to have let DS1, aged 7, to spend his birthday money on a toy pram?

[IneedAbetterNickname]

DS1 got some money for his birthday, and as he loves his dolly, and is too tall for his stroller (the £5 type ones aimed at 1 year olds) I let him spend his money on a lovely toy silvercross. His Dad, and all my in-laws, are horrified. DP has even told me its not 'normal' for a 7 year old boy to have a buggy!

I would let him spend his money on whatever he wants but I am finding it very hard to believe that at 7 he is never teased for carrying a doll around, and as for the poster who said her son wasnt slagged for wearing a pink dress into school, that his peers thought it 'cute', no way , not in a million years do I believe that . I cant only imagine what was really said to the poor child. Having said all that I do believe children should be allowed play with whatever toys they want (or wear a dress too!), but unfortunately I think they will find other kids may not be as accepting.

really elah you dont believe it, well its true, my ds3 DID wear a pink dress to school and there wasnt an issue, he has also worn it out to the park and to a freinds dd's party.

i have a pic on fb i think of him wearing the dress and ready for the party, he had a ball.

if anything was said to ds3, he would have told me or a teacher, but the teacher spoke to me when he went in ( ihad said to her before hand that he wanted to wear it and she had said it would be fine) and she said they have a fancy dress box in the classroom and quite often the boys put on the princess dresses and if anything was said, they just talk about how its ok to dress up and make believe and be your own person. but the girls thought he looked fabulous and his male friends werent bothered, they are 6 yrs old and it was a non-uniform, loads went in a variety of fancy dress outfits his just happened to be a pink dress!

My 4 year old (only turned 4 end of August) ds returned home from school last week declaring he doesn't like pink anymore, previously it has always been his favourite. Apparently he now likes "blue and black". I didn't comment, just said that they were nice colours too, but it did make me a little bit sad.

IneedAbetterNickname, YANBU, be your son 7 or 70 he should be able to buy what he wants with his money.

Oh, and hi to 4mad, .

Maybe it depends on the particular peer group of your child.

Ds is 8 and his peers would be all over this. They are all alpha male types and ridicule those who don't conform to their idea of what is acceptible. Admittedly this is drawn fairly widely but ds will regularly say he can't take something he has treasured for years into school as it isn't cool. He is capable of deciding that he still likes a thing and still wants to have it and still enjoy it but that it isn't something he should share with his friends.

That said, if it is something that they have always seen your son with, perhaps they do accept it. I find that children simply don't notice some differences or behaviours which seem so obvious to adults.

Just seen your fb pic 4mad, he looks gorgeous!

thats a good point goosey, my ds3 has ALWAYS liked dressing up and more 'girly' things so for him to wear a pink dress is NOT out of the ordinary, ditto him wearing a tinkerbell costume or that he has a fairy scooter, one child (an older boy yr 4ish) commented to him that it was 'a girls scooter' and dylan turned round and said 'NO its a FAIRY scoooter and i LOVE fairies' :) like i said he is a happy, outgoing and confident little boy, i just let him get on with it and being into 'girly' things certainly doesnt stop him playing football, or tennis or getting into rough and tumble with his brothers or friends, even WHEN wearing a pink party dress!

thanks wimba :)

i had forgotten that he wore the tiara as well!

worraliberty....of course a 7 yr old can take a doll to a party, what type of idiot would raise an eyebrow at that??? What would you suggest a 7 yr old plays with then?

yes if dolls are too 'babyish' what should a 7yr old play with?!!

maybe i should have a word with the mums of ds3's friends their daughters are all coming up for 7, they had better get some new toys...not dolls tho as they are 'babyish'

ds3 will be 7 in dec, one of his fave games at the moment, is to play 'mummies and daddies' with his friends at school, they are always playing it in the playground, they seem to take it in turns to be mummy, daddy or the baby and have a great time...he has even been known to play it at home with his two elder brothers its imaginary play and role play etc how children learn! they all grow out of it eventually, but many older kids do still play like this particularly at home or when in the company of others who are like minded. my ds's have a sort of cousin, she is 14 and very grown up, looks much older and is a typical teen, but she comes to us over the summer holidays and within a day or so its lovely to see that she comes out of the teen sulk mode and start joining in and playing with my younger boys, she relaxes and is happy and they have a great time. she also goes off and mooches around the mobile phone shops with 12yr old ds1, in typical teen fashion, but it doesnt mean that she is incapable of imaginary play or enjoying make believe games as well.

I think there's a big difference between a just six year old dressing up and a nearly eight year old. I've noticed that for my 5/6 year old (Y1), she's still quite little child-like, if you know what I mean, so at that age many children still have a cuddly or a favourite toy they bring in, they still do show and tell etc (we have being a 'special person' week).

