Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

A relative pinched my 14 month old baby on her face

532 replies

Snickers25 · 04/10/2011 22:20

My partners sister pinched our baby on the face, causing a bruise that lasted 10 days. I saw the aunt pinch my daughter just as I walked past the room. I assume my baby might have pinched her first (but that's no excuse as the aunt is 43 and my daughter is only 14 months old). My baby daughter screamed in pain and sobbed for several minutes afterwards. As soon as I saw it happen I scooped her up and removed her from the room but now I don't trust this woman with my kids. I have 3 Pre-schoolers and this aunt has moved in with us for 12-18 months!
I didn't say anything to the aunt at the time as I was too shocked and upset. I haven't mentioned it since & it was 2 months ago. I asked my partner to speak to the aunt (his sister) which he did & she seemed surprised about the deep blue bruise on baby's cheek. He apparently said that only we (parents) are to discipline the children.

My daughter also had a large cut on her top lip a few weeks before (obviously a fingernail cut from the aunt) which the aunt said was caused by baby's fingernail. She had only been with the aunt for an hour. It definitely wasn't from baby as it was too wide/thick to be from a baby's fingernail. I couldn't understand why she would lie about an accident. I wouldn't have been upset/angry about an accident! Why lie about it?

However, I don't trust her now & I sure as heck don't want my kids to have to live with her if something ever happened to me & my partner (that aunt is in our will as being guardian and I want that changed now).
Has anyone else had something similar happen? How did you handle it? Thanks for any advice.

OP posts:
spiderslegs · 06/10/2011 22:42

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

freakendblue · 06/10/2011 22:46

Thanks spider have reported personal attack. No need love. Hopefully you will get banned for that as uncalled for.

runningwilde · 06/10/2011 22:47

Am really glad to hear you are going to tell her to leave and I assume you have changed the will?
I wouldn't be so blasé about leaving a sleeping baby in tw house with her - she (the aunt) is odd and Sounds dangerous as she could easily harm the baby whilst she sleeps - don't take this risk for gooness sake

Don't leave baby in the house with her even if baby sleeping

Get her out soon - soon!

PetisaPumpkinHead · 06/10/2011 22:48

Oh my god that sounds so stressful Snickers. You've got it all figured out.

Good luck with getting her out, stay strong, play that image of her pinching your little dd in your mind just as you described it here any time you feel yourself wavering and hearing little voices saying to you maybe you are being OTT/ maybe she has understood and won't do anything again / she's my dp's sister and he loves her, etc. Don't let anyone try to make you doubt the fury you feel about it, or to try and make you feel you are being OTT. Best of luck, let us know how you get on if you wish!

PetisaPumpkinHead · 06/10/2011 22:49

Yes and at the risk of nagging, change the will, change the will, change the will. And get her a really disgusting take away tomorrow.

freakendblue · 06/10/2011 22:50

Haha froth word of the week, so down with the kids, running with the pack... like a frothing dog - non?

Anyhow, agree with running

Original poster
Snickers25 · 06/10/2011 22:53

Thanks hullygully, first time I've laughed in ages. It wasn't intended to be a joke (aunt gets fatter = it's obviously my fault & yes it's a sneaky & cowardly way to get rid of someone) but I can see how my reply might read to people on here. Some find it crazy, some find it a waste of time and some find it funny. I'm sorry it does read rather ridiculous but as I said before, until she moves out, I'm on SIL strike.

OP posts:
RIZZ0 · 06/10/2011 22:56

Think you'll have to go back to Nethuns to get someone banned for a fuckoff. Just saying....

Snickers, hope your OH gets this sorted soon, you'll get ther... dont get too exhausted witht the SIL avoidance in the meantime, get him to sort it fast, the longer it takes, the more resentment builds up on most sides I imagine.

freakendblue · 06/10/2011 22:58

Back to? Wasn't there in the first place and telling someone to f off is a personal attack.Angry

freakendblue · 06/10/2011 23:00

Op sorry but that is just plain crazy. I can't work out if you are for real, wheres your mama tiger? Hmm Wouldn't be no hope for the old bag in my house.

Original poster
Snickers25 · 06/10/2011 23:00

Thankyou Petisapumpkinhead, I have changed will and sending it off tomorrow (if I get to post office...but I doubt that unless I take kids with me...in their pj's....so it might be next week). But it's getting changed which is the important thing.

OP posts:
freakendblue · 06/10/2011 23:01

Has your husband signed the will too?

spiderslegs · 06/10/2011 23:12

Report away, I happen to think your brand of hysteria is far more harmful than the occasional fuck off, but hey, we're all different.

