To not straighten my hair after my boss telling me to?

[katecreate]

I work as a concierge and thus always on view to the public. I also have curly hair. Today, my boss took me aside to tell me that my hair looks unkempt as it is and that it would be in the interest of me keeping the job to straighten it!

Now, my hair get a bit frizzy sometimes but is otherwise well maintained. It is naturally curly and I like it that way. I told my boss (politely) where to stick it and he just said that I agreed when I signed my contract to be presentable and I should suck it up (he would like to wear a beard but it would be frowned upon apparently ...not the same thing either!). That he takes a dim view of me arguing with him.

I think he is totally wrong to ask me to change something about myself and that it is verging on the discrimatory. However, I also know how difficult it would be to find another job too in this market. I know the job centre would take a dim view of getting sacked!

Thoughts?

Oh yeah, I'm not posting pics because I'm worried paranoid that somehow they'll come across this thread and identify me! There's a few details already that make me recognisable but I could dispute that they were not me! With a pic, I'd have to admit it! Though I can't see that I'm doing anything officially worng. I just know it wouldn't go down well.

I think you need to keep a written record of everything this horrible man is saying to you. also, if you have time, try contacting either the Citizen's Advice or a Law Centre www.lawcentres.org.uk/ for further advice. I really don't like the sound of this man and what he may be trying to do.

I would phone the free ACAS helpline on Monday (08457 47 47 47).
They are the specialists in this area and will be able to quickly give you the most up to date advice on how you stand legaly and what your options are. This is probably the quickest way to get the advice you need.

Tell him to GTF
Straightening your lovely curls is damaging and can lead to hair loss
I used to work in a very male dominated old fashioned environment and was asked to put my hair up or have it cut- very long at the time and naturally curly.
A little chat put them right

Rainbow and Cadsuane- thanks for the link/ number. Will check them out

wear a hijab and tell him you've found religion.

I am glad you asked him to write the policy down for you. Otherwise it is your word against his to some extent unless he fires you for it. And you need to keep notes of this issue for yourself. Maybe the thread would be sufficient? Is there an employee handbook?

If he fires you for anything else, he might have to show that you were warned about the issue and refused to comply with the expectation, unless it's something like standing there picking your nose or turning up for work drunk.

I really think you should start looking for a new job.

And hire a solicitor.
'Grooming warning was sex bias
Source: Discrimination Case Law Digest Date: 01-09-1994
A woman who was warned that she would have to look for a new job if she didn't alter her hairstyle was unlawfully discriminated against on grounds of sex, rules a Liverpool industrial tribunal (Chair: E Lloyd-Parry) in Gatehouse v Stretton Leisure Ltd. ' From www.xperthr.co.uk/employmentlaw/caselawarticle.aspx?caseid=3698

I would say if he has told you he will get back to you with the request in writing he has decided to see a solicitor about the matter, so you really need to start getting some legal advice here yourself.

Straight hair can not be a requirement of the job, it would amount to racial discrimination. If it can't be a general policy, then it can't apply to the OP either. (Tidy appearance could, but not the straight bit).

How does that go with demands for women to wear shoes with a heel or makeup? Surely that's similar if men don't get them same demands.

It doesn't answer your question, but this link does talk about it:
www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/libertycentral/2009/oct/05/sex-discrimination-makeup

God, I can't believe he's actually said that! I've got naturally curly hair but have only recently admitted that to myself after over 15 years of kidding myself it was straight straightening it. It's taking me a while to get to grips with how to style my curls, what products to use etc, plus it needs a cut as it's dry and damaged from all the heat styling over the years, so I'll happily admit it's looking a bit frizzy at the moment. If my boss turned around and said I needed to go back to straightening, I'd be most put out .

I wonder if you'll ever get this in writing, as requested. Whoever suggested ringing ACAS and getting legal advice is right. Some solicitors do a free half hour so you could try one of those before you pay up for anything.

I haven't read the whole thread, but has your workplace got a set staff code of conduct / handbook that details dress code and appearance?

Are you in a union OP? You could certainly take this up with them. Might be worth thinking about joining one if not.

And while I understand you wanting to keep your privacy at the moment because of your precarious position, if the arseholes do end up getting rid of you for this, please consider publicising it. If nothing else, post the name of the hotel here. I would like to ensure that they never get any of my business, and I'm sure I'm not the only non self hating curly girl or straight haired sympathiser who feels this way.

Heylo

Just to let you all know that all this came to a crescendo tonight. I'd basically just ignored what my boss had said until he said tonight that the new uniforms were in on Monday and asked whether I'd been practicing with the straighteners!

I spelled it out for him that this was not happening. He then pounced on one of our permanent residents and asked whether she'd prefer my hair curly or straight. Not to lie. She wouldn't hurt my feelings etc. It reaallly backfired because she said that it was sad that I didn't wear it down a lot! Not even just curly! I could've kissed her!

That was earlier in the evening and at the end of my shift he told me that the costs of finding someone new to train was too much hassle. He would therefore let me keep my curly hair "against [his] better judgement"! If anyone complains though, I have to straighten it? I just agreed and ran off before he could expect a thank you!

So, a win...of sorts! I'd just better hope that a stooge isn't planted to complain

to you lot! It was nice to know that the majority was on my side

Your boss sounds like a prize boob with a thing against curly hair, casting around for the opinion of a guest without even prepping her first. Not even too smart...

Next time he may well plant a stooge, though I would be tempted to just roll my eyes in that eventuality and tell him 'nice try'. I would be seeking a little legal advice no matter what.

But blow a kiss to that sweet resident from me some time.

^like^

Well good for you, although what he has said in telling you that you have to straighten your hair if a customer complains is still grossly unreasonable. I would suggest you keep a diary of all this, and perhaps ask for it in writing. Are you part of a union? You could do with some legal advice too!

I guess whenever I go to a hotel now and see a curly haired member of staff, I'll have to make a point of saying how nice it is!

Crikey blimey Charlie! I'm a hotel manager and I have.......yep, you guessed it, long curly hair! And red to boot! I have never been asked to straighten or tidy it. In fact people often comment on how unusual it is (in a good way, I think!) obviously if I am handling food (am also a chef) or serving in restaurant, it goes up but when I am hosting front of house it's down all the way.

Your boss sounds unhinged! Just say noooooooo to poor curls being frazzled by straighteners every day! Come work for me! We'll start a curly hotel!

Aaargh I hate those sorts of 'rules'. Like the ones in supermarkets where the cashiers/till operators (whatever the hell the PC term is) have to cover their facial piercings. We are engendering the belief that people are influenced by curly hair, beards, piercings etc if we continue to alter those things.

I don't care if someone has green hair, a bone through their nose and 8 ft dreadlocks. I do care if someone is racist, sexist, ageist, inconsiderate or rude.

I think your boss is making something out of nothing. I'd go with advice posted earlier - if the handbook says nothing about it then do nothing other than be your usual polite and helpful self. I can't imagine your boss asking a black person to straighten their hair....