A relative pinched my 14 month old baby on her face

[Snickers25]

My partners sister pinched our baby on the face, causing a bruise that lasted 10 days. I saw the aunt pinch my daughter just as I walked past the room. I assume my baby might have pinched her first (but that's no excuse as the aunt is 43 and my daughter is only 14 months old). My baby daughter screamed in pain and sobbed for several minutes afterwards. As soon as I saw it happen I scooped her up and removed her from the room but now I don't trust this woman with my kids. I have 3 Pre-schoolers and this aunt has moved in with us for 12-18 months!
I didn't say anything to the aunt at the time as I was too shocked and upset. I haven't mentioned it since & it was 2 months ago. I asked my partner to speak to the aunt (his sister) which he did & she seemed surprised about the deep blue bruise on baby's cheek. He apparently said that only we (parents) are to discipline the children.

My daughter also had a large cut on her top lip a few weeks before (obviously a fingernail cut from the aunt) which the aunt said was caused by baby's fingernail. She had only been with the aunt for an hour. It definitely wasn't from baby as it was too wide/thick to be from a baby's fingernail. I couldn't understand why she would lie about an accident. I wouldn't have been upset/angry about an accident! Why lie about it?

However, I don't trust her now & I sure as heck don't want my kids to have to live with her if something ever happened to me & my partner (that aunt is in our will as being guardian and I want that changed now).
Has anyone else had something similar happen? How did you handle it? Thanks for any advice.

Maybe your DP and his family need to go with her too.

maybe that is what the OP is scared of, that she will lose her DP

Now she's away again, for 3 weeks? So in what way does she see that as helping?

At least you can now get an uninterrupted conversation going with your dh. You can tell her to go, for the following reasons:

a) you had to tell her not to give your 1yo cola. Someone who know that little of child care needs constant watching. Consequently, is simply causing you more work.

b) she is jetting off all over the place and is therefore not reliable, so kids could not be left with her even if she knew how to look after them, which she doesn't.

c) she is using you as a cheap base from which she can go off and see the world, without paying you a penny for the privilege of treating your house like a hotel.

d) she hurt your baby. Another example of her ignorance of how to look after children and why she is no help.

Does she do anything helpful? Does she shop for you, cook for you, put the washing on, hoover, tidy? Maybe you could give her a chores list when she comes back from her latest jaunt? Personally, I'd expect to see all those things on it at least once a week. Perhaps if you treat her as the maid she'll go of her own accord

e) with you, DP and three kids, surely its a tad crowded?

f) I assume shes in a guest room? Maybe point out that with her living (not "staying") with you, your mum has no where to stay when she visits next month...

g) Anyway, staying with you is reasonable, uninvited is rather unreasonable. 18 months is quite frankly taking the piss!

I'm sure that if you are that keen to stop possible issues with the family, you can think of lots of other reasons to kick her out on her arse explain its time to move on.
Although thinking about it, I'm sure DPs family wouldnt want your DCs "at risk" any more than you or your DP...? If you did explain to them that she doesnt have the patience to care for children (or however else it could be sugar coated a little for them) surely they wouldnt have a problem with that?

Update?!

Good grief this is bananas

Hope you're OK, Snickers.