Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel resentment over cliquey parents at school

421 replies

MothInMyKecks · 06/10/2011 17:39

Just left a kiddie's party, 4-5, where my little one was the only one to turn up. Angry, and he had a broken wrist so couldn't exactly join in on the bouncy castle. Birthday boy is 5 today and his little face broke my heart. He bounced madly for the best part of half the party whilst me and his Mum made small talk.

I know, I just fucking know that the clique of parents in this class made a decision to not go, because the child is a bit messy, doesn't speak (elective mute), his mother is a bit of a loner, he has no Dad, they're a bit skint. FFS, it was a party and no other kid turned up. I know some parents had to work etc, but I know this class and their parents and many fuckers decided to not go because he's not in the clique. Twating parents. If they could only have seen his face. I never imagined a 5 year old could be humiliated, but I saw it written all over his little face.

And his mother is brassick, totally skint, yet she'd paid out good money to pay for this. Table was laden with food and no fucker turned up.

Sorry - no doubt will get a flaming by some, but I don't feel the need to don a flame proof coat or hat because I'm boiling with anger already Sad

OP posts:
GodKeepsGiving · 06/10/2011 18:40

Something similar happened to my son earlier this year and it's disgusting. Please do report it to the teacher.

vixsatis · 06/10/2011 18:42

OP You are a nice person and are teaching your son to be kind!

I think that it would be worth having a word with the teacher. She can't do anything about bitchy parents; but she may be able to help make the little boy feel special in some way at school

soandsosmummy · 06/10/2011 18:42

awimaway could you not consider accepting but just getting token presents except for close friends. My DD got a couple of little stationary sets last year which I know were from the pound shop but she was delighted with. A big roll of wrapping paper and 3 cards for a quid and it does not cost that much in the end.

Understand about weekends getting booked up though we had one last weekend, have one this and another coming up the following weekend. Needless to say DD wants to go to the lot :)

pigletmania · 06/10/2011 18:43

Its the fact that the parents did not RSVP to the mum, in person or text or something. So at least if the mum knew just one would be coming she would arrange to do something else with her ds and your ds e.g cinema, pizza whatever.

thefirstMrsDeVere · 06/10/2011 18:43

Bloody bastards.

Everything seems really sad when I read these sort of threads.

Sad
MilicentBystander · 06/10/2011 18:44

God, this has made me weep.

Please tell the teacher, she will want to know, she really will. I am sitting here looking at my little five year old son and I feel so sad.
You are a lovely woman OP, please keep us posted.

mrjellykeepskidsquiet · 06/10/2011 18:46

Bonsoir knock it off, your not big or clever.

We all know an invitation is not a summons but manners can always be used.
I can't believe knobheads like these exist anymore.

mustlearntocook · 06/10/2011 18:47

I am normally a committed lurker but this has dragged me out.... YANBU at all!
I feel sick for that boy and his mum and wish to anything she could see this thread and know the support she has tonight. They are a total bunch of arses and should hang their heads in shame. Will you say anything?

veryconfusedatthemoment · 06/10/2011 18:47

I was quite stunned by your OP. At my DS's school not everyone can afford to have a class party and that's fine. If there is a class party everyone is warmly invited - a few don't bother to reply but majority do. Some chidren can't make it and again thats how it is. I've never seen this type of behaviour and we have plenty of SN children at school.

I think you should talk to 1 or 2 of your friends first and find out why they didn't go or reply. Then I think you should talk to school (head, SENCO and teacher) with what you have confirmed as fact. That excluding culture must come from somewhere and perhaps the school can help change direction.

mrjellykeepskidsquiet · 06/10/2011 18:47

Pigletmania....exactly, it is just so cruel.

