...to be cross with this doctor's presence during the birth?

[chickenchops]

Really not sure if i am or not.

I was induced and three hours later given an epidural by the on call anaesthetist. I didn't really like him. He was cross I was skipping the peth injection, got very cross with me when i moved slightly when he stuck me in the back with a needle (without warning), was just overall very abrupt and rude. Oh well i thought... I will never have to see him again.

My labour stalled and I got exhausted. Cue OB coming with ventouse. Just after she arrived, so did the anaesthetist.

He did not speak to me. He did not check any equipment. He did ask midwife if she had to use any boosters. (yes she said. one. although she did not disclose that i was finding the epidural less and less effective and had put me back on gas and air after 2 hours it was sited). the OB got her kit out and got between my legs. Anaesthetist then took position just to her right to watch the birth.

No one explained why he was there. he did not tell me. he made a few inappropriate comments i could have done without and then just well, watched.

Several things went wrong with my birth/aftercare. I ended up writing a letter to the hospital pointing out some aspects of my care that really were wrong and also mentioned that I was quite unhappy that this guy just showed up and hung out between my legs. they were quite surprised I was unhappy about this as "but chicken chops, he's a doctor". I wound up in a meeting with them this week and again expressed how distasteful i found this. they were again gobsmacked and said no one had ever complained before as most women simply don't mind.

really?

I'm not british and grew up in a strict evangelical christian household. I am wondering if i am being precious about my dignity to due how i was raised? Or, would you have found this offensive too?

for the record, the story has changed several times as to why he was there but no one disagrees that while he was there he did nothing.

so... aibu?

As the OP had an epidural in situ then there would already have been iv access. The obstetrician is the only one who needs to be down the business end in a ventouse and they're quite capable of deciding if there is a pph and if so what needs doing. I have never seen an anaesthetist down the business end so really not sure why he needed to be there.

Batsupmenightie, I don't think anyone had said this dr was there to look up the OPs chuff. I think it's more likely that he was just interested from a medical pov as to what was happening. But like others have said if there is no need for someone to be staring at your chuff then they shouldn't be unless they've asked nicely and been told it's ok.

That sounds really unprofessional and inappropriate to me.

I do not know if it's usual or not to have an anaesthetist at an assisted delivery. As I said, I had a very poorly managed assisted delivery (failed ventouse, successful forceps, extensive episiotomy) and not an anaesthetist in sight after the initial epidural some 10 hours earler - I know my birth was handled poorly but have never had any reason to believe that the anaesthetist should have been present for the birth.

What I do know is that a paediatrician was paged when they realised that they were going to have to manually evacuate the baby because she was distressed. Still there was no mention, ever, of having to get an anaesthestist back in the room. I have no idea what is routine, and what is not. It could be entirely possible that in my case there was an emergency in the hospital that required the anaesthatists presence elsewhere.

And as for the bin laden comment That is truly bad.

Sorry for you x

"As doctors work long hours attending various emergencies, it will be impossible to remember who called and what for."

Surely that's what notes are taken for? I definitely don't think it's enough to say 'I was busy and tired' when people's health and safety is involved?

YANBU to expect to be treated with respect and dignity. He didn't treat you with respect. Not even looking at you or introducing himself is very poor. Don't be put off by people saying oh it's childbirth get over it. I'm British, not Christian but just particular about who sees me naked - second item on my birthing plan (after how to pronounce my name because I'm abroad) is that I wish to be covered unless I state otherwise.

So you had midwifes, an OB and an anaestheatist present for your birth just in case anything went wrong and your unhappy becasue maybe one extra person saw your modesty? YABVVVU.

Some women who do need specialist care get nothing and end up damaged as a result. TBH modesty goes out the window during pregnancy and birth and perhaps you should pay for an elective CS next time to rpeserve your modesty if you feel that way.

I wonder if you will still feel deeply offended and upset on your child's 18th Birthday? You're fine, your baby is fine, get over it.

There is a degree of confusion on this thread.

In some of the hospitals I have worked in it is routine for the anaesthetist to be called and to be present when instrumental deliveries are taking place in LW rooms (ie even if not in theatre) and the woman delivering has an epidural in place. This is so that we can give additional analgesia if required.

If I am called in such a situation. I do sometimes venture down to the "business" end as you can gauge how much longer things are going to go on for and whether the obstetricians are going to suddenly bail for theatre or to prompt them to put in some local if the epidural isn't cutting the mustard adequately.

I would be upset if someone thought I was just doing it for kicks.

What A1980 said.

Agree with A1980 - I had every indignity thrown at me when ds was born.

7 weeks in hospital due to pre eclampsia

3 days of inducing

24 hour labour

failed ventuese ending up in theatre for emergency cs if forceps failed. Thankfully they didn't, but poor ds was born with a cone shape head and a black eye.
It was a long hard time for the all of us

He was 16 last week, and who was in the room and when is a long and distant memory, but we have a gorgeous ds who was worth every minute of it.

Just remember that what is fine and not an issue for one may be deeply offensive to another.

Throwing in 'all that matters is a healthy baby' type comments are patronising and lack empathy.

She asked AIBU. Well, IMO, yes. She asked if you'd have found his watching the birth offensive. No. Because it appears most women don't mind.

