or is it a bit cheeky to ask people who are only invited to your evening do to contribute towards your honeymoon?

[Smellyanne]

and if IABU how much is acceptable to give?

I got invited to the evening do of an old schoolfriend once. I was a bit miffed that some of our group were invited to the posh bit in the marquee, and didn't want to buy outfit, get present, travel 180 miles etc. just for a sausage roll and a glass of cheap fizz. I was saved, they had a massive falling out and the whole thing was cancelled.

carocaro, your post made me laugh like a drain :o

I haven't read the thread but tbh you have already told the people whob are only important enough to go to the evening do that they are second class citizens in your eyes. Why not be more excepotuionally discourteous on toip and ask them for money as well. So you thgink your friends can swallow beinbg categorised as less important to you than other friends and they will pay for your honeymoon too. Very important people are generally not very very rude. Gosh you think you're special don't you.

Oh, higgle, why were you saved? I'd have just declined that asap. Too far, for one.

And yy, carocaro, nail hitting head in that post (titter).

Just to clarify my earlier post: I think it's rude to ask the B listers (evening guests) for money. Only guests who are invited to the whole wedding (ie close family and friends) should be expected to give anything. And even then it's rude for the couple to ask upfront, but most people will want to tgive them something anyway.

If I was going just for the evening as a singleton £10, the full day £20- sorted. That's what I would spend on the present so personally I don't mind giving money for a honeymoon if it's what they really want.

"Please make your own way from the church to the reception"? Is it considered off to expect this? I never knew that. I'm more uncouth than I thought.

I feel very stressed now. I'm getting married in a fortnight and haven't got a wedding list as DFiance and I just want to 'be' married and have our friends and family there.
However, we have had about 100 people asking us what present we'd like and when we say "nothing" they say "oh we can't bring nothing".
We already live together and have an 18 month old DD so we don't need house stuff. We'd love to go on honeymoon but as the wedding is in term-time I am working. We've suggested a contribution to a holiday for another time but now I'm worried we're vulgar! I feel like I can't win!

Most people want to make their own way - so that their cars end up at the reception venue for when it is time to leave.

After speaking to my guests, I hired a minibus to transport the few that were arriving by train etc. I think we had about 8 people. In the end most of them made their own way to the reception, leaving the minibus with only 2 people on it and me wishing they'd let me know so I could have booked a taxi instead.

For our wedding we didn't send out lists. If people asked (which 99% did) my mum said bubbly vouchers. We didn't have a toaster though so somebody bought us one, I was so pleased
Oh and a couple of close friends gave us some money so we could buy a few more wedding photos, that was lovely (they offered)

This thread is hilarious. I don't know how some of you make it through the day without exploding. Your poor little selves must be permanently offended. It's laughable how you can criticise others so readily for being selfish yet at the same time making it all about you. Hysterical!

I have attended weddings without a gift at the couple's request. When we get married we don't want gifts and fully expect not to get them. If people say we would really like to get you something, I will smile and say we don't need anything. I don't understand how people can be forced into receiving money.

Vizzini don't feel stressed, I'm sure your guests will not mind giving some money and they won't think it is vulgar. Most of what is said on here isn't really people's actual RL reaction, they arent going to turn up and snub you or scream and shout at you as they put a tenner in a card although the way some posts have been worded..... At the worst they'll probably think 'oh that's not very traditional' but I'm sure they actually won't give a damn, they'll just be excited to see you in your dress and enjoy being part of your day :)

I wouldn't worry Vizzini-yours is very different-you already asked for nothing. It is the ones with irritating poems at the start which are designed to hide the fact they are being very grasping that annoy me.

Sansa, I can think of plenty of people whose evening do's I would like to attend without attending the whole day IYSWIM? People like work colleagues I'm not particularly close with, neighbours .etc.

In the same respect, there will be people who probably won't be invited to the day because we simply won't have the space but we would still like their company in the evening, again - colleagues, neighbours .etc. Surely you had people who fit into this category too?