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Original poster

A relative pinched my 14 month old baby on her face

532 replies

Snickers25 · 04/10/2011 22:20

My partners sister pinched our baby on the face, causing a bruise that lasted 10 days. I saw the aunt pinch my daughter just as I walked past the room. I assume my baby might have pinched her first (but that's no excuse as the aunt is 43 and my daughter is only 14 months old). My baby daughter screamed in pain and sobbed for several minutes afterwards. As soon as I saw it happen I scooped her up and removed her from the room but now I don't trust this woman with my kids. I have 3 Pre-schoolers and this aunt has moved in with us for 12-18 months!
I didn't say anything to the aunt at the time as I was too shocked and upset. I haven't mentioned it since & it was 2 months ago. I asked my partner to speak to the aunt (his sister) which he did & she seemed surprised about the deep blue bruise on baby's cheek. He apparently said that only we (parents) are to discipline the children.

My daughter also had a large cut on her top lip a few weeks before (obviously a fingernail cut from the aunt) which the aunt said was caused by baby's fingernail. She had only been with the aunt for an hour. It definitely wasn't from baby as it was too wide/thick to be from a baby's fingernail. I couldn't understand why she would lie about an accident. I wouldn't have been upset/angry about an accident! Why lie about it?

However, I don't trust her now & I sure as heck don't want my kids to have to live with her if something ever happened to me & my partner (that aunt is in our will as being guardian and I want that changed now).
Has anyone else had something similar happen? How did you handle it? Thanks for any advice.

OP posts:
runningwilde · 04/10/2011 22:38

I have just posted but am beyond disturbed that this woman is still in your house... I honestly don't understand what you are waiting for? Get her out, out, out and change your will. Do it now.

This is so awful

QuintessentialDread · 04/10/2011 22:39

WTF?

You are allowing somebody who are hurting your children to live with you???
That is absurd.

SuePurblybilt · 04/10/2011 22:40

Clearly you need to get to the bottom of it and take steps to make your children safe, including changing the will if needs be.
Your OP worries me though, you didn't say anything at the time or to her afterwards? You still haven't spoken to her directly about these incidents and she lives with you?

runningwilde · 04/10/2011 22:42

Am further shocked that the first incident was two months ago... Seriously?! Why haven't you done anything about this?

FetchezLaVache · 04/10/2011 22:42

Let's be right about this. Your SIL was in a room with your baby daughter on her own, she didn't think she was being observed, it was only by chance that you happened to walk past the door and witness her assaulting your child. She pinched her on the face hard enough to make her sob and left a bruise that lasted for 10 days. You also have reason to think that she cut your child's face with her nail.

Don't wait for a third incident- issue marching orders.

BagofHolly · 04/10/2011 22:45

You call her The Aunt, not SIL. Is this situation more complex because of cultural/familial factors?

Notchattingnow · 04/10/2011 22:46

This sounds very strange.
Pinching babies faces is not discipline and not normal .
If a medical professional sees bruises like this there will be an investigation involving social services.

Shoni · 04/10/2011 22:48

I'm sorry but husbands sister or not!! If your child pinches her first or not should she inflict any type of pain on your child! Sounds to me she's abuseing your children!! Get that awful person away from your kids pronto and if your hubby moans then I'm sorry but he can go too!! If it was me that's what I'd do!!
Just by chance did you see the nanny in the USA who was babysitting a 14 month old, ? The parents planted a camera and found she was very abusive towards their baby!! Google it! I'm sorry I'm a bit forward with this but common!! Pinching a baby's face and nail marks in another child?? HELLO!!! I'd of done her in by know what's it gona take??

HerHissyness · 04/10/2011 22:49

I'm still fuming. This woman needs to go right away, and if your DP doesn't insist on it, HE can go too!

weekendblue · 04/10/2011 22:49

Are you for real? This person is abusing your baby and you are standing by and letting it happen. Sad She leaves now, your children never have contact again and you consider reporting her to the police. Please don't let this continue.

Vallhala · 04/10/2011 22:50

That was 2 months ago and she's still living w you? What's wrong with you? Throw her out!

weekendblue · 04/10/2011 22:51

Ver disturbed by this OP, please don't let this continue. Poor baby.Sad

weekendblue · 04/10/2011 22:52

Is there something stopping you op?

Shoni · 04/10/2011 22:53

Please give us good news my nerves are shot!!!!
Poor kids!! please don't let this lie..

troisgarcons · 04/10/2011 22:56

this aunt has moved in with us for 12-18 months!

no - you take her down the housing office TOMORROW and declare her homeless.

ButterAndPie · 04/10/2011 22:56

OP - please don't be scared to reply - we want to help, but you really do need to do something. There must be more to this story, but no matter what it is, this woman can not be left with children.

FabbyChic · 04/10/2011 22:57

If you allow this person to continue living in your house you are enabling an abuser, you are basically saying that her behaviour is acceptable, you yourself are allowing your children to be abused, and sorry in my book that makes you as bad as her.

Either get rid of her or move out and take your kids with you along with your partners bank card and anything else you can lay your hands on.

If someone touched my kids family or not I'd deck them then when they got up I'd deck them again.

weekendblue · 04/10/2011 22:58

butter is right op we really want to help, you know this is so wrong. Please come back.

Petisa · 04/10/2011 22:58

Was just going to post the same - don't let us scare you off we are just concerned for your children.

weekendblue · 04/10/2011 22:59

fab you are talking sense -for once- girl.

NiecieTheTerminator · 04/10/2011 23:02

OP the only reason I can see that you haven't thrown this woman out is that she is abusing you too or the very least, she is frightening you too. If that is the case, you need to find the strength to get her out even if you are scared. Just imagine how scared your children are, living with volatile and unstable person.

I also don't understand why your partner is not throwing her out himself.

Is there something else you haven't told us? Why is this awful woman living with you in the first place?

runningwilde · 04/10/2011 23:04

Was about to say the same thing weekendblue!

Seriously though, I feel sick about this thread, I can't believe you are letting this abusive woman be near your kids... I don't get it and feel quite mad and really worried too

Shoni · 04/10/2011 23:04

If there is no reply I'm sorry but this is getting reported! I'm nearly in tears here! Children need there parents to protect them!! I'm really worried!! It's not your fault she's doing this but will be if you know about it and don't act And turn a blind eye!!!
Angry

FabbyChic · 04/10/2011 23:06

This thread makes me feel really sick, I hate people hurting children, I want to put my hands around their necks and squeeze.

But pinching a baby? I hope this is a troll thread I really do, because a mother who stands by and says fuck all and basically allows it to continue is sick. Totally deranged.

freakendblue · 04/10/2011 23:06

Agree shoni. (its weekendblue here) Come back, there is such a wealth of knowledge on mumsnet, we can try to help.

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