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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Too not move in this cafe.

263 replies

toobreathless · 15/10/2011 20:33

First post in AIBU, just curious to hear what others think.

Had a lovely day wondering around a pretty local town. Time came to feed DD, who was getting a bit noisy. Went into the nearest cafe (there are about six) & sat down at a table to feed DD while DH got in the queue for drinks.

Had DD firmly attached when two ladies approached (in their 50s?). I was sat at a table for two. One said to me 'you will have to move we have already bought our drinks & have nowhere to sit.' Stunned, I looked up & realised this was true. I wasn't the only one 'saving' a table.

I politely suggested the ask the gentleman sat alone at a table of four if they could share. They gave me evil stares & swept off.

I feel a bit mean now. Was I BU?

OP posts:
NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes · 15/10/2011 22:26

She could appear to be an easier target for a number of reasons.

We can only guess at why they chose to tell her to move while ignoring a man sitting alone at a larger table and all the other people also reserving tables.

But what we do know is that they did tell her and so it's reasonable to assume they decided that she was the person most likely to move when they told her to.

And they did tell her to move, they didn't ask. Which also makes them appear to have seen her as an easy target who would just meekly agree.

Sevenfoldedbloodybodies · 15/10/2011 22:26

am the only one that thinks the bf is a red herring,
someone had payed for their food in a cafe yes paid for it couldn't get a free table because the op who hadn't yet paid for her food was using one, so they asked her too move.
the BF has nothing to do with it imo, unless she was sitting at a special BF table

FanjoForTheMuahahammaries · 15/10/2011 22:27

Not agreeing, I think you'd have to be pretty mean spirited and entitled to ask someone bf to move, if that's just my opinion fair enough, I can live with that

thesurgeonsmate · 15/10/2011 22:28

You might not be, seven but you're probably the only one who thinks there are special BF tables...

FanjoForTheMuahahammaries · 15/10/2011 22:29

X posted btw, sevenfold, my comment wasn't purely directed at you

KittyFane · 15/10/2011 22:30

Sevenfold- I think you'll find babies are welcome to feed in cafes nowadays- whatever 'food' the mother chooses to 'bring' with her.

Sirzy · 15/10/2011 22:30

So it would be less "mean spirited" to ask a mum bottle feeding, or giving a jar to a baby to move?

Sevenfoldedbloodybodies · 15/10/2011 22:31

of course, but surely that isn't what this thread is about, as the op hadn't yet actually made a purchase.
it is really about table que jumping

Original poster
toobreathless · 15/10/2011 22:31

Noonesgoingtoeatyoureyes: I think probably because I was the only lone person 'saving' a table. All the other tables had two or more people reserving them.

As I said earlier the man at the table for 4 had bought a drink.

OP posts:
FanjoForTheMuahahammaries · 15/10/2011 22:33

Sirzy no, no form of feeding more 'worthy' but getting your breast out maybe more embarrassing if expected to just stand up

KittyFane · 15/10/2011 22:38

Sevenfold mother brings food for child - perfectly acceptable in cafes (in this case breast milk but could equally be a jar of something), child starts feeding whilst DH goes to get the rest of the food. What's the problem with that?

LadyEvilEyes · 15/10/2011 22:39

I'm still mildly seething at the 'over fifties' women,
Why are all women who pass their 50th birthday suddenly old unreasonable gimmers.
OP said she's 27 but looks younger, and they zoomed in on that.
I'm 55, have had a great life of drugs, sex and rock'n roll, though have calmed down a bit now.
I suppose I'll have to stop wearing my skinnies, start buying from Country Casuals and go around tutting at all the young people of today.
Fuck that.

MrsS1980 · 15/10/2011 22:39

I really think this is not about bf or queue jumping. If anyone, m or f, young or old TOLD me I HAD to move I wouldn't even consider it. I am the kind of stupid person who would probably have moved if they asked me, been embarrassed and then angry with myself for moving afterwards, but I do feel the issue here is the rudeness of these women. Who do they think they are?

Sevenfoldedbloodybodies · 15/10/2011 22:42

KittyFane
none but imo that isn't what the op was about imo it is about the op moaning that 2 woman who dare to be over 50(I mean wtf does that have to do with it, any more than the fact that she was BF) asking her to move, when the op hadn't yet actually got any paid for food in a cafe

KittyFane · 15/10/2011 22:42

Now if OP had sat down with DD and DH and got out a box of sandwiches to eat ( no purchase there! ) go ahead, tell them to move!

Sevenfoldedbloodybodies · 15/10/2011 22:43

LadyEvilEyes you and me both

NellieForbush · 15/10/2011 22:45

I think they approached you cos you were alone, young and a little vulnerable (well that is how I feel when I've got a boob and my rolls of fat and stretch marks on display). They sound quite bullying to stand over you outnumbering you and then demand you move.

One of you was eating (breast/bottle/jar don't give a toss) and shouldn't be moved on for them.

Well done for having the presence of mind to make a polite, helpful suggestion that they went and shared. They deserved to be told to fuck off but your response was much better.

KittyFane · 15/10/2011 22:46

sevenfold would agree with you if OP was just sitting there feeding child, using a table with no intention of buying anything but her DH was buying something, DD's food was ready so she was having it.

mrszimmerman · 15/10/2011 22:46

YANBU
I think breastfeeding deserves our nation's support and you are justified in bagsying a table for that purpose.
Could they not see what you were doing?

KittyFane · 15/10/2011 22:47

To add, the bit about old 55 :( I agree :( :( :( !

NellieForbush · 15/10/2011 22:47

ffs!! This isn't about age seven. If the OP hadn't put an age someone would have asked or said that elderly ladies should have priority or something. It was just a description, she didn't make a big deal about it.

KittyFane · 15/10/2011 22:49

mrszim that sort of evangelical approach makes me want to take back everything I have said on this thread.

Goldenbear · 15/10/2011 22:49

As far as I can see it is only Porkchop, i mean mosschops30, who is focusing on the breast feeding part of the anecdote and she (he) only knows her hang ups concerning this issue.

Actually it is relevant that she was breastfeeding but only because it is just very rude, direspectful and invasive of the mother's personal space. I'm sorry but those of you who happily interupt this to make your 'little' point about seating arrangements need to check yourselves- how can any adult think it is acceptable to prioritise their need to eat and drink over that of a babies, unless of course they have special medical needs.

mosschops30 · 15/10/2011 22:49

Yeah british nation, forget our underpaid overworked troops

SUPPORT THE BREASTFEEDERS

Rofl

Original poster
toobreathless · 15/10/2011 22:50

I didn't say 'over 50s' I said 'in their 50s?' the only reason age is relevant is that had they looked like an older person or disabled I would have given up the table for them. Much like I offer my seat on public transport.

OP posts: