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A relative pinched my 14 month old baby on her face

532 replies

Snickers25 · 04/10/2011 22:20

My partners sister pinched our baby on the face, causing a bruise that lasted 10 days. I saw the aunt pinch my daughter just as I walked past the room. I assume my baby might have pinched her first (but that's no excuse as the aunt is 43 and my daughter is only 14 months old). My baby daughter screamed in pain and sobbed for several minutes afterwards. As soon as I saw it happen I scooped her up and removed her from the room but now I don't trust this woman with my kids. I have 3 Pre-schoolers and this aunt has moved in with us for 12-18 months!
I didn't say anything to the aunt at the time as I was too shocked and upset. I haven't mentioned it since & it was 2 months ago. I asked my partner to speak to the aunt (his sister) which he did & she seemed surprised about the deep blue bruise on baby's cheek. He apparently said that only we (parents) are to discipline the children.

My daughter also had a large cut on her top lip a few weeks before (obviously a fingernail cut from the aunt) which the aunt said was caused by baby's fingernail. She had only been with the aunt for an hour. It definitely wasn't from baby as it was too wide/thick to be from a baby's fingernail. I couldn't understand why she would lie about an accident. I wouldn't have been upset/angry about an accident! Why lie about it?

However, I don't trust her now & I sure as heck don't want my kids to have to live with her if something ever happened to me & my partner (that aunt is in our will as being guardian and I want that changed now).
Has anyone else had something similar happen? How did you handle it? Thanks for any advice.

OP posts:
FabbyChic · 04/10/2011 23:51

I can't stomach this thread anymore. Im disheartened that a mother would stan by and do nothing, Im appalled that people are told they are overreacting when a child is abused physically that they get upset.

It is cry worthy to know that a mother of a child has done nothing and let it go. Her only thougth being the will. Two months later.

Petisa · 04/10/2011 23:52

You are definitely not over-reacting OP. Haven't you confronted her about this? Have you said anything to your DP?

troisgarcons · 04/10/2011 23:52

Reporting a thread involves mn reporting it to other services!!

Clearly a thick moment here ..... I never had to register a real name on this site ....exactly how does MN Central report wild posts to the police/SS/any other agency?

freakendblue · 04/10/2011 23:52

lenny, the child is number 1. If i was so blinded i'd want these guys, I would never be.

freakendblue · 04/10/2011 23:54

they have your name and postcode

mumsamilitant · 04/10/2011 23:54

Not read much of the other hundreds of threads but blimey, not good honey. Aunt does sound a bit derranged. Protect your kids. Tell hubby its not on that she stays and get her out. To be honest if a relative or whoever bruised my kids cheek, she'd be dust.

Snickers25 · 04/10/2011 23:57

I haven't left, it's taking me time to read posts and difficult to type on iPhone. Thank you again RIZZO

OP posts:
troisgarcons · 04/10/2011 23:57

they have your name and postcode

Do they? I think not.

lenny101 · 04/10/2011 23:58

Freakendblue... I get the first bit, I have some children, you know? But I don't understand the blinded wanting guys bit?

freakendblue · 04/10/2011 23:58

they ask for you postcode dont they and your email, oh i don't know.

Petisa · 04/10/2011 23:59

Oh I see you told your dp and he had a word with her, sorry I missed that. So why have you decided now to write here after 2 months? Is the worry eating away at you? Are you afraid it'll damage your relationship with your dp if you insist she leaves? Why isn't he more concerned, does he think it was just a one-off?

freakendblue · 04/10/2011 23:59

lenny, most of these guys talk sense. whats hving kids got to do with it?

Snickers25 · 05/10/2011 00:01

Thank you so much Lenny101.

OP posts:
HerHissyness · 05/10/2011 00:02

Snickers25, the advice is that this woman needs to be removed from your family home. No matter the fall out.

She is not working, so she needs to go back to Oz ideally on the very next available flight.

Your daughter has been hurt on more than one occasion and she seems totally clueless as to why you are shocked by it.

You are not negligent. This woman CHOSE to harm your baby. That was HER decision.

Since then I kind of get where you are, you are in shock, perhaps too trusting and too worried by what reaction your protecting your children will cause. This is a common reaction in child abuse cases. I say common, by no means does this make it acceptable, but you seem paralysed to act, for fear of rocking too many boats.

In short, BUGGER the boats!

You need to focus on what has happened in it's simplest terms. You need to repeat it over and over and not get involved in any form of discussion/reasoning.

"My daughter was deliberately hurt by this woman, at least once, very probably twice, if not MORE, and it is not ever acceptable."

Realistically she needs to be on a flight in the next few days. Tbh, until then she ought to be in a hotel/B&B, but I understand that may be nigh on impossible to achieve.

You need to communicate to your DP and to her that she will not be allowed to harm your DC, and that you are outraged. If she doesn't agree to go as soon as possible that you WILL be considering calling the POLICE and having her arrested for child abuse.

lenny101 · 05/10/2011 00:02

"whats hving kids got to do with it?" children come first, yep with you there.
Still not getting the other bit. However it matters not.

RIZZ0 · 05/10/2011 00:03

I think MN need to clarify the claims being made here about having the power to report things via having posters names and postcodes. Because if it isn't true is very irresponsible to make these claims, where future posters looking for advice may be scared off talking about it in case it is taken out of their hands in this way.

If it is true, then we should also know.

Too much hysteria here tonight. It's not helping this OP to be guided towards doing the right thing.

freakendblue · 05/10/2011 00:04

rizzo i agree about postcodes etc although pretty sure when you register you give it.

RIZZ0 · 05/10/2011 00:04

I am concurrently posting on a similar thread BTW, where I am saying a lot of the same things as you guys about not turning a blind eye and taking action. To be clear, the tone of some of the messages here is all I'm questioning, not the message itself.

freakendblue · 05/10/2011 00:05

however, don't agree hysteria, do agree with herhiss, good calm advice.

Petisa · 05/10/2011 00:06

I don't think people are being hysterical on here, they are just saying what they think. If anyone did that to my 13 month old dd2, they would be pushed out the front door, bags chucked out after them, and I would never see them again. Even if they were dp's sister.

I think people here are so worried because who knows what this woman might be doing when the OP's back is turned? She might not have done anything else, but how are we to know, this is the internet after all! But how can you take the risk OP day in day out?

mumsamilitant · 05/10/2011 00:06

Just read whole thread. For god sake get a grip... the woman pinched her cheek. The mother is getting concerned and won't leave the kids with her. Why are you all ganging up on the OP? its not a bloody movie. Sweetheart, talk to your husband/partner and just don't let her be with the kids when someone isnt around. You ARE NOT to blame! FFS get a damn grip MNers!

freakendblue · 05/10/2011 00:07

This is so sad. Sad

Petisa · 05/10/2011 00:08

So she's supposed to ensure this woman is not alone with her kids for the next 18 months? In her own home? Why the fuck should she do that?

freakendblue · 05/10/2011 00:09

umm she pinched her cheek so hard it bruised for 10 days!!!!!! Also strongly suspected of scratching a baby.

mumsamilitant · 05/10/2011 00:09

Yes they are being bloody hysterical!

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