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Original poster

To not straighten my hair after my boss telling me to?

245 replies

katecreate · 15/09/2011 16:38

I work as a concierge and thus always on view to the public. I also have curly hair. Today, my boss took me aside to tell me that my hair looks unkempt as it is and that it would be in the interest of me keeping the job to straighten it!

Now, my hair get a bit frizzy sometimes but is otherwise well maintained. It is naturally curly and I like it that way. I told my boss (politely) where to stick it and he just said that I agreed when I signed my contract to be presentable and I should suck it up (he would like to wear a beard but it would be frowned upon apparently Hmm...not the same thing either!). That he takes a dim view of me arguing with him.

I think he is totally wrong to ask me to change something about myself and that it is verging on the discrimatory. However, I also know how difficult it would be to find another job too in this market. I know the job centre would take a dim view of getting sacked!

Thoughts?

OP posts:
Original poster
katecreate · 15/09/2011 22:13

@WhoseGotMyEyebrows

Yes, it's not often that I wear my hair down.

OP posts:
Original poster
katecreate · 15/09/2011 22:15

@squeaktoy

No, I said that 20 percent of the time I wear my hear down, not untidily.

OP posts:
CoteDAzur · 15/09/2011 22:16

math - I am not guessing that his problem is not curly hair in general but the frizz & general untidiness of OP's hair.

OP says as much with "my hair gets a bit frizzy" and "my boss took me aside to tell me that my hair looks unkept".

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 15/09/2011 22:17

katecreate So why are Cote and Quint going on about about you looking professional and well groomed and insubordination etc? If you are happy to tie back your hair then that isn't the issue and it's the curly thing that is the problem for your boss. I don't understand why you are being attacked on here.

CoteDAzur · 15/09/2011 22:17

Pulling your hair back doesn't damage it.

Original poster
katecreate · 15/09/2011 22:18

I said "my hair get a bit frizzy SOMETIMES" i.e when it's hot...which hardly ever happens in rainy Wales anyway!

OP posts:
Original poster
katecreate · 15/09/2011 22:21

I've no idea WhoseGotMyEyebrows! Apparently because my boss reckons it's unkempt then it MUST be true Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
katecreate · 15/09/2011 22:22

@ Cote

Protective buns, puffs, and ponytail styles are good at keeping hair out of your face, but they are also a major source of thinning edges. Tight hair styles can add stress to hair follicles, causing breakage. You should try keep these high-tension styles to a minimum, but if you must do them, do so wisely. Using an elastic hair band or hair band with a metal part can snag on your hair and snatch you bald, yanking out your follicles. Ouch!

From a site dedicated to curly hair.

OP posts:
WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 15/09/2011 22:24

Honestly I don't understand what's going on here. OP is happy to tie back her hair and put clips in to keep it tidy, so the fact that the boss isn't happy with that means he is discriminating against curly hair, just the same as if it were afro hair, that wouldn't go down well would it!

CoteDAzur · 15/09/2011 22:25

Whose - We are not attacking her. We are pointing out that the boss is not a nob for expecting that the concierge of the hotel be well-groomed. He says her hair looks unkept.

Instead of improving her appearance, OP is going on about how her hair is fine. And some people here are egging her on Hmm

Jackaroo · 15/09/2011 22:26

So it's a problem for men all over the place. I'm sure someone must know the first roots (arf) of the prejudice.. is it because it looks less Caucasian? Is it because of the Hmm lady garden associations teenagers get teased about? I don't know, but Kate, you're obviously not the first to deal with this (whatever I think about Rebekah Brooks, her HAIR should not be what exercises journalists in the middle of the NI debacle!).

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 15/09/2011 22:27

You have the hair you were born with and you can only reasonably be expected to tidy it to a certain degree.

Tying back - yes.
Clips in - yes.
Bit of hairspray - yes.
Heat styling which will damage it - NO.
Chemical straightening which will damage it and in some cases make it ALL fall out - NO!

BoulevardOfBrokenSleep · 15/09/2011 22:27

We need pictures, OP! We are all judging randomly without them! Grin

CoteDAzur · 15/09/2011 22:28

If she is happy to do all those things, why hasn't she done them?

And why is she ranting about the myriad dangers of ponytails?

SeniorWrangler · 15/09/2011 22:29

I have similar hair and have to go on TV, represent my employer at events etc. I stick it in a scrunchie on such occasions and I haven't had problems with hair breakage and so on, and it looks smart without me having to do much with it.

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 15/09/2011 22:30

Cote We are not attacking her. We are pointing out that the boss is not a nob for expecting that the concierge of the hotel be well-groomed. He says her hair looks unkept.

She has said that she will keep it tied back so she will be well groomed, as she already does most of the time. But he wants her to straighten it which is not natural to her hair and is nothing to do with grooming, it is a style, not a state of tidyness. He is asking way to much and it is innapropriate.

Original poster
katecreate · 15/09/2011 22:31

Thanks for the link Jackaroo- interesting reading Smile

OP posts:
CoteDAzur · 15/09/2011 22:33

"Apparently, because my boss reckons it's unkempt then it MUST be true"

Err... I guess there is also the very remote possibility that he might be on acid and hallucinating Hmm

Why on earth would he you take you aside and say that your hair looks unkept if he genuinely didn't think so?

Original poster
katecreate · 15/09/2011 22:34

@COte

What WhoseGotMyEyebrows said!

Plus, my 'rant' Hmm about the 'dangers' of ponytails was proving to you that it does damage your hair when you said it doesn't.

OP posts:
Original poster
katecreate · 15/09/2011 22:35

He does genuinely think so, that's the problem. He thinks curly hair is just unkept hair.

OP posts:
Original poster
katecreate · 15/09/2011 22:36

unkempt*

OP posts:
CoteDAzur · 15/09/2011 22:37

"he wants her to straighten it"

My understanding is that he wants her to look well-groomed and a professional blow dry is a suggestion, not the absolute demand. And there was no mention of chemically straightening OP's hair. Anyway, as previously mentioned, she had curly hair when she was hired so it is not the curls that bother him.

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 15/09/2011 22:38

katecreate I hate that curly hair is so out of fashion now. I bet if it were in fashion he wouldn't be asking you to straighten it for the sake of tidyness!

Have you thought about pinning it up with grips to solve the hair damage possibility? I get headaches when I have ponytails. What about one of those big clip things? Doesn't sound like he'd be happy though.

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 15/09/2011 22:40

I have curly hair as well and a proffessional blow dry would have to be done every day or maybe every other day and the minute there was rain or moisture in the air, or I got hot it would fuzz up and would stay like that. It would look so much worse then when curly and in defined curls which are pulled back.

Plus that would cost a bomb!

CoteDAzur · 15/09/2011 22:40

"he thinks curly hair is unkept hair"

He hasn't told you this, has he?

Were you curly during your interview or did you have straight hair?

How long have you been working in this hotel?

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