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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be p@&ed off with my dh when I read this message to his mate

122 replies

Penny1976 · 28/09/2011 19:57

I never poke about in his emails but he sent this via facebook to a friend who is a shared friend who is expecting a baby and when the friend replied it came into our shared email folder as well as to his facebook and I read it to see if the baby had been born.

And there was his mate's reply to this little jem from my DH:

Hi how you doing im at home on my own chillin , XXX at the pictures andthe kids in bed.arrival.went out with D and C last night into xxx,mad night though i wasnt pissed ....sat at the table this young pissed girl, not that fit sat down and started moaning about her boyfriend in a party upstairs of the pub,cut along story short ,without any leading on said to me you have big balls come back to my hotel and let me see them,it ended up she wanted to take me daz and craig at the same time , then she left the pub at the end of the night, f&^%

I am really cross about it, he says nothing happened and I have no right to be.

Any thoughts guys? I am heavily pregnant myself so may be slightly over sensitive at the mo?

I have posted this under a new identity so no-one realises who I am by the way.

OP posts:
Dirtydishesmakemesad · 28/09/2011 20:00

It sounds like something he might have made up tbh! if it wasnt he meets some very strange women...
I would ignore it even if it was true he didnt do anything and he cant control what people say to him.

Vallhala · 28/09/2011 20:01

Your DH didn' take her up on her subtle offer, no?

So what's to be pissed off about?

Original poster
Penny1976 · 28/09/2011 20:03

I know, spoke to my my brother about it and he said it's just the way blokes speak to each other - I think reading it makes me think how stupid he is but like I said, I am ready to drop baby so doubtless a little oversensitive at mo.

thanks guys xx

OP posts:
kelly2000 · 28/09/2011 20:04

Was the email from your DH? Sounds rather charmless to be honest, and a rather unpleaant way to speak about a girl he admits was young, and drunk. I would be made to find my DH spoke like that regardless of whether anything happened.

SoupDragon · 28/09/2011 20:05

You're pissed off that he did not go off with this girl?? Confused

ThatsNotMyBabyBelly · 28/09/2011 20:05

Hmmm I sense a little artistic licence there I think.

I wouldn't worry

Allboxedin · 28/09/2011 20:05

They both sound like they need to grow up and grow some balls. No wonder some kids are the way they are with guys talking like this for role models!

cjbartlett · 28/09/2011 20:06

am I the only one who doesn't understand a word of it?!?

troisgarcons · 28/09/2011 20:06

Hey, Lady! he came home to you - why would he eat a burger when he has steak at home? he got offered it on a plate and he pushed it away because he loves YOU!

Allboxedin · 28/09/2011 20:07

Its the way 'some' blokes speaks to each other, not all! I'd be pissed off tbh if my DH went about speaking (and writing) stuff like that, even if it is a load of crap.

planetpotty · 28/09/2011 20:07

It would still upset me to read my DH talking like that but TBH I think its only the "not that fit bit"...... But it sounds like to me he is saying how shocking what she did was and not bragging about it - more poking fun at her.

I work in a very male dominated trade and the way men talk (good men, who are lovely to thier wives) to each other, its all bravado and chest puffing. Then ten mins later they will talk to me about it in a completely different (human) way. What im saying is you may have read it and felt upset but underneath this could be just how him and his matres gossip.

Dont worry, but I would talk to DH about it calmly and let him know why it has hurt you, be totally honest.

FWIW it does not sound to me like anything untoward happened here. Hope you feel better soon, and DH does a bit of creeping - months worth of foot rubs should do it :)

JLK2 · 28/09/2011 20:08

I really wouldn't worry about it.

mousesma · 28/09/2011 20:09

Yes it's a bit coarse in content but thats just how men speakto each other sometimes.
He didn't do anything so you really have no reason to be angry or upset.

bibbitybobbityhat · 28/09/2011 20:10

I would think I was married to a bit of a wanker tbh.

ThePathanKhansWoman · 28/09/2011 20:11

Sorry you were upset, i think i would be as well. Hope it all resolves well.

Can i say, childbirth is nothing like dropping a baby honest.

Original poster
Penny1976 · 28/09/2011 20:12

Aaaah thanks guys - he is a good dad to our boys honestly, and he does say that he was poking fun at her like PP says. I was just shocked to read it - sometimes his standards fall short of mine and I agree that he needs to grow up.

OP posts:
Original poster
Penny1976 · 28/09/2011 20:13

Oh and I've had 2 babies already so yes, quite right, not really a drop although one of them did sort of jet propel himself out!! (the 2nd)

OP posts:
planetpotty · 28/09/2011 20:14

Boys will be boys....ahhhh its not thier fault Wink

Glad you feel better :)

birdsofshoreandsea · 28/09/2011 20:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Penny1976 · 28/09/2011 20:18

Birds - that was actually what I was cross about because I read it like that myself. Knowing the 2 guys he was with, nothing would have happened, but I still feel disappointed. He says that they left the pub because she was hassling them, so maybe that was for the benefit of the friend.

OP posts:
ThePathanKhansWoman · 28/09/2011 20:19

Blush Sorry Penny1978 i'm a proper crude old duck, but that expression makes my teeth itch. Didn't mean to sound preachy. I have a friend who has supersonic births and she goes into massive shock afterwards.

Good luck with the baby Smile

Original poster
Penny1976 · 28/09/2011 20:21

Didn't sound preachy at all, thanks am possibly a bit too excited about the baby to concentrate on anything else at the moment - possibly in a world of my own.

OP posts:
wellwisher · 28/09/2011 22:15

it ended up she wanted to take me daz and craig at the same time

Yeah, because young girls make that sorts of offer to older drunk guys in pubs ALL THE TIME, don't they?

Hmm
AnyFucker · 28/09/2011 22:47

What would I think ?

I would think he must have had a lobotomy in his lunch break

I would think I had inadvertently married a twat who hates women

I would think he is acting like a juvenile teenager

I would re-consider my good opinion of him

What else do you want to know ?

FabbyChic · 28/09/2011 22:47

Men act totally differently with their friends to how they behave with us, they talk about different things, have their own language, personally I'd feel nothing about this message at all.

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