Carrotsandcelery · 06/10/2011 18:47

I agree with stewie and everyone else who has said that the teacher should be quietly alerted to the shunning that is going on. These poor kids are clearly not being taught tolerance and acceptance at home. I hope nothing ever happens that forces them to realise how tough life is on the other side Sad

lolaflores · 06/10/2011 18:51

Erm, is it a faith school by chance? I met the most unchristian, awful fuckers outside the gates of a faith school. I was skint, single and knew not a soul. The situation was pretty much the same 6 years later. I never invited any of the whores to a party cos I knew that this would happen.
At a first communion party at the school I needed hypothermia treatment following the treatment from all this God fearing wagons. Oh the same ones who would park their 4x4 out front and play chicken with everyone elses kids. The teachers...not much better.

JamieComeHome · 06/10/2011 18:51

mustlearntocook - now you've done it! You'll feel compelled to join in more and more ........

pigletmania · 06/10/2011 18:52

They just stood the poor mum and ds up Sad. When i did a little party for dd for her pre school friends, i included my telephone number and e mail, and all the mums/dads either told me in person or texted me. I will have a little party for dd when she is 5, noway will i do a class party, I personally not keen on them. My dd is SN, I am also open about it, so I was pleased that most turned up.

LaWeasel · 06/10/2011 18:52

I think speaking to the teacher might be more productive than speaking to the other parents bastards that they are efforts to include the little boy at school will make it much harder for the parents to convince their kids they don't want to go to his future parties/play with him.

pigletmania · 06/10/2011 18:55

I am pleased to say that in dd MS school they are generally a good bunch of parents, some I am not familiar or not that friendly with some I am, but if dd had a class party and I invited everyone I know most would turn up despite dd difficulties.

StewieGriffinsMom · 06/10/2011 18:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mustlearntocook · 06/10/2011 18:57

3 years of lurking and now am done for, I can't stop myself tip tapping away Blush I am currently organising a party for my DS - just can't imagine what it would feel like for all that work and excitement to be ruined by people not replying and not turning up. Bastards. Off for a lie down.....

ButWhyIsTheGinGone · 06/10/2011 18:58

This is so horrible.
I can't imagine how awful you felt being the only ones there. How crushing for that poor boy. :-(

Mishy1234 · 06/10/2011 19:01

Complete swines. I would make sure they find out that nobody turned up and how devastated that poor child was.

threeinmybed · 06/10/2011 19:02

Oh God OP that's bloody dreadful Sad if that was me, I'd have to give some of those parents a pics of my mind.

bonsoir clearly it's not a summons, but in the real world, there is such a thing as good manners. Do you really have such a hard heart that you don't feel sympathy for this child?

WynkenBlynkenandNod · 06/10/2011 19:06

That is awful and depressing that anyone could in the slightest not think it is. I agree with veryconfusedathemoment, this little boy needs a bit of support from the school in these circumstances as it's hard to imagine things not getting worse without some intervention.

ZZZenAgain · 06/10/2011 19:06

oh poor kid, the poor mother too. I find with birthday invitations, it is best if you don't get a reply to call and check who is coming.

Hopefully it wasn't a group decision to somehow boycott it. I've really never come across anything like that.

maypole1 · 06/10/2011 19:07

Ah the school gate mafia same thing happened to my lo, 16 children in the class 15 got invited I wouldn't of minded but the class teacher actually said my son was the only child this girl actually played with the mum was a bit eccentric as was the child she was just like my boy so nt surprised they got on so well, but this mum so wanted to be in the mafia

I was so disappointed that she would give invites based on trying to curry favour With the popular mums

Do you the funny thing after years of none of them talking to me the first day my oh came down the school they all were suddenly my new best mates yuk

I almost had a mum sprint across the playground to ask me who that sexy guy I was with was

iMemoo · 06/10/2011 19:08

Bonsoir, I have always respected your honesty in the past but here you're just coming across as heartless and rather cruel. If you don't teach your children some manners then don't be surprised if one day it's your child who is rejected by their peers.

Proof that you can't buy class.

Swipe left for the next trending thread