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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have a baby at 45?

606 replies

Hope88 · 05/10/2011 14:53

I am thinking about having another child. But I would like to have a bigger gap between children which means I would be getting near 45. If it all goes well. Do you think it's selfish to have a child at 45? I just think I would be a better mother if I wait opposed to rushing into it and being really stressed out. Your thoughts please.

OP posts:
Aislingorla · 08/10/2011 00:34

Why do you get so hung up on everything I say then Yellow? If you were 'completely unmoved' as you claim, why do you keep addressing me? What exactly do you want me to do/say? Agree with you! You know, you really do need to concentrate on people in your RL.
Why does it upset you so much if we were shocked at how old the parents were (dropping their kids off at B) Some of them looked ancient. Fact? Get over it.

Aislingorla · 08/10/2011 00:40

Bled, good for you. I didn't know you had cancer , you attack me as if I did. We only get a tiny snapshot of peoples' lives on here.

If I think that being in ones 40s is too old to start having children, so be it. You (nor the other posters) are not going to change my opinion by constantly 'telling me off'.

Capricorn76 · 08/10/2011 07:59

Sorry I believe the OP is a journalist and is not genuine. She doesn't seem very interested and has given hardly any facts.

Proudnreallyveryscary · 08/10/2011 08:41

Journalist

TheCornishPickle · 08/10/2011 09:16

Hmm an interesting story in the Times magazine this morning...Hmm

Yellowstone · 08/10/2011 09:29

Aisling I very much doubt you'd agree with my views but it's you who appears to be in a minority of one, not me.

I need to concentrate on people in my RL? Come on Aisling, you must be able to do better than that! Eight children including six teenagers, no help, other family and friends, colleagues. Nope, all well taken care of thanks!

My objection is to your serious unpleasantness at Birmingham, then to various other posters on the thread. Nothing more, nothing less.

If there is a journo about then she can take from the thread that a wannabe bright young mum laughing at 'older' parents gets trampled underfoot pretty fast by MNers who find that sort of smug conduct offensive.

Yellowstone · 08/10/2011 09:35

Laughing has become 'shock' now has it Aisling? Hmm

Aislingorla · 08/10/2011 09:43

Yellow, it is slightly worrying that you let my 'we had a bit of a laugh at the older parents dropping their kids off' comment get to you so much. You need to get over it and move on. You seem stuck here.You really shouldn't let strangers on an Internet forum get to you.

Bacically, whether I am loved or hated on MN, a smug MILF or 'old trout' a 'laugher at older parents,', stealth boaster,etc., etc,. does not alter the fact that at 45 it is not advisable (medically and in some cases socially) to have a baby.

Deux · 08/10/2011 09:46

The main article in the Times magazine about older mothers has been lifted straight from the New Yorker article linked to up-thread.

Yellowstone · 08/10/2011 09:49

Nope again, I'm fine with it. I've been stuck here having to do something even more tedious on my computer since Thurs. It's been quite amusing watching you wriggle.

You haven't got to me yet. It takes rather more wit.

Anyhow, I'm pretty much done.

Aislingorla · 08/10/2011 10:12

Good, yellow, Well bored of you now!
I did get to you. Can't deny it.
You've addressed me so much on this thread, it's embarrassing .
Bye!

hazeyjane · 08/10/2011 10:12

Aisling, I think just about everyone on here has said that it might not be best to wait until 45 for medical reasons (although I think most people have said it far more tactfully), but your assertion that it is not advisable for social reasons is entirely baseless.

The way you have responded to people on here has been rude and unpleasant.

hazeyjane · 08/10/2011 10:13

Why do you want to 'get' to people, and get a rise out of them, what is wrong with you!

Yellowstone · 08/10/2011 10:18

I deny it.

KatAndKit · 08/10/2011 10:18

Is this still going on?

BoffinMum · 08/10/2011 10:22

It is best to have babies in your teens and early twenties. However women are (surprisingly enough) designed to have babies until the menopause. Nature has made sure the ovarian tap gets turned off once women are too old to be able to cope easily with the physical strain of childbearing. So any time up until the menopause is possible. Whether it is socially desirable is another question.

KatAndKit · 08/10/2011 10:25

It's not really all that socially desirable to have babies in your teens either though is it. Teenage mothers on benefits are, according to the daily mail, the root of all evil surely?

BoffinMum · 08/10/2011 10:34

Indeed, but if they are healthy they are prime genetic stock Wink

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 08/10/2011 10:37

The OP's a journo and Aisling's a troll

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 08/10/2011 10:38

oh and trolling isn't just pretending to be something your not it's posting to get a rise out of people.
Now ,
didn't Wales do well this morning Grin

mrsrat · 08/10/2011 10:51

I had my first DD at 38 and second at 40 ( only because i hadnt met anyone I loved enough before then, not by choice ) and I then started my menopause shortly afterwards, so something to bear in mind. Early menopause is apparently hereditary so just check with your mum as my mum hadnt even mentioned it to me. That aside I think if it feels right you should go for it but a word of caution now nearly nudging 50 I do get completely knackered trying to keep up with them both.

Bledkr · 08/10/2011 10:52

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 08/10/2011 11:03

Bledkr sometimes one just needs to get things off our chests Grin

Aislingorla · 08/10/2011 11:36

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

brdgrl · 08/10/2011 11:46

getting so worked up about what a stranger says on an IF is a sign of something more serious Bled, see your GP)

a very nice thing to say a couple of posts after you've acknowledged ths woman's bout with cancer.

I'm sorry people are so stupd,Bledkr. I also had my DD after cancer treatment. She's all the more amazing to me.