I have been present for several normal and assisted deliveries in labour rooms. Sometimes I am there in case the epidural needs topping up during the procedure, sometimes I am there because I've only just established the block and suddenly there is a head on the perineum, sometimes I am there because there is the potential to need to transfer from LW to theatre in a hurry, sometimes because in an emergency you need skilled hands for additional IV access, airway skills, resus skills.

VLB - one IV established for an epidural isn't going to be sufficient for a major obstetric haemorrhage. It's possibly also too small anyway (midwives where I have worked had an annoying habit of putting in 18g which are no use to anyone giving birth).

I often observe the delivery end as that's where the bleeding is coming from and while everyone else is juggling suction cups, foetal heart monitors and the like I tend to be watching the blood loss with a finger on the maternal pulse.

There are any number of good clinical reasons to have an anaesthetist in the room during a delivery and trust me, none of us would be doing it because we felt like watching a birth. We all have to deliver 10 babies before we qualify as doctors and we all see enough of labour ward during training without wanting to spend additional time there for fun.

I had anaesthetists at both my instrumental births. For the forceps one, he was at the business end, but then, so were four students the consultant had selected herself and asked if they could be present because, well, docs have to learn somewhere and I didn't mind their learning something that could one day save a mother and baby's life from me.

For the ventouse, he was at my head because baby just needed lift out as he had cord wrapped round him.

So two paeds were there, including a male one.

Male consultant, too. Needed stitches.

Just glad they all did their jobs brilliantly. We are all fine and healthy with no lasting effects. :)

There was at least one paed at hte forceps birth, too, but tbh, I didn't really care by that point. I was exhausted, she was my first baby, I'm an older mother, had high blood pressure (needed a boost of some other drug at both deliveries when epi failed to lower the bp) and it turns out she was malpresented with her hand up cupping her head about the ear. I was too afraid she would die. I just wanted people to help me get her out.

she has come out of it with a healthy baby, why dwell on the bad when there was such a positive outcome. The lady in the next bed to me also had pre eclampsia and her baby died, also one of my nct class had a full term stillborn baby. That put the whole of my fairly traumatic 7 weeks into perspective for me.

SansaLannister "She asked if you'd have found his watching the birth offensive. No. Because it appears most women don't mind."

Your evidence for this is?

What anyone else would feel is irrelevant really. It's how you feel that matters. Also you don't seem to have been given an adequate reason for his being there, instead the reason for his being there seems to be changed each time you've asked

If it was necessary for him to be there then he should have explained to you why he was there. YANBU

A1980 The OP was not fine, she had a bad birth experience and a big haemmorage. She hasn't said whether or not she and the baby were/are now fine. Your post is harsh.

It sounds like the main problem was this particular doctor's behaviour, rather than the presence of an anaesthetist. His jokey, dismissive comments about the OP's weight and comment about Bin Laden were totally inappropriate and unprofessional.

OP, hope that you are doing OK.

bruffin, not a helpful point, the OP is clearly distressed and went through a lot.

Thankfully, there is no rule that no-one whose baby is OK can feel bad about their birth or talk about this.

Women are so often dehumanised during birth, and medical staff can forget you are a person and just treat you like a patient - a birth shouldn't be an interesting spectacle for a doctor to watch. If he wasn't doing something necessary/helpful he should have kept quiet and out of the way and disturbed the OP as little as possible.

I can't believe people are still throwing in the "you've got a healthy baby" line. It's so unpleasant and dismissive. Basically anything less than a dead baby and women should just shut up and be grateful.

To me it seems that you and this doctor didn't gel and if you'd liked him personally then it would have been far less of an issue for you. I do see that his manner and lack of explanation may have been unhelpful but I don't think anything wrong or untoward took place, from what you describe. I'm sorry you feel this way about your birth but births just aren't perfect and could be a whole lot riskier without expert medical help being available.

I believe the anaesthetist has to be there if you have... is it an epidural? Or an episiotomy? Or forceps / ventouse? Something. I know I had to have one present because of the risks associated with the interventions necessary in birthing my babies. The hospital should be able to give you the clear and simple reason he was there.

As for him watching the birth - well, that's the interesting thing happening in the room at the time and the reason why he is there. It's not a rude or shameful thing - it's a baby being born, and it would seem a little strange to modestly pretend that you weren't pushing a person out of your chuff. You were. And luckily for you there were lots of trained professionals on hand to give you and your baby every chance possible of a healthy birth. In the case of an emergency he would have already been up to speed and saving valuable seconds by getting straight to work instead of putting his crossword down and being briefed by the midwife.

I am sorry that you had a difficult birth. From the sounds of it you and I had very similar experiences. I am so bloody grateful that I had access to the hospital, the medicine, the equipment and the people who kept me and my babies alive.

Modesty shouldn't have to go out the window just because you are giving birth and everyone has the right to be treated with respect and dignity.

I also find the "top trumps" approach: you had a healthy baby, my friend/neighbour/sister did not, so count yourself lucky patronising in the extreme.

my anaesthetist stayed throughout, as once he is involved (especially with epidural) it is his responsibility and he HAS to (was not in UK). It's not that you get an injection and then he or she is off!

sorry but your comments about him "hanging around" as if he takes some kind of pervy pleasure sound very odd.

yabu

I don't think a doctor observing the baby being born is modesty out the window.

xposts with a few

Most animals choose somewhere private to give birth - but if women want a little privacy/respect/dignity then they are being precious or accusing doctors of being perves

A birth isn't just an "interesting thing happening in the room" ffs! It's that attitude that is the problem.