to complain to a restaurant about their handling of a flasher??????

[CocktailQueen]

Out for dinner with my sister Saturday eve. Nice restaurant. Group of fairly pissed men at bar (bar separate from restaurant but visible). One of the men takes down his trousers, flashes his bum then turns round and flashes his willy at everyone in restaurant .

There were a couple of older children in restaurant -it was about 8.30. I called our waitress over, said 'that bloke has just flashed at everyone' and she went off to speak to bar 'manager' who proceeded to hover around the man, but not actually talking to him/remonstrating with him, ineffectually trying to get him out of the door for about the next 20 minutes.

He came over to me and sis after our main course to apologise - another table was very cross and he had been over to them to placate them - I said we were shocked and blah blah, he said 'oh, it wasn't very nice for me either' - wtf??? 'It's your job to deal with him!' I told him. And 'oh, there was no point ringing the police, they wouldn't come' (???)

Couple at other table going to ring police and complain officially.

WWYD? AIBU to expect flashers to be dealt with immediately and severely, not placated and choose to leave public place in their own time????

inured

thanks hully - it was a 50/50 guess!

welcome

If we weren't so repressed as a nation, maybe it would be different.

In other countries, it's really normal to see other people naked. I wonder if a prank like this would cause as much outrage in other European countries.

Bupcakes,
Have never even heard of ibiziauncovered.
I have however lived a huge part of my life outside the UK, and when walking down the street in many EU cities if you see a group of drunken men shouting and yawping 70% of the time they will be British, I have heard (and said it myself), plenty of people commenting that they bet they are british when seeing drunken people behaving like that, I have seen plenty of signs in eastern european bars saying "no drunk British" and have seen British men shocked to be being escorted out of bars by police or bouncers for groping women and I know that the police have palpitations when there is a british team playing a football match in their town. I think the difference is often how this behaviour is tolerated and accepted in Britain as just a bit of fun, and the ages of the people doing it. In many countries getting drunk like this is a stupid teenager thing, whereas in Britain you get people in their fifties thinking getting drunk in public is acceptable, and plenty of people actually planning to get drunk at the weekend rather than getting into a state beign a stupid mistake.

Whatme- it's totally different for a woman doing something like that - there is much less of a latent threat than if a man were to do it. Men and women are not just reversible

There is a "latent threat" from a drunk fool flashing his willy for a few seconds, but women flashing their bits are Totally Different?

Okaaaay [reverses away very slowly emoticon....]

Olifin - people would be strung up in other countries.

If we were less 'repressed' there wouldn't be an urge to do this sort of thing.

Of course it bloody would. I think you'll find most European countries are decidedly less tolerant of drunken behaviour than here. Have you seen the way they treat football fans, they get a night in the cells for having a football top on in the wrong bar in some countries whether they've done anything or not. Not that I'm saying it's a good thing. But the restaurant should have considered the feelings of the majority of other customers above one drunken wanker.

It's not about nudity, it's about a sexual act AFAIC.

Olifin,
It would cause far more outrage. People do not mind seeing naked people in changing rooms and on beaches, or topless in pools etc but this idea that foreigners accept flashing as they are not repressed is untrue. Someone behaving like this nearly anywhere else in Europe would have found themselves in the cells, and in court. It certainly wopuld not be considered to be a harmless prank to commit indecent exposure in a restuarant where there are children.

Is getting drunk in public not acceptable, Kelly?

They should have instantly ejected him, and made his mates pay up and go, with the threat of the police if they were funny about it.

Also think about the waiting staff - why should they have to put up with sexual harrassment? I used to work in a restaurant when I was doing my A-Levels and while most customers were ok, a few would think they were in a brothel after a few pints.

whatme - keep on reversing by all means.

Is getting drunk in public not acceptable, Kelly?

I've been drunk in public on numerous occasions without getting parts of my body out, being violent, rude or anti-social. Drunk without the disorderly.

If we were less 'repressed' there wouldn't be an urge to do this sort of thing

If we were less repressed we wouldn't have a horde of women claiming this was a "sexual act" more like.... have none of you really ever flashed your bits drunkenly, or streaked or something?

If you had, you'd know it's got nothing to do with sex, its got to do with being drunk and a twat and being mortified when you sober up.

Well, so I have I, insomnia! I was just wondering about Kelly's distaste at people in their fifties going out and getting drunk in public like my dad does after the bloody rugby.

whatme,
Yes if a woman indecently exposed herself she should have been arrested too.
Olifin,
Indecent exposure is a crime. If people find nudity funny, then they can get their friends around and stand there naked laughing togther at how silly their vagina and penises look. Do not indecently exposure themselves to other people just because they get pleasure from the amusement of exposing themselves. The whole nudity is funny thing is just immature, what would you do in a changing room stand there laughing until you got chucked out

No Caymansbound I just work in a regular bar not a lapdancing one and I also said I have seen women behaving just as badly but not however in the bar i work at! In a nutshell I don't think its a big drama - not particularly a nice thing to see when your eating but hardly the crime of the century.

sorry Whatme - some people have standards.

Insomnia11 if they'd stormed in all guns blazing there is a very good chance that flasherman and his mate would've kicked off.

The scene would've been even less pretty than it was, basically.

have none of you really ever flashed your bits drunkenly, or streaked or something?

I have streaked for a laugh, among a group of friends when we were camping (far enough away for no-one else to see) as we all did it, and skinny-dipped again, not in a place which was full of the general public.

A bit different from standing up in a restaurant where people are trying to have a meal and getting your bits out.

Have some class.

Nope Whatme, never flashed or streaked.
I think most people probably haven't, you know.

Totally agree whatmeworry. Sexual act indeed. Drunken idiocy more like. Being naked is not a sexual act. It's just a body...there's nothing shocking about genitals is there? I mean, we've all got them.

Hasten to add that an adult soberly exposing themselves to someone with the deliberate intention of causing upset or alarm is a different matter.

Pan - people would certainly not be 'strung up' in Scandinavia if they did something like this.

In front of children is where the line was crossed for me. If it was a pub/ adult environment I'd put it down to a fool with hijinks but not in front of children, the filthy digusting pig, drunk or not. Not in front of kids and his mates are as thick for not pulling him up on it.

I don't particularly like the "would you all be so offended if it was a woman flashing?" argument, even though I am one of the ones that would have just shrugged it off as the bloke being a knuckle-dragging twatbag.

It's that you don't want stranger's bodily parts shoved in your face on a night out that is the issue, I think. I don't think it would make a difference if it were a winkler or a fanjo. Just yeah, keep your bits in, whatever your gender.

if they'd stormed in all guns blazing there is a very good chance that flasherman and his mate would've kicked off.

Yes they might. That's why you start off politely and firmly asking someone to leave. All guns blazing is a last resort.