However, move on a couple of years to 7/8 (Y3) and it's quite different. None of the children bring in cuddly toys in the morning, indeed many run into school on their own and meet their parents by the gate at night. They seem to be heading into the '8-12' bracket, hormones and all, which is why I think some posters have said that a 7 year old taking a dolly to a party sounds odd. It kind of does to me, but a young 6/7 year old might (I really really doubt at 8 they will be doing the same).

This thread shows that prejudice is alive and sickening in 2011.

My dd is 8 in January..why on earth wouldn't she take a doll?? And would someone PLEASE tell me what they think she should be playing with then??? An 8 yr old boy or girl of course should be playing with any toys they choose...my dd wears girlie dresses, pretty shoes..is this wrong too?

And by odd, I mean I don't see boys or girls doing it, not that one gender should or shouldn't.

well my eldest went on a school 'field trip'a way for 3 days, in yr 5 and ALL the children pretty much, took a cuddly toy for night time! ds2 is 9 and his bed is FULL of cuddly toys and he takes his fave away with him on holiday etc and he still dresses up, tho he prefers to dress in 'army' type stuff or monster costumes. i cant see ds3 who is almost 7 stopping playing with dolls etc anytime soon, his bday list consists of various tinkerbell toys, a scooter and some hot wheels.

I think it's very sad that an 8 year old boy is so insecure in himself that he has to be totally lead by his peers as to what is acceptable to play with.

You say this is an 'alpha male' group but it sounds more like 4mad's boy is an alpha male - he's doing what he wants, on his own terms.

Alpha male does not equate to 'macho' necessarily.

I REALLY want to know what all the other posters kids play with toy wise....

4mad I can believe that your son feels comfortable in a dress in public. My mum used to work at an after school club and the boys there (up to y6) would often dress up in dresses and role play in the Wendy house, dance or just generally play (whilst wearing a dress). I think its about the environment and if the children feel accepted and safe and know that they or noone else are allowed to be mean then they just do what they feel like. Your sons sound like confident kids with a sense of humour.

I have a friend that said "oh dear, are you sure your DH will be okay with this?" and looked really concerned because DS aged 8 months had ended up in a crown and fairy costume at a little girls birthday party. It was very silly of her but I definately know more people who would support pram buying and dress wearing than who wouldn't, which is a good sign. I'm a little envious of a mini-silver cross pram actually. DS's is pink, I tried to get him interested in my mini-maclaren (looks much posher) but he likes the cheapo pink one.

If it was a 7yo girl dressing up as spiderman for a school mufti day would we be having this conversation? I doubt it...

My ds is quite young for his age (just turned 7) and has unconventional tastes as well as conventional tastes where toys are concerned. He has no problem what so ever with playing with (in fact I think he rather coverts) his sisters polly pockets, her baby toys, whatever takes his fancy really. I don't have a problem with what he plays with as long as he is sustained then so be it. I have let him know that sometimes other children of his age may not accept his choices and give him the choice whether he shares his openness to non traditional toys with them, more often than not he chooses to play the stereotypical toys around others while still more than comfortable around those he trusts to play with and as he wishes.

artvandelay that is EXACTLY what the teacher said that LOTS of the children dress up and role play so it is not a big deal :)

and last year there was a talent show and a couple of the boys in yr 6 dressed up as women complete with big boobs (balloons) and heels, make up etc and put on a show, OMG it was hilarious and it wasnt an issue that they were being 'girly' they were having fun, these same boys then went out at lunch break and had a ball playing football, complete with lipstick and eyeshadow from the performance!

manicbmc, I agree it is sad but ds has been badly bullied by his peers for a variety of reasons including being what they term "weird". He has realised that if he acts in a certain way they will tolerate him and if he acts in a different way they will not. It is heart-breaking. However, I also suspect that it is typical.

I could encourage ds to be himself no matter what anyone else thinks or I could accept his view that at times it is appropriate to adopt social camoflage and fit in. He is much happier when he takes the latter approach. Oddly, because he now tries to conform much of the time, people are more prepared to accept him when he does not.

My 9yr DS gradually weaned himself off cuddling his favourite soft toy at night, before he went on a residential school trip because it was "too precious" to take. He didn't want to be teased despite me saying that the others would be taking soft toys too. Children mature at different rates and this can be seen at school discos. Some are vamped up and some still wear party dresses at age 7. All choices should be acceptable but there comes a point where children start to tease "babyish" choices. Children differ in their reactions to peer pressure too but some may need to have it pointed out that behaving in certain ways lead to consequences. It is very sad when a child suffers the consequences but doesn't realise/is too immature to realise why. Unfortunately once a child is "cast" in a role it is difficult to "reinvent themselves." Obviously if a child is happy to be different then that is an entirely different matter.

As far as I'm concerned, no child should be getting teased for their choices. My dd got plenty of teasing for liking 'boys' games and toys but she stuck with it and now has a nice group of male and female friends, who accept her for herself. And also a wide range of interests.

It's a sad state of affairs when kids can't be kids.

And, Goosey, if that's how your ds prefers it then that's all fine and good. What ever works for him.