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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Too not move in this cafe.

263 replies

toobreathless · 15/10/2011 20:33

First post in AIBU, just curious to hear what others think.

Had a lovely day wondering around a pretty local town. Time came to feed DD, who was getting a bit noisy. Went into the nearest cafe (there are about six) & sat down at a table to feed DD while DH got in the queue for drinks.

Had DD firmly attached when two ladies approached (in their 50s?). I was sat at a table for two. One said to me 'you will have to move we have already bought our drinks & have nowhere to sit.' Stunned, I looked up & realised this was true. I wasn't the only one 'saving' a table.

I politely suggested the ask the gentleman sat alone at a table of four if they could share. They gave me evil stares & swept off.

I feel a bit mean now. Was I BU?

OP posts:
Original poster
toobreathless · 15/10/2011 22:05

Pink4ever: I need a cafe like yours!

OP posts:
RustyBear · 15/10/2011 22:06

Can I ask what on earth the age of the women has to do with anything at all?

AllThreeWays · 15/10/2011 22:07

This is really weird, people queue and buy food, without knowing they will get a table? What happens if after that every table is full of people eating?
Over here you secure a table first, then order. I think the breast feeding is irrelevant.

ShellyBoobs · 15/10/2011 22:08

I'm completely Shock at all the posters who think it's totally acceptable to take a table before purchasing.

What about customers who are alone? Should they not be allowed to use cafes at all?

If it's acceptable to take a table in a busy cafe before buying, there's no way on earth that a lone customer could ever get a table.

I'm stunned at the number of people who would pressumably sit there hogging a table while someone who'd bought something was left stood there unable to eat/drink their purchase.

KittyFane · 15/10/2011 22:09

Now I agree with that mosschops BF women are not special.

OP's DD was eating (breast, bottle - it's not relevant) so she should not have been asked to move.

RustyBear · 15/10/2011 22:10

'Old biddies' helpmabob? They were in their fifties, fgs.

Once again, ageism is the only prejudice accepted on MN....

FanjoForTheMuahahammaries · 15/10/2011 22:10

Not wanting to either stop feeding a hungry baby or show the world your boobs doesn't equate to needing to 'get over yourself' Hmm

pink4ever · 15/10/2011 22:10

shelley are the people "hogging the tables" not customers too?Confused

Sirzy · 15/10/2011 22:11

If I am alone I normally find a table and leave a bag of shopping on it and ask someone at a nearby table to watch it for me. Problem solved.

Why would anyone order food without knowing they would have a seat?

ShellyBoobs · 15/10/2011 22:14

shelley are the people "hogging the tables" not customers too?

Until they've made a purchase, no.

What do you suggest a lone person should do in a busy cafe, full of people hogging tables before they've made a purchase?

I'm intrigued.

Kick2down · 15/10/2011 22:14

I'm with Sirzy. I wouldn't buy food and drink in a place where I'd be unlikely to find a place to eat it. Why would you do that?

LadyEvilEyes · 15/10/2011 22:14

These threads come up all the time, you know, should someone reserve a table while the other queues.
I do, others don't, opinion is very split on this.
The breastfeeding is just an add on to get all the rampant BFers on side,
So, no, YANBU to keep a table, everybody does it.
Just don't try to make yourself a special case because you were breastfeeding.
And the two middle aged women? very ageist by the way, were wrong to ask you to move,
And that is all

KittyFane · 15/10/2011 22:16

Shelly, well according to that, we'd be all stuffed in cafes where you order your food at the counter and pay as you leave..

KittyFane · 15/10/2011 22:18

Well concluded ladyEvil !

AKMD · 15/10/2011 22:19

YANBU, whatever you were doing, they were extremely rude and I wouldn't have moved either.

mosschops30 · 15/10/2011 22:19
Morloth · 15/10/2011 22:20

I think I would probably have actually laughed at them.

YANBU.

Ridiculous.

Proudnreallyveryscary · 15/10/2011 22:20

I am frankly stunned that anyone has an opinion on this 'issue' either way.
Good lord.

FanjoForTheMuahahammaries · 15/10/2011 22:21

Bollocks is the breastfeeding irrelevant, it's an intimate and important act

FanjoForTheMuahahammaries · 15/10/2011 22:22

And I couldn't breastfeed DD incidentally

Want2bSupermum · 15/10/2011 22:23

When you have a baby that needs to be fed they don't know daddy is waiting to be served. Heck I fed DD in costco yesterday by grabbing a folding display chair and sitting on it while I fed her. After she finished I folded the chair back up and put it back. I didn't buy the chair, nor felt any responsibility to. If someone had said they wanted to buy the chair I would have asked them to wait until I was finished. Feeding DD comes first.

The fact that the two women failed to see any baby items is beyond me. There were probably a dozen or so other people they could have gone to but they picked you because you probably seem like someone they could intimidate. Well they picked the wrong person.

ShellyBoobs · 15/10/2011 22:24

The BF is completely irrelevant.

helpmabob · 15/10/2011 22:24

I apologise for being agist!

However OP was not making herself out to be a special case because she was bf, she just mentioned that she was feeding, it is everyone else that has turned it into a bf bunfight

And I frequently go to places on my own and if there are no tables free, I ask to share, its no big deal. I certainly dont ask people saving places to move.

FanjoForTheMuahahammaries · 15/10/2011 22:25

It's not a bf Bunfight...but it's not irrelevant

KittyFane · 15/10/2011 22:26

Fanjo in this instance it is irrelevant whether the OP was breast, bottle, jar or tupperware tub feeding her DD- the child was being fed when the women arrived.