...to be cross with this doctor's presence during the birth?

[chickenchops]

Really not sure if i am or not.

I was induced and three hours later given an epidural by the on call anaesthetist. I didn't really like him. He was cross I was skipping the peth injection, got very cross with me when i moved slightly when he stuck me in the back with a needle (without warning), was just overall very abrupt and rude. Oh well i thought... I will never have to see him again.

My labour stalled and I got exhausted. Cue OB coming with ventouse. Just after she arrived, so did the anaesthetist.

He did not speak to me. He did not check any equipment. He did ask midwife if she had to use any boosters. (yes she said. one. although she did not disclose that i was finding the epidural less and less effective and had put me back on gas and air after 2 hours it was sited). the OB got her kit out and got between my legs. Anaesthetist then took position just to her right to watch the birth.

No one explained why he was there. he did not tell me. he made a few inappropriate comments i could have done without and then just well, watched.

Several things went wrong with my birth/aftercare. I ended up writing a letter to the hospital pointing out some aspects of my care that really were wrong and also mentioned that I was quite unhappy that this guy just showed up and hung out between my legs. they were quite surprised I was unhappy about this as "but chicken chops, he's a doctor". I wound up in a meeting with them this week and again expressed how distasteful i found this. they were again gobsmacked and said no one had ever complained before as most women simply don't mind.

really?

I'm not british and grew up in a strict evangelical christian household. I am wondering if i am being precious about my dignity to due how i was raised? Or, would you have found this offensive too?

for the record, the story has changed several times as to why he was there but no one disagrees that while he was there he did nothing.

so... aibu?

If aneithatists have to remain then sureley the hospital would have to employ many more anethatists than midwives , considering just how many women will deliver with an epidural on a typical busy ward in one night . Theres no way each individual woman is flanked by an anethatists as she gives birth .

Women cant even bank on having a midwife to themselves , let alone a personal anethatists . And yes , i know ive spelt it wrong .

Read the whole thread. Just wanted to say YANBU OP and you have my respect for complaining about this formally and seeing it through.

Hopefully this particular anaesthetist, OB, and in fact entire hospital will be forced to review their procedures and bring a little more professionalism into them.

You've done all the women who come after you a great service. Thank you for that. I wish there were more people like you in the world.

Chickenchops, sorry you had such a bad time

It's irrelevant that other people are saying they wouldn't mind and you shouldn't either. You didn't like it and IMO the strangest thing is that you haven't been given a satisfactory explaination as to why he was there

What were the 3 reasons given and how widely did they vary from what anaesthetist is now saying?

Anaesthetist being in room for some part versus anaesthetist standing and watching the delivery for no reason is a totally different thing.

When I had my ELCS there were lots of staff around - a few of them male, including the anaesthetist. They were all standing around the bed, then once the anaesthetist had made sure the spinal block was working the midwife said she needed to put in the catheter and ALL of the other people just melted away into different corners of the operating theatre. Nobody watched the m/w insert the catheter, nobody needed to be told to move away, they all just disappeared and then reappeared once the m/w had covered me up.

I didn't ask them to do that but I was very grateful that they treated me with that respect. If the anaesthetist had popped down the other end to have a look at the catheter being inserted I would have felt absolutely humiliated. But he didn't. He stood by my head throughout the procedure, asked me to make sure I told him if I felt ill or dizzy, reassured me, told me I had a beautiful baby girl.

He didn't treat me like someting in the bottom of a petri dish. Unlike the junior doctor who stitched me up after my forceps delivery and provided a running commentary to her colleagues of which bit was what.

I know which experience made me feel more well cared for.

Here, here, notmyproblem

have read the thread, NOTunreasonable at all.

your anaesthetist sounds very similar to the one i had for my ds1's birth, who was also very rough and shoved me around the bed, commenting on how he was pleased i was a 'good size and not fat' (size ten put on less than a stone in pregnancy and 5 2 so petite) he was rough and manhandled me despite the fact i had severe spd, my dp was aghast and so was my midwife. ditto drs who felt the need to stand and watch internals when there was no need and one dr who did one straight after another dr, 'just to check' again the midwife said it was unnecessary.

for my other births i was much more forthright and said no extra staff (tho i allowed students to be in the room) but no unnecessary internals etc.

i hope you get some closure on this, i never complained but i wish i had done. however i have had 4 babies since, all much better experiences, including one in a birth pool and then no-one can get up close and personal to your 'kipper'

I dont understand this competitive 'my birth was totally undignified but I dealt with it, get over yourself love' stuff.

Birth does NOT have to be totally undignified, what crap.

A woman objecting to a member of staff being present when she doesnt understand why is not being precious. It means the staff member hasnt done their job properly.

WTF is this bollocks about being greatful on your child's 18th birthday?

