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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Very Puzzled..AIBU

200 replies

GingerWrath · 17/09/2011 21:11

Acquittance has a baby that is 5 weeks on Monday. She has left her baby 1 hour and 40 min away at her Mum's, because 'she cries at night', now I am not the most maternal person but there is no way I would have left DD at 5 weeks, DM helped get her into a routine at 11 wks but I was there. AIBU to think this isn't on?

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 17/09/2011 21:14

what and she is leaving her there all night?
presumably she is bottle fed rather than breast?

personally i could not have done that, not at that age. but i guess we don't really know her full situation

peterpan99 · 17/09/2011 21:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
GingerWrath · 17/09/2011 21:15

Baby has been there for 2 nights so far!

OP posts:
whostolemyname · 17/09/2011 21:16

YABU. Its none of your business. I wouldn't do it myself, but you don't know the full circumstances.

lechatnoir · 17/09/2011 21:16

Have you considered the possibility that she might be really struggling and her mum has insisted as she can see her almost at breaking point?

Original poster
GingerWrath · 17/09/2011 21:17

She went to the pub at lunch time today, sorry for the drip feed!

OP posts:
LemonDifficult · 17/09/2011 21:17

YABU. Let it go. She will find her own way with her baby and with her mother's help - butt out.

LemonDifficult · 17/09/2011 21:19

GingerWrath, I take it you have one child who is very young? This is my guess because it sounds as though you are projecting.

MJHASLEFTTHEBUILDING · 17/09/2011 21:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
GingerWrath · 17/09/2011 21:20

Nope, I have a 5 yo in year 1, and I am very laid back!

OP posts:
cloudydays · 17/09/2011 21:21

If she's only an acquaintance, and not a close friend or relative, would it be right to presume that you're not looking for advice on how to support her, but that you just want to talk with a bunch of strangers about what a crap mum you think she is?

YABU.

LaWeasel · 17/09/2011 21:21

If she isn't coping is it better for her to sit and suffer and potentially lose control in frustration or to leave the baby somewhere safe?

It really doesn't matter what she decides to do as long as she and the other people involved are happy with it.

WhiteTrash · 17/09/2011 21:23

YABU. My first was a crier. Terrible colic. Leaving him for an hours respite is better than the thoughts I had going on in my head. Some babies cry a lot. And some babies cry alot none stop for hours on end, no sleep for weeks. I was so sleep deprived I actually halucinated it was Hell.

Who gives a fuck if she went to the pub? Thats where the gim is at! Im kidding....

Original poster
GingerWrath · 17/09/2011 21:24

I have offered her help, she admits that having a baby is a lot harder than she expected, hubby also not interested and into go carts to the detriment of family life.

OP posts:
notherdaynotherdollar · 17/09/2011 21:24

lol at the parents who cant wait to dump their kids on someone else, paid or unpaid

makes you wonder why they bothered really :)

WhiteTrash · 17/09/2011 21:24

Gin. Obviously. Grin

pictish · 17/09/2011 21:24

Good God remove your nose from your aquaintance's business at once!

storminabuttercup · 17/09/2011 21:24

Poor woman, who knows her reasons but she is obviously struggling!

YABU, sounds like you don't want to help, just bitch!

If you are a friend, which this post suggests you aren't, help, if not mind your own!

Sandalwood · 17/09/2011 21:25

She'll be complaining about her mum's interfering later.

Choufleur · 17/09/2011 21:26

Ds went to stay with my parents for the night at 6 weeks. Just after I started to mix feed.

It's not of your business. Maybe she has pnd/really isn't coping well. It's not like she has abandoned the baby.

cloudydays · 17/09/2011 21:27

You're giving a lot of info about your acquaintance, while making it clear that you don't think much of her as a mother. You've told us the age of the baby, her husband's hobby, the distance from her mother, the arrangement she's had for the last two months, where she was today for lunch.

I hope she's not a Mumsnetter. Sad

cloudydays · 17/09/2011 21:28
  • last two nights
Thefoxsbrush · 17/09/2011 21:28

Yabu. Its not harming the baby in any way and giving her a maybe much needed break!

Kayano · 17/09/2011 21:28

Why is this your business?

Original poster
GingerWrath · 17/09/2011 21:28

I am posting as a PND sufferer, at 4 weeks the baby should be with her mum.

OP posts:
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