or is it a bit cheeky to ask people who are only invited to your evening do to contribute towards your honeymoon?

[Smellyanne]

and if IABU how much is acceptable to give?

We had the same, mickey, bought them a present off the list, and now can't go. AIBU to ask for it back [joke]?

why is it rude? its their wedding, its about THEM.

If THEY would like to state a preference for something THEY really want, and presumably YOU like THEM, why on earth wouldnt you?

'The bride started getting really arsey with me when i didn't buy anything and in the lead up to the wedding kept texting me saying "Can you choose which gift you are buying us ASAP" so we didn't go to the wedding.'

Yeah, I'd definitely have declined that.

You are wrong, WiiUnfit - Sansa is not old fashioned, she is well-mannered.

whats well mannered about not getting the bride and groom something they really would like, rather than shit they dont want but will pretend to like just to save the giftees embrassment.

'SansaLannister you're not old-fashioned, by the sounds of things you're a hard-faced tight-wadded prude m'dear. '

I'd expect such an abusive response from someone with no manners. Don't agree with someone, so get personally abusive to them. Classy.

I think it is very cheeky to ask full stop. People should give what they want and it should only be mentioned if they ask. I don't give money.

why is it rude? its their wedding, its about THEM.

I don't think that I would want to go with that attitude. It is the thought that counts-not 'IT IS ABOUT US AND WE WANT!'

If they want a holiday they pay for it.

Sansa, you have made many comments about how 'tacky' .etc people are for giving their guest (that they have paid for to attend let's remember) an option to give a gift & even for getting married anywhere other than a registry office when they have children already. That in itself shows that you have no manners & are extremely judgemental.

when we get wed we dont want presents or cash, we're doing it for us and our kids and mums people are getting told this and if they want to buy something - make it a wee something for the wee ones instead.

Yes, it's an opinion and wasn't addressed to any one in particular. By contrast, you immediately insulted me personally by name because you disagree with that opinion. How it means I have no manners is your personal interpretation of that opinion, but it contradicts the talk guidelines here to become personally abusive to someone, call them names personally, because you disagree with them. And it says more about you than me.

IMO, of course.

It's true, though, when it's It's about ME and MY DAY people, you can tell by the invite, decline and get them nothing.

ask guests pay for honeymoon?that is graspy and bad taste
and no i wouldnt feel compelled to do so either.

WiiUnfit - your post above contains personal abuse which is against MN guidelines and could be (and may be reported). Sansa's post is opinion. You may disagree with that opinion, but insulting Sansa does not (IMO) assist with making your argument appear effective.

no, you are right.

it is more about THEY are MY friends and I want to get THEM something THEY want, regardless of how I see it as it is for THEM.

talk about bad manners, theres more bad manners is specifically not giving them something they want (or like, or wish for if you are too delicate for the word want, (not you personally fruit) just because they bloody asked for it!

Report me if you so wish to, I only expressed my opinion & if I get a slap on the wrist then so be it but Sansa's posts expressed many generalised & downright rude comments.

It's a little "I'm gonna tell on you..." though.

Besides, my post wasn't to back up my argument in any way. I just thought she was being rather rude.

she was, in the nastiest possible way aswell.

still people can read!

I'm not going to report your post - I don't really like all the post deletion that's going on at the moment. But I do think reasoned debate is easier when the talk guidelines are basically stuck to. I love the fact that MN is foul mouthed and argumentative but I think it works best when people avoid personal insults.
I did, however, report a really, really vile post this morning which was deleted so I'm glad the option is there!

Ah well, her comments got me rather annoyed.

[Awaits email from MNHQ] [RebelEmoticon]

Love above post was aimed at knittedbreast. I reported a post that simply said 'cunt' the other day, I was fairly as it was completely unprovoked.

Thanks for clarifying, WiiFit. I reported a really hideous and unfounded accusation of trolling on a berevement thread... some people are just vile.

Personally (and I realise this might be a minority view) I think any mention of wedding list/gift request within the invite is vulgar. The purpose of a wedding is not to accumulate gifts/money so it shouldn't be mentioned. But I don't have a problem with telling people who call to ask what they can give, where a wedding list is held, or that honeymoon donations are welcome.