I think posters telling the OP she's an abuser should be rounded on & shown the door.

I also think the OP is trying to deal with a difficult situation in the best way she can - maniacal vilifying isn't very helpful is it? Really?

The child was pinched (horribly) not forcibly thrown against a wall, the OP is keeping an eye on the situation & trying to edge her out.

It's all so easy to call foul when it's not our lives isn't it?

CheerfulYank · 06/10/2011 23:16

Pag do I get to be a crony?

Pur-leez?

freakendblue · 06/10/2011 23:16

Spiderlegs, oh you are so right at least the baby wasn't thrown against the wall. Hmm Are you people for real? I have reported you wether it makes a difference or not because you are sooooo right hun, we must all suport OP even when she is clearly barking??? Hmm Grin theres youre bogof.

spiderslegs · 06/10/2011 23:42

Yep, well, well done, OP came on here with a legitimate concern & you may have, with your insane ramblings, reduced her to a state of utter paranoia.

Clearly pinching a child's face to that extent is not, in any way, an act that should be applauded. It is clearly wrong & not a little disturbed.

But OP is dealing with it as she sees fit. She is obviously a very good mother who is struggling with a difficult situation. She is doing what she sees best in the circumstances. She is living them. Not you, & from her posts I would judge her fit to decide the path through this.

Telling her her baby is in danger in its bed is specious shite.

OP keep doing what you're doing, trust yor instincts - you're doing well. Especially to dive back in here after the abuse you suffered upthread. You will do the right thing. Be strong.

Moominsarescary · 06/10/2011 23:51

My nanas cousin did something similar to my 2nd cousin, he was late thirtys at the time and my cousin was around 18 months old. The family was watching old family movies and the baby kept running in front of the tv so uncle gave him a pinch.

Those family members who saw were to gob smacked to say anything so I can understand you being to horrified at the time to have a go at her, although my gran gave uncle a real mouth full in private afterwards.

We do tend to avoid him but that's because he is a Pompus prat, he's just a stupid man who has never been around children and obviously didn't think that it was unacceptable to pinch one that was annoying him. He certainly isn't sat waiting for an opportunity to get a child on it's own so he can give it a pinch.

Some people are twats who don't think before they act and no I wouldn't leave my children alone with him and I wouldn't leave my children alone with the sil but because she did it once, doesn't mean she is nessasarily waiting for an opportunity to do it again.

You need to sit down and ask her why she thought it was an acceptable thing to do in the first place.

heleninahandcart · 07/10/2011 00:13

Freakendblue I stopped this thread yesterday because of the way it was going. Still an attempted witch hunt by some less able posters with a side order of histrionics. Your attitude and comments towards the OP are unhelpful and full of spite, so much so that they actually say far more about you than the OP who you are trying to vilify. Just nasty.

OP you are already taking steps, it is your home and you are dealing with a very difficult situation. As Spiderslegs says, trust your own instincts.

Shoni · 07/10/2011 00:58

Snickers You said you were going to speak to the aunt directly? Know this story of tactics,, I think you maybe to scared to put her on the spot and fling her out altogether by going over what you have said.. I don't think you'll stand up to her for your kids sake I'm sorry I don't want to offend.. Or upset you but this is your home why should you tip toe around someone who is/has been hurting your children? I don't see this working shell more likely get to lazy or fat to leave altogether,,

spiderslegs · 07/10/2011 01:09

Helpful Shoni - no more Eastenders analogies to add to that?

Shoni · 07/10/2011 01:11

Lol Grin

Migsy1 · 07/10/2011 09:40

Good for you Snickers. This woman is taking advantage of everyone around her. She needs to go. She is draining you and your family. She deserves no loyalty as far as I can see. Your husband should be more supportive to you though. Good luck with speaking to her. Hopefully then she will get the message that she is not welcome.

runningwilde · 07/10/2011 09:41

C'mon people, give freakandblue a break, she is concerned and just because some posters act passionately to this situation it doesn't make them hysterical! They just care!

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 07/10/2011 09:44

No, they don't 'care'. They just like getting themselves caught up in hysteria and draaaaaama. Hmm

FetchezLaVache · 07/10/2011 10:44

I can't believe she's staying at your home (for free?) and complaining that you're not cooking meals for her! Lazy twat. Just hand her a pinny and tell her to feel free to take a turn if she dislikes takeaway so much.

Swipe left for the next trending thread