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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Very Puzzled..AIBU

200 replies

GingerWrath · 17/09/2011 21:11

Acquittance has a baby that is 5 weeks on Monday. She has left her baby 1 hour and 40 min away at her Mum's, because 'she cries at night', now I am not the most maternal person but there is no way I would have left DD at 5 weeks, DM helped get her into a routine at 11 wks but I was there. AIBU to think this isn't on?

OP posts:
NinkyNonker · 17/09/2011 21:28

No bloody way would I do it. (DD is 13 mo and still hasn't stayed elsewhere and won't do for the forseeable.) Babies that young need their mothers, but I know that others have different opinions which is part of nature's rich tapestry.

Original poster
GingerWrath · 17/09/2011 21:29

Thank ypu NinkyNonker

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 17/09/2011 21:29

wtf has it got to do with you ?

wind your neck in

and desist from gossipping about this poor woman among your other acquaintances won't you ?

nenevomito · 17/09/2011 21:30

YABU. Of course you are.

V. unpleasant thread with undertones of "ooh look at her, I'm better than her I am." Although you seem to have found one kindred spirit on here, I just think this is very mean.

ilovesooty · 17/09/2011 21:30

I don't see that it has anything to do with you.

Kayano · 17/09/2011 21:30

Just butt out Gingerwrath and stop posting details about her. She could have PnD too? Non of your business and the tone
Of your posts in downright nasty and judgemental.

thisisyesterday · 17/09/2011 21:32

ginger, in all fairness, being a PND sufferer yourself does not mean you know exactly what this woman is going through.

I have had a baby that cried, and cried and cried.
not what all babies do, because he was literally inconsolable. i was in pieces. i could NOT cope with him at all and several times when he was very small I left him with dp and said that I didn't want him any more.
i didn't even have PND, but i found it very difficult to cope with. and i think that anyone who hasn't had a baby that cries like that really has no idea what it's like

as I said in my first post, i don't think i could have left a baby that young overnight, mine were all breastfed so i couldn't have anyway. but i can understand why other people might

there is of course the possibility that she is just being very selfish and didn't realise how hard a baby was and is taking advantage of her mums offer.

we don't know do we

SayCoolNowSayWhip · 17/09/2011 21:32

Why would you even post this? 1 hour 40 mins isn't exactly a long time.

Smug parent boasting much?

GingerWrath · 17/09/2011 21:33

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

Themumsnot · 17/09/2011 21:34

AIBU to think those pants of judgement must be hoicked to very uncomfortable heights?
Really, why did you post? So we could all help you judge?

nenevomito · 17/09/2011 21:34

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

AnyFucker · 17/09/2011 21:34

is this helping her ?

she is part of your community ?

then help her, don't judge her

did you call me a twat, btw ?

LeonardNimoy · 17/09/2011 21:35

You are being totally unreasonable for thinking it is any of your business.

NinkyNonker · 17/09/2011 21:36

Not for an hour and 40 mins, an hour and 40 mins away SayCool.

ilovesooty · 17/09/2011 21:36

So because she's part of your community it's ok to post here to bitch about her? I bet you've got all your community's slack mouths judging away as well.

Kayano · 17/09/2011 21:36

Ginger. You are not helping her, you are judging her. She can probably tell you dont approve of her choices so no wonder she doesn't jump at the chance of you helping her ffs

AmazingBouncingFerret · 17/09/2011 21:37

ginger, help her by butting out maybe?

squeakytoy · 17/09/2011 21:37

it has alot to do with me as she is part of my community, and a very small one too, first time young mum and I want to help her where I can, hope that helps

You may want to interfere help, but perhaps this woman doesnt want you poking your nose into her business.

Kayano · 17/09/2011 21:37

I bet we get some more pathetic drip fed information in a little while Angry

GandTiceandaslice · 17/09/2011 21:38

YABU.

And you call yourself her friend.

Nice.

AnyFucker · 17/09/2011 21:39

God save us from these kinds of communities

a military community is it ?

does that give you carte blanche to make judgements in this way ?

Original poster
GingerWrath · 17/09/2011 21:39

If the foo shits! HOW can help her? She is adamant her approach is normal. Attacks don't help.

OP posts:
AuntieMonica · 17/09/2011 21:39

nice, i'm glad my makebelieve friends don't 'help' me out by asking a bunch of strangers to slag me off on the 'net

really OP, pour a glass of something relaxing and chill out, like your 'friend' is

storminabuttercup · 17/09/2011 21:39

Ooh I'm hiding this thread if the insults are coming out, why would someone disagreeing with you be a TWAT? Hmm

SayCoolNowSayWhip · 17/09/2011 21:40

OK apologies, misread OP (not that it's terribly clear) but still YABU. It's her business, her baby. I'm guessing baby isn't bf and the mother has bottles etc to get her through the night. If the mother is exhausted it's probably in both mother and baby's best interests for her to get some rest and respite.

Do you not remember what it was like, OP?