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AIBU?

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Original poster

to feel resentment over cliquey parents at school

421 replies

MothInMyKecks · 06/10/2011 17:39

Just left a kiddie's party, 4-5, where my little one was the only one to turn up. Angry, and he had a broken wrist so couldn't exactly join in on the bouncy castle. Birthday boy is 5 today and his little face broke my heart. He bounced madly for the best part of half the party whilst me and his Mum made small talk.

I know, I just fucking know that the clique of parents in this class made a decision to not go, because the child is a bit messy, doesn't speak (elective mute), his mother is a bit of a loner, he has no Dad, they're a bit skint. FFS, it was a party and no other kid turned up. I know some parents had to work etc, but I know this class and their parents and many fuckers decided to not go because he's not in the clique. Twating parents. If they could only have seen his face. I never imagined a 5 year old could be humiliated, but I saw it written all over his little face.

And his mother is brassick, totally skint, yet she'd paid out good money to pay for this. Table was laden with food and no fucker turned up.

Sorry - no doubt will get a flaming by some, but I don't feel the need to don a flame proof coat or hat because I'm boiling with anger already Sad

OP posts:
worraliberty · 06/10/2011 18:05

That's what I'm confused about TipOfTheSlung Confused

Bonsoir · 06/10/2011 18:05

It's total madness to give a party for the whole class if your child has only been in the school for three weeks.

wordfactory · 06/10/2011 18:05

There are some kids who no-one much likes in DC's circle but their parties all always well attended. The parents are just too well mannered to start encouraging that sort of nonsense.

And you know, one day it might be your DC who are suddenly unpopular. Girls have a habit of falling in and out.

Jamillalliamilli · 06/10/2011 18:06

I?ve been that mum and it hurt dreadfully, not one parent said they wouldn?t be coming. He?s never had another birthday party.

It seems it?s quite common for SEN kids.

Bonsoir at our old school parents were expected to hold whole class parties in order to make friends.

Ayoop · 06/10/2011 18:06

Bonsoir, your manners are atrocious!

Icelollycraving · 06/10/2011 18:06

Poor little boy,that is just so sad :(
Assuming they all said they would attend,they are absolute bitches. If she just did an open invite,then live & learn but poor little thing,that will knock his confidence for a long time (& his mum's).

wideawakenurse · 06/10/2011 18:07

Also, there is a responsibility on the parents behalf to lead by example here - as it sounds like the little boy has SN.

I would be encouraging DS to go to the party, try to make friends etc. I wan't him to grow up understanding that whilst not everyone looks/talks etc the same you can still be friends and that children with SN are not to be scared of/avoid etc.

TipOfTheSlung · 06/10/2011 18:07

Worral- it does make a difference doesn't it. One is plain cruel and rude the other is just rude

HecateGoddessOfTheNight · 06/10/2011 18:07

I think if they are not going to show up they should fucking well say so, Bonsoir.

Oh, ha ha I don't like the child, so I'm going to claim I'm going to the party, then I just won't show up.

Yeah. That's fair and understandable.

If you don't want to go to a party - you decline the invitation. It's not rocket science.

And don't say that how do we know they didn't say no - nobody puts a table full of food on if they have been told no.

SauvignonBlanche · 06/10/2011 18:07

Poor kid! Angry
My DS never got invited back to parties (he has AS). There was a very ill boy in his class who has since died, I remember DS saying as he wrote out his invite that this boy never got invited to any other parties because he was 'in a wheelchair'. Sad
Bit harsh Bonsoir, no child can be forced to attend a party but the parents have a responsibility to encourage their children to be inclusive towards those with SN.
Fat fucking chance!

CupOfBrownJoy · 06/10/2011 18:08

ignore Bonsoir - being deliberately inflammatory which is terribly bad manners considering the content of the OP Sad

Pandemoniaa · 06/10/2011 18:08

Collection of utter cunts.

I agree that you can't force your child to go to a party but it is your job as a parent to have the decency and basic good manners to politely RSVP in advance of the event and make apologies for your child's absence. You never, ever, ever, leave another parent to host a guest-less party.

Bonsoir · 06/10/2011 18:08

No, I have very good manners. Which is I always ask my daughter whether she would like to attend a party before RSVPing and never expect her to attend social occasions just because (a) she is invited (b) other classmates may be going.

RedHotPokers · 06/10/2011 18:08

Really I could cry about this. I really cannot fathom what the hell is a matter with some people. Have they honestly got no heart?

Bonsoir Hmm! I think you're another one with no heart. If my children accept an invitation they go to the party, unless they are ill. It is BEYOND rude to reply yes, and then just not turn up.

worraliberty · 06/10/2011 18:08

And another thing I don't understand OP

If you knew "that the clique of parents in this class made a decision to not go, because the child is a bit messy, doesn't speak (elective mute), his mother is a bit of a loner, he has no Dad, they're a bit skint"

Then why on earth didn't you pre-warn the Mother about it? Confused

ILoatheMickeyMouseClubhouse · 06/10/2011 18:08

That's so sad, I would never speak to those horrible parents again, what a bunch of nasty bitches

Flamingredhead · 06/10/2011 18:08

bonsoir no maybe children at 5 might not have compassion but maybe the parents should bloody well have some and somce decencey and understanding .

And children learn it from their parents a lot of the time so this says far more abou the parents and yourself Bonsoir ..

pigletmania · 06/10/2011 18:08

I don't believe that for one second that all 30 kids would reject a party without some outside influence.

StewieGriffinsMom · 06/10/2011 18:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Flamingredhead · 06/10/2011 18:09

so at 5 just after starting school your child woud have decided who there friends are and will be [hmm this is age group where friends can change between break and lunch

StewieGriffinsMom · 06/10/2011 18:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pigletmania · 06/10/2011 18:09

worra the op probably did not expect nobody to turn up, and only discovered they were the only ones when they turned up at the party.

JamieComeHome · 06/10/2011 18:10

Bonsoir Many many people do just that. I wouldn't because I can abide throwing parties, but many do. It's a social lubricant.

And call me old-fashioned, but unless my child had been bullied by someone, I'd make him go to the "unpopular" child's party, because IMO "unpopular" children are often the most interesting. And as an adult it's my job to teach manners, tolerance and open-mindedness.

RedHotPokers · 06/10/2011 18:10

'It's total madness to give a party for the whole class if your child has only been in the school for three weeks.'

SO what would you say to your child? 'I'm sorry you're desperate to have a great party, and make lots of new friends. The reality is, noone will come and you will remain friendless.' Yes that should be a confidence booster. FFS. We are talking about CHILDREN!!

Bonsoir · 06/10/2011 18:10

I have never, ever seen a parent attempt to give a large party for a child who is new to the school. It's just a silly thing to do.