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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Too not move in this cafe.

263 replies

toobreathless · 15/10/2011 20:33

First post in AIBU, just curious to hear what others think.

Had a lovely day wondering around a pretty local town. Time came to feed DD, who was getting a bit noisy. Went into the nearest cafe (there are about six) & sat down at a table to feed DD while DH got in the queue for drinks.

Had DD firmly attached when two ladies approached (in their 50s?). I was sat at a table for two. One said to me 'you will have to move we have already bought our drinks & have nowhere to sit.' Stunned, I looked up & realised this was true. I wasn't the only one 'saving' a table.

I politely suggested the ask the gentleman sat alone at a table of four if they could share. They gave me evil stares & swept off.

I feel a bit mean now. Was I BU?

OP posts:
ToughTed · 15/10/2011 21:29

shellyboobs she was feeding her baby, hardly just a queue jumper was she, her husband was in the queue, she didnt bardge in and order drinks before the couple, surely as adults they could wait till she finished feeding or asked the men to move!

pink4ever · 15/10/2011 21:29

I meet my friends every week for a coffee with my 2 year old in tow. I always sit him down at a table while I queue for our drinks-far safer than having him standing in the vicinity of hot drinks surely?

shelly I would dare you to tell me to moveGrin

KittyFane · 15/10/2011 21:30

mosschop not true in my case, breast or bottle, the baby was 'eating' and unless cafes start insisting that only breast/ formula milk purchased from there (?) can be consumed on the premisesthen the fact remains- DD was already eating her food.

mosschops30 · 15/10/2011 21:30

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

helpmabob · 15/10/2011 21:30

Wow amazed at the hostility. Maybe I am the only one but if I detached my baby in the middle of bf there would be a monumental breakdown. And when I was ff same thing. If I had pulled bottle out of baby's mouth it would have shrieked but fact is it is easier to put a bottle back in a mouth then relatch with a screaming baby. I think bf gets priority over a couple of rude ladies who can share with someone else.

And I never realised there was an etiquette of buy first then sit. I always get a table and one of us saves it. If I see other people saving a table then I think that is their table. I would never ask them to move. Very rude.

BF women treated like mother theresa - what bloody nonsense. It is just common fucking courtesy to not make peoples' lives a nightmare. They could have asked anyone else to move as OP said, but I think that would have been rude too!!!

fedupofnamechanging · 15/10/2011 21:31

That's just the way it goes. If you are on your own, then you have no option but to queue and then find a seat. In that case, I would have more sympathy. But there were two of them. Just because they didn't have the sense to do what everyone else did, it doesn't give them the right to be demanding to the OP.

I wonder why they 'picked' you rather than any of the other customers who had done what you did. Is a breastfeeding woman an easier 'target'?

PavlovtheWitchesCat · 15/10/2011 21:31

to

Sevenfoldedbloodybodies · 15/10/2011 21:31

so did the baby buy the food from the cafe?
of course not, so the baby was not a customer.

MrsCampbellBlack · 15/10/2011 21:31

Interesting the women picked on you rather than the other person holding a table who was a man.

I think if you're sat bf then its fair enough and I'd say the same to someone sat bottlefeeding a baby.

So you weren't unreasonable.

mosschops30 · 15/10/2011 21:32

Thats such bollocks, would you walk into the Ivy and sit at a table to feed your child? No you wouldnt because you hadnt purchased food.
So therefore, op shouldnt have sat until shed got her food /drink

helpmabob · 15/10/2011 21:32

Mosschops no you bloody well cant stand and feed. I never could have, I had large boobs and feeding was really tricky and I just couldn't much as I sometimes wanted to. Does nobody on these threads ever consider that not everyone is the same and different people can't always manage to do what they can.

pink4ever · 15/10/2011 21:32

mosschops-reported your post just so you know.

KittyFane · 15/10/2011 21:33

OP, if the baby wasn't being fed and 'eating', Y would have BU not to move. IMO.

helpmabob · 15/10/2011 21:33

Um I think they sit you at the table at the Ivy before you receive your food and pay for it or is the IVY self service these days?

PavlovtheWitchesCat · 15/10/2011 21:33

what for?

ShellyBoobs · 15/10/2011 21:33

shelly I would dare you to tell me to move

I would happily do so. I'm not at all reticent in expressing my opinion.

Politely, of course. Grin

MrsCampbellBlack · 15/10/2011 21:33

Come on surely the main point is the 2 women could have asked to share a table with a bloke on an empty table or asked a woman who was sat bf to move.

Really - would any sane/normal/considerate person have asked the bf woman to move over the bloke - I just really don't think so.

Shushshessleeping · 15/10/2011 21:34

I think YANBU, that panic of 'crap baby needs feeding now!' The women knew what you doing as well, surely they should've just asked someone else. Or as you suggested, share a 4 table with that man. That annoys me more than table savers.

I think the cafe as a whole would prefer you to save a table and feed baby than queue with a screaming baby on your hip!

ToughTed · 15/10/2011 21:34

omg cant get over how uptight and iggnorant people can be, its a tiny baby ffs! why should she have to stand and feed her when she got a seat 1st, they are customers as they were buying drinks anyway! what would the couple have done if the tables were already full they would of had to wait anyway!

WibblyBibble · 15/10/2011 21:35

Really confused about people who don't seem to understand how cafes work- are you all American, and taking time off from NHS-bashing threads? In a cafe, in the UK, usually people sit down and then are given a menu and drinks/food are bought to them by staff. If this isn't the case, and it is more of a buffet system, it is perfectly normal for one of a party to order for the whole table. You sit down, put down your bags, etc BEFORE you order, so you are not knocking people with them while you queue. That's just how cafes work. They aren't McsoddingDonalds. Seriously, I wish my gran was still alive to teach people how to behave properly in public (as well as to point out that before the NHS, you counted your money before you could call out the doctor for a sick child, and thank god those days were over).

The correct thing for these women to do would be to ask to share another table, or ask if they could take a chair from your table, not try and evict another customer just to make way for their own overblown egos.

mosschops30 · 15/10/2011 21:35

Oh here we go 'breastfed woman is easy target'

Yawn!

God all you do is moan about how hard done by you are, whilst in the next breath saying how natural, easy,can do it anywhere it is.
Clearly not if you need to take up a table.
Maybe thats the equipment that breastfeeding mothers need, a collapsing table and chair so you can feed wherever you choose

ShellyBoobs · 15/10/2011 21:36

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

KittyFane · 15/10/2011 21:36

mosschops and sevenfold
[hhmm]

mosschops30 · 15/10/2011 21:36

Good for you pink

Although dont think ive broken any MN rules, just expressing my opinion

PavlovtheWitchesCat · 15/10/2011 21:36

quite.