This doctor may well have needed to be in the room BUT he didnt make it clear, he didnt bother to explain and he made rude remarks.

He may have needed to be down the business end but the OP didnt understand why and was distressed by this. If he DID need to be there why didnt he explain.

Because he didnt think the OP was worthy of his consideration.

Why do we think that a woman in labour should put up with any kind of rudeness and idignity just because they are having a baby?

THIS is one of the reasons I had my last two babies at home. People tend to behave with more respect when they come into your territory.

YANBU.

Everything MrsDV said.

Just cos some people were treated like meat and don't appear to have been bothered by it doesn't make it ok.

Even if he needed to be there he should have explained why and there was certainly no need to stand at the business end and watch.

Wonder if he's done this before? Time to be made accountable.

Here here Mrs DV

Some women on this thread have their own issues. Belittling chicken is very unhelpful. She appears to want to move forward and I hope she can do. I also think the Dr will have benefited from her feedback - and I speak as a healthcare professional.

Bugger

I mean Hear Hear

OP,
If the obstrtrician did an epistomy without telling you especially knowing you did not want one then they should be reported to the GMC. No-one is allowed to perform a medical procedure on you without consent. She certainly should have this put on her record and be investigated properly. It is a serious matter when a doctor ignores a patient's wishes and carries out a medical procedure without or against consent. As should the anaesthetist for attending without having it recorded and for no reason whatsoever that had any benefit to you, the patient. If he was there to improve his knowledge then he had to ask permission.

I really do not understand this obsession people have with stripping women of dignity just because they dared to get pregnant, and then telling them that as a pregnant woman they should be grateful for any treatment they receive. people do not behave like that for any other medical treatment, but women getting pregnant and giving birth are suddenly made to feel like they have no rights whatsoever and that they should be happy to be stripped of dignity as its all a part of it.

kelly2000 has absolutely hit the nail on the head.

What is wrong with some of the women on this thread that they want others to endure this kind of crap politely and say nothing? That they want to reinforce this behaviour as acceptable? Shame on those of you.

Absolutely Kelly2000.

No one else going into hospital is told "leave your dignity at the door" as if it's all a joke.

And incidentally I never felt undignified during the birth of first dc thanks to kind, professional midwives, so it can be done (who I'm pretty sure wouldn't have permitted any rubberneckers).

I had three doctors popping in and out my entire labour, whispering to each other and them popping out again, they even scanned me and didn't explain why. Do I care? No. Long story short I was whisked off to theatre for some forceps as a last shot while being prepped for c section. When they whisked me off to theatre they didn't press the emergency button just turned to me and said time to go. Anyway the baby came out with her cord around her neck, and blue. I'm greatful they didn't tell me because clearly they knew and as an anxiety sufferer it would have driven me mad. Considering I had polyhydramnios and the baby would move loads then not at all, my concerns were dismissed but I knew all along there was a difference in her movements. When they decided to induce me 1 week early they didn't even tell me why, for the whole 5 days that it took them. Again sometimes they won't say and I don't think it matters as long as baby is safe at the end.

I'm genuinely shocked at this post lol YABU Of course you are. Complaining that a qualified Doctor was at the birth? I have no idea where your head is at. They see and deal with womens bodies every hour of every day. If i was him i would have been disgusted with your complaint and i'm not surpised the rest of them were shocked. Never hear that before.

I don't think you are being unreasonable about this. I had an anaesthetist in the room for two deliveries, he sat on a chair/stool next to my head and monitored me/chatted with me too, he was not stood down the business end having a look and making comments.

I don't think it's so much that he was in the room as that he was rude and gave no reasons for where he was & why.

Your complaint isn't that a dr was present at your birth when perhaps he didn't need to be, it's that a dr was present at your birth without telling you why he was where he was and treating you with human courtesy. This is especially relevant as he had already made you feel uncomfortable and whilst you may not have been in a position to do anything at the time, doesn't mean you shouldn't follow up for closure and that he shouldn't be told, so he thinks twice about how he approaches people.

I think it's really sad that a Dr had to start a "hello my name is" campaign to get Drs to treat people as humans. Even when people are out of their minds with pain and worry, this seems to have a big impact and get through somehow.

this thread is seven years old

Also OP, your Nn rings a bell. Have you posted about your birth being traumatic before?

Oh fuck, knew it was familiar, mustn't mn when tired. Sorry for feeding the zombie!!!

When I was giving birth to DS2 the consultant came in the room, looked at me, looked at the business end, then looked really pale and as if he was caught in the headlights. He was useless and he scared me (when I saw how worried he looked it freaked me out)! Fortunately the midwife shoved him out the way and took over and I managed to deliver a healthy baby boy with her help (and with him safely out the way) without too much going wrong.