To wonder why anyone with school-aged children would want to be a SAHM?

[Badtasteflump]

And what they do all day?

I have my flame-proof hard-hat ready

In the spirit of the general shit-stirring on here today I though I would ask this - as I do really wonder. Fair enough when you have pre-school aged children, I can understand wanting to be a SAHM. But once your children are at school full-time, what is there to do all day?

I work PT (school hours, basically). I manage (jointly with DH) to get all the housework, cooking, diy, etc) done in the evenings & weekends, no problem. If I were at home all day I really think I would go a bit mad - either that or I fear I would gradually become relegated to the role of house-slave, doing all the housework and childcare myself because I wouldn't have the excuse of a 'proper' job. . .

I don't mind you asking

I stay at home all day because Im a childminder.....
so there

What job do you do, Badtasteflump?

At this moment in time I dont want to go back to work. I really enjoy being around to pick DS up form school, I was a full time working Mum when DS1 little.

I did sort of promise myself to get the house into shape when DS2 started school but the day just seems to fly. In reality the first half hour after I've got home after the school run is spent trying to get my breath back after cycling for half an hour . It seem to go downhill form there.

I may go back to work at some point, but I know when I looked into it last year finding care for the time between Christmas and New Year was impossible

I'm not costing anyone to be at home so its my choice to make

I have posted what I do before badtasteflump but then on these threads that gets seized upon as justifying.

I guess my question would be why do you need to work to prevent boredom?

If you won £5,000,000 would you still work for fear of boredom?

I do essentially whatever I fancy. I have necessary tasks like most people after that I can do what I chose to do in my own time.

I have a tedious home life

I expect when you pack the youngest off to school the world opens up a bit more in terms of what you can commit to. ATM I am a slave to a 10MO and a DS who is PT at school.

I can only imagine the joy of setting my own timetable :)

All day to myself is fantastic! Lots of time to:

• cook amazing and time-consuming food, learn to cook new stuff, eg Indian, shop for hard-to-get items, shop for bargains, find new butchers/delis
• research forthcoming holidays indepth, plan an itinerary, check out restaurants, shops, child-friendly places, playgrounds
• clear out the stuff in your attic/garage and ebay it or freecycle it
• have a crafting-type hobby, eg cross-stitch, card-making, sewing
• read all the books on your 'to-read' shelf, or on your bookgroup list
• volunteer for PTA and spend time doing stuff for your school
• join an online community and meet great new friends all over the world who share your interests (eg political/music/hobby forum)
• write a novel/short story/blog and get your feelings out
• sort out all the photos you have scattered around, get them printed, fill albums, put them online, etc
• watch all the films you think you 'ought' to see, all the classics, or boxset DVDs
• long baths with nice bubble bath, a book, some music, and lots of refills!
• bike rides in the country
• coffees with friends
• window shopping and browsing with no time constraint

Cleaning? not if I can help it! I am far too busy

Some people cannot find a school hours-term time job.

Some people are doing more than you know about .

For instance some people might think I'm a sahm with school age children, but actually I work p/t and am studying with the OU.

If you are at work how come you are mning?

I don't mind anyone asking.

I do mind someone who possibly has a pretty tedious, boring and low paid job sneering at SAHM by making out that they would , " Simply just go mad!!" being a SAH.

Which is why I am dying to know what job the OP does.

If you can afford it then why not eh? I'd bloody love to do that, I expect it'd be quite rewarding especially if you did voluntary work. I remember if my Mum had a day off work when I was little then she could take me to school and pick me up (big treat), and when I got home the house would be clean and tidy and welcoming, and there would be something nice in the oven for my tea because she'd had the time to do it. I felt so safe and loved on those days, I pray for the fortune to be able to do that for my DS when the time comes, I really do.

Well at risk of outing myself, I am a partner in a business I started with a friend about 10 years ago. Used to be FT but dropped some hours after having the DC, so we now also have an assistant working with us as well.

Now I want to be Jilly.

jillysnooper see I have all that too, but must admit that when I did a very short stint as a SAHM I was bored. I shocked myself actually at how bored I was...

perhaps bored is the wrong word. Unfullfilled perhaps is better.

I relaise that although I loved my kids/dogs/horse/voluntary work etc I still needed somehting of my own to create and be successfu at. Not an office job, or a position as such. I actually didn't miss that very much. But I needed something. Odd really.

I have plenty of friends for who the cost of childcare outstrips pay and/or pay and benefits.

Term-time work is hard to find.

I have teens and I work part-time. I don't need any childcare as they are old enough to cook the dinner etc themselves and be alone in the holidays. I have always worked - sometimes full-time - and it is a bloody nightmare getting someone to have your children on an ad-hoc, random basis.

For many it is probably just not worth doing.

@ auntiemonica knew there was something else I could be doing with all my spare time lol

I think people are angry because your implication is that it is sad/wrong to be a SAHM.Each to their own.It wouldn't be for me.

Wordfactory, I have a couple of liveries at my yard so that takes up any slack I might have!

Because i am lucky we can afford for me to SAH.

I don't take it for granted and love every minute, Thanks

Third week of the school year - so far we have had 1 inset day for each child; one child sent home unwell; both children off unwell another day.

My old job had an hour each way commute and often overnight stays away from home etc and DHs job has similar demands - getting childcare in place to meet this would need a nanny whose salary would eat into any gain that my salary would bring.

I don't actually have a tedious, boring and low paid job. I love my job and am proud of what I've built up. And I wasn't sneering.

Why are you struggling to think of what a SAHM might do when her children are at school? Do you not do/want to do anything that doesn't involve your children or work?

There's loads of stuff to do, some of it necessary, some of it fun.

I can understand people loving their job. Loving the pride that one gets in having a career. Wanting to be financially independent and that is their means of doing so. Enjoying the social ineraction in going to a place of work.

I can understand all of those things but none of them are things I need.

I've often wondered this myself, dh (who was working from home the other day) had to tell me to sit down and read the paper and relax after I came back from dropping ds at pre-school, and dd was at my mum's for the morning. I was wandering around trying to find things to do. I think I'd drive myself up the wall constantly arranging cupboards etc.

That said, if we were much richer I would love to be able to be home all day. I'd cook much much more. We'd always have homemade bread and biscuits. And a proper home cooked meal (as opposed to something chucked in the slow cooker) I'd get a dog and do a good long walk every day. I'd take up photography again, and maybe do a gardening course.

We'd need a lottery win though, I'd only do it if I could spend without a conscience.

That said I do work very very very part time - few hours a week to fit in around the DCs but realise that I am very fortunate to be able to do that.