Very Puzzled..AIBU

[GingerWrath]

Acquittance has a baby that is 5 weeks on Monday. She has left her baby 1 hour and 40 min away at her Mum's, because 'she cries at night', now I am not the most maternal person but there is no way I would have left DD at 5 weeks, DM helped get her into a routine at 11 wks but I was there. AIBU to think this isn't on?

Cant say I,ve ever seen any prejudice against the Military in my time on MN.

'The military are not popular on MN'

and this is based on what evidence?

if you say so, LN

Op made a point of a small community

I thought it significant, since she mentioned it first

small communities should pull together, yes ?

helping out a young mother would qualify, yes ?

fuck all to do with what kind of community, IMO

Is your friend a single Mum? Or getting any support from anyone else if the father isn't around?

I wouldn't have left my DD with anyone at that age (still haven't now) but I do remember the first two months being so tireing. When DD got to about 8 weeks old, I was so exhausted one morning that I woke DH to get her bottle for her when she was crying at 6am for a feed, because I was just so shattered I couldn't get out of bed.

If she is on her own then I do understand why she would feel the need to have a break, she will feel heaps better after a decent nights sleep.

I bonded extremely well with ds (and still remain bonded 11 years later), but I still had no problem with dh taking him off across the country at a few weeks old due to an emergency (dying grandfather). So I certainly wouldn't judge a woman who may genuinely need a break.

untru?

UNTRU?

YABU to judge your poor 'friend'
She probably needs some help/support and to be honest the best thing you can do is back off as I think you may be the last person she needs help from.

No idea what the military has anything to do with it

YABU walk a mile in her shoes before you comment. No I couldn't have (BF aside) done that even with my "baby from hell" eldest but I had a very supportive partner and was fairly well in my self, mature and secure in my parenting abilities (as much as a 1st time mum could be). Add to the baby that screams all the time, a traumatic delivery, anaemia, depression, partner working long hours etc or even just a mum who doesn't cope well on no sleep then a night with granny to let mum catch up, really might be good parenting strategy.

Untrue about there being prejudice avaunt military on MN. So I missed the e while typing on an iPhone? Crime of the century

Against - damn phone throws iPhone across room

YABVU I did that when dd was very young. My baby was a crier with terrible colic, and would cry from 9am-9pm every day. I had PND, thank god, both my dh and I found it hard to cope with her. I have a very good friend (dd godmother) who used to look after her at her house to give us a well deserved break, and allow me to return to some normality. And yes flame away, she used to stay the night at theirs from time to time as a young baby. I was happy as dd was being well looked after and cared for in a safe environment, and I could get a well deserved break. None of your business really.

kayano

Meant thank god i had a very good friend not that I had pND

I was on my own for ds 2, as a newborn he wasn't an all night long crying baby but I struggled a lot with night feeds, house work and ds1, that I would let him go to my brothers occasionally, so that I could stay sane, I think this acquaintance of yours has done the right thing to be honest, esp if her dh isn't helping much.

was a tongue in cheek comment kayano

Chill eh

Forgive me if I am wrong OP, but did you or did you not post this in AIBU? The vast majority of us think that not only are you being extremely unreasonable, you are also butting into an 'Aquittance's' (sic) business.

If she really was a friend, I would think it likely you would be a bit more up to speed with how it really is for this woman and, I suspect, way more understanding.

I was mortified anyway! Sorry. Everyone on MN knows I'm totally hormonal and touchy ATM

Sorry! goes to lie down

look

re. my asking whether OP is in the military

she first mentioned a "small community"

I reckon "small communities" should be looking out for their members

OP called me a twat

so I advance-searched her

it seems she is in the military, so I questioned if that were the case

I have nothing against "the military" as I know nothing about that life

but I would expect a community like that to pull together and not condone posting personal details about a young mum who is struggling badly

so...ask OP what this thread has to do with "the military"

nothing, I reckon, and lots to do with common decency

There is a whole thread on it now AF. Grrrr

AF I think you are right to assume that military communities should 'pull together' and I've only lived in one for 4 years and I honestly think we do. Of course there are some exceptions but on the whole we're all pretty close round here and I know if my friend was in the same situation as ops she would probably have a queue of us to help out and I would hate to think anyone in any community would think so badly of a women in need of a break.

a thread on what kayano

your daft phone ?

I would of given anything for someone, anyone to have taken my DS at that age, even if just for an hour (extremely colicy baby, seemed like it was 24/7 at the time)
Instead I had a very unsupportive OH who wouldn't even pick up DS, change a nappy or bath him, and sadly my mother had died many years before. I got to the stage of extreme exhaustion I fell carrying him up the stairs Luckily he was fine.
If the friend has the option of having a break why not? She probably deserves one.

MB, yes

I think the expectations on small communities should be higher with a lower level of tolerance for bitchiness such as that displayed by this OP

that is all

if anyone other than OP got the wrong impression from my comments, I apologise unreservedly and with much grovelling

AF

At least it's not
Writing in
Prose today

Shit.... Wait...