has to be someone who's going to find it easier to move than the woman with a baby latched on to her breast.

TheSkiingGardener · 15/10/2011 20:57

They were rude, and of course you shouldn't have moved as one of your party was already eating. If you were just taking up a table in an overfull cafe and doing nothing then it would be reasonable to ask you to move

Andrewofgg · 15/10/2011 21:02

God almighty, your gender can be as nasty as mine sometimes!

Technically they were right but what you were doing deserves just the least bit of respect and consideration.

ShellyBoobs · 15/10/2011 21:06

Technically they were right

Indeed they were.

They had bought and paid for their food/drinks and then couldn't sit down due to other people rudely 'reserving' seats.

I would have been very annoyed, as they seemingly were.

Trills · 15/10/2011 21:09

The whole "everyone queue" vs "sit down while one person buys" is a classic AIBU topic.

LoopyLoopsPussInBoots · 15/10/2011 21:09

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

KittyFane · 15/10/2011 21:10

It does annoy me when people save tables and I am left standing after buying drinks but there were 3 of you - your baby was having hers and your DH was buying yours and his.
So, in this case YANBU, did the women think your DD was waiting fir a frappachino or something?! :o

KittyFane · 15/10/2011 21:12

Agree, Shelly does sound a touch annoying. Biscuit

Sevenfoldedbloodybodies · 15/10/2011 21:13

yabu, and sorry I don't see bf as a reason to hog a table, before you ahve got your food

eaglewings · 15/10/2011 21:13

I agree shelly it is frustrating when people save tables before they have got their order

However, as the op states

Her baby was beginning to make a noise and was attached and therefore feeding by the time the couple turned up.

Cut her some slack, babies are not babies for long, let mums enjoy feeding them, it passes so quickly :(

KittyFane · 15/10/2011 21:16

But the baby is a person too, needs food and the food can't be bought in a cafe. OP and her DH were eating/ drinking in the cafe, surely the baby should be able to too?
I hate table hoggers but you weren't U in your situation OP.

KittyFane · 15/10/2011 21:18

In other words, the baby was already eating her food when these women turned up.

mosschops30 · 15/10/2011 21:19

I agree with shelly, just because you are feeding your baby doesnt mean that other people who have purchased their food and drinks should have to stand.

If shed have said 'i was feeding my baby and a disabled lady wanted to use my table because there was more space, but i refused as i was feeding' youd all be going fucking crazy.
Ditto if she was bottle feeding the baby.

But i forgot we're on MN and if you breastfeed in public you are on a par with mother theresa and should be treated accordingly

ShellyBoobs · 15/10/2011 21:20

Shelly, you sound like a nightmare.

Hmm... Not really interested in your opinion of me.

This is an AIBU and I gave my opinion.

Thanks.

fedupofnamechanging · 15/10/2011 21:21

YANBU. One of them ought to have saved a table while the other queued.

More importantly, they should have asked, not demanded.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 15/10/2011 21:22

Agree with Mosschops and Shelley. But if you were a two-adult party then you needed a two-seat table anyway.

Original poster
toobreathless · 15/10/2011 21:23

Yes, the baby was already eating when the ladies turned up.

Was thinking what I would have done if the baby wasn't eating & I would have moved for them, particularly if they had asked a bit more nicely.

Glad not everyone thinks I'm unreasonable.

I seem to attract rather bossy/mean middle aged women. Not sure why, possibly because I look much younger than my 27yrs (not that this is ok!)

OP posts:
ShellyBoobs · 15/10/2011 21:24

YANBU. One of them ought to have saved a table while the other queued.

So what about the people who've already queued without reserving a seat?

When they're served and then left stood there with trays of food/drinks and no seats, what should they do?

Original poster
toobreathless · 15/10/2011 21:28

Mosschops: surely it doesn't matter how the baby is being fed? The baby is still eating.

OP posts: