To feel totally let down by my bridesmaid

[deathlyhallows]

Ok so I am getting married next week and I have 3 lovely bridesmaids , 2 of whom have been fantastic and really been there for me. I am quite an independent person and have done mostly everything for myself but they have offered to do loads and of anything I have asked they have either done or been so apologetic if they couldn't . But the third ...

Has been so uninterested . Hasn't done one thing to help , has come to nothing unless it has to do with her (ie dress fittings hair and make up) and the wedding is next week and I have seen her a handful of times in the last 3 months . Whenever I text her about wedding stuff she either doesn't get back to me or texts me with a brief reply that doesn't help saying she's been busy at work and is too busy to think about it . And even on her days off she says she needs for herself cos she is so busy at work .

AIBU to think she should be making time for me ?

I am a little bit confused.

Nothing to do with your question, I just am.

Tyelperion - her. somehow its all we ever talk about.

galaxy thats just mean :(

Deathly - I would just ask her if everything is ok as she's been a bit quiet...

Did BM3 show any of these tendencies before?

I understand, deathlyhallows and the only thing wrong is that you picked bridesmaids who weren't the 'all girls together-squeeee' type. You have expectations that it would be a lovely, fluffy time, full of excitement and girlie chats and involvement in your wedding with all four of you chatting about it all and getting much enjoyment from planning the planning, even. It hasn't worked out that way for you and I'm sorry, I can understand your OP now.

All you can do is either call a BM meeting and tell them honestly how you feel and ask them to make the last push what you wanted it to be, or just bite the bullet, know that you'll have a fab wedding day regardless of the preceeding days, and leave it at that.

I'm sorry for referring to you as a Bridezilla, you're not. You just didn't pick the right bridesmaids for what you wanted. When I got married, my best friend was exactly the sort that you would have wanted - I wanted to forcefeed her percoset... she was beyond annoying. but there you go... we're all different.

Have a good-run up to your wedding day and then a fantastic life afterwards because the day - good or bad - will pass by in a flash.

oh galaxy see i dont see that thats fair. i have been to two weddings (neither of them i was a bm at) where a bm has gotten pg. one stepped down as same as you due date was the same weekend. the other the due date was four weeks later and she just bacame a pg bm no big deal!

yes she has sort of always been like that but i have always just accepted her for who she is. i dont remember it being this to this extent but then nothing has ever really been about me before IYSWIM ?

and congrats madmomma on your wedding i hope you had a lovely day.
can i ask though aye on earth you were on MN on you wedding day ? :)

Cos we didn't have an evening do, so trotted off home at 6pm, knackered (7 months preg). I couldn't have a bevvy and dh was pissed, so I chucked the kids in bed and flopped onto mumsnet. after we'd had the obligatory rubbish wedding night shag on the sofa Job done. (I'm such a romantic aren't I?)

Cheers Sharrie. I had a beautiful white wedding first time round so I don't feel the need for another one, and strangely my Dad won't put his hand in his pocket again

The role of a bridesmaid is to destress the bride???? seriously???sorry but I think that is completely ridiculous. Perhaps you need to take more exercise or even drugs, or to pay professional bridesmaids to do it properly?