To wonder why anyone with school-aged children would want to be a SAHM?

[Badtasteflump]

And what they do all day?

I have my flame-proof hard-hat ready

In the spirit of the general shit-stirring on here today I though I would ask this - as I do really wonder. Fair enough when you have pre-school aged children, I can understand wanting to be a SAHM. But once your children are at school full-time, what is there to do all day?

I work PT (school hours, basically). I manage (jointly with DH) to get all the housework, cooking, diy, etc) done in the evenings & weekends, no problem. If I were at home all day I really think I would go a bit mad - either that or I fear I would gradually become relegated to the role of house-slave, doing all the housework and childcare myself because I wouldn't have the excuse of a 'proper' job. . .

Oh for fks sake, either RitaMorgan and SarahStratton have not read my post at 21.24 or they are being deliberately provocative. I can't decide which.

Nah, not in this house they don't SM. They think housework is for cleaners and pissfarting is for mummies.

i thought we established this page sago

I am not dependant upon anybody for anything. Just wanted to make that perfectly clear.

sarahstratton I am genuinely curious re that! Are you independently wealthy? Do you really not need your dh's wage?!

Personally I can see Sm 's argument about role model

My mum never worked and had three daughters, we've all been quite bitter about having to work as yes we did assume that mothers didn't work

People without careers are more likely to have children who don't work too

"Darling when you grow up you can learn how to pissfart just like me."

Genius.

I think my DS will be a grounded, balanced and educated man. He will have had a lot of experinces in life and he will feel loved and valued. Therefore, i think he will have a lot to draw on when forming his views of life. a lot of this will be down to the fact that i havent worked.

OK, try again. I had not worked for several months, I had savings so I had no need to ask dh for any money. He kept going on about getting a joint account so I could get cash when I wanted, but I kept putting it off because I had a bit of cash put aside. Unfortunately, something happened which meant I was left with little money, I had no choice to ask him for a bit of cash.

After this, he insisted that we get down back pronto to set up a joint account as he did not want me embarrassed again and that his money was mine.

No wamster, no one is misinterpreting what you say.

At 21.24 you said, " My money ran out" and therefore you had to ask your husband to buy you tampons.

If you are in a marriage where your husband keeps his money ( or a wife keeps hers)and you need to work in order to have any, then you are in a dysfunctional relationship. For richer, for poorer, it's even enshrined in the marriage vows.

I have never, ever asked my DH for money.
If I ever had to, I'd be fucking worried.

Things do seem to follow in families
Like if your mum lives near you, never went to uni and helps you out with childcare then your children tend to stay near where you live, not go to uni or have a careers and expect you to look after your kids

I've seen it somany times

christ lets roll out the sweeping generalisations

cjbartlett you should write a book, your insights into class, family and culture are extraordinary!

we have separate monies.both individual salaries
joint for kids,utilities etc
was big mn thread on this individual mones and loads of folks do it.nit dysfunctional

but of course if you dont work and have no independent means you're definitely going to assert shared money.given you depend upon the salaried partner sharing what they earn with you

Um, I may be alone here, but money stuff aside, it wouldn't bother me a jot having to ask DH to pick up some tampons for me.
That smacks of 1940 more than baking cakes does to me.

Rubbish, my mother worked, I don't and many of my friends who are very successful had SAHMs......

Pissfarterleech, My money ran out because of an unforeseen incident that I had not thought of. Which part of that don't you get? My dh had been going on about setting up a joint account for ages. It was me that did not want it, not him.
After the tampon incident, he insisted we had a joint account because he did not want me to be asking him for money. I was trying to cling onto my independence by not having one.

I don't really care what the marriage vows say, anyway, I still think a sahm who se kids are at school all day and has no discernible role as a carer is wasting her time and putting herself in a very precarious situation. So I don't need a lecture from somebody who is doing just that.
And like it or not, the default position is that unless she is independently wealthy her dh is buying her tampons every month. She certainly hasn't earned the money if all she does is a bit of housework every day.

I am a mum of 3 working full time through financial necessity, not because I want to. I can think of nothing better than staying at home, but its not an option. What I would like to ask SAHMs is whether their DH / DPs mind them continuing to stay at home once the DCs are in school full time? I agree with many that life can be very fulfilling as a SAHM, but don't the Dads ever question the balance when one partner is at home baking / gardening / volunteering / reading etc. when they are slaving away at the coal face? How is that fair?

Oh we have separate money too SM. Joint and separate. It's not dysfunctional to have separate equal pots .It is dysfunctional to have to ask for money.

Ha

It stands to reason if you are part of a family where the last three generations were doctors it's likely that you too will want to study medicine

Come off it guys we all know families like this

I'm not saying it always happens!

good we can add money grabbing to the list. Ahhhh that should fill my day nicely now, I knew i was missing something. I better be careful i am in danger of not having enough time to pissfart about

Being lectured by women whose dh/dp's really do (unless they have their own money, of course) buy their tampons every month. That's really **ing rich, I must say.

wamster.

Whatever you say, chick.

strange i dont see that list of jobs I had asked for

No, I've already explained further up. I was invalided out of work as I was very ill shortly after I had DD2. I receive a pension from the company I worked for and live off of that. I receive the absolute minimum amount of maintenance possible from my XH, and it's just me and the DDs, no partner.