To not straighten my hair after my boss telling me to?

[katecreate]

I work as a concierge and thus always on view to the public. I also have curly hair. Today, my boss took me aside to tell me that my hair looks unkempt as it is and that it would be in the interest of me keeping the job to straighten it!

Now, my hair get a bit frizzy sometimes but is otherwise well maintained. It is naturally curly and I like it that way. I told my boss (politely) where to stick it and he just said that I agreed when I signed my contract to be presentable and I should suck it up (he would like to wear a beard but it would be frowned upon apparently ...not the same thing either!). That he takes a dim view of me arguing with him.

I think he is totally wrong to ask me to change something about myself and that it is verging on the discrimatory. However, I also know how difficult it would be to find another job too in this market. I know the job centre would take a dim view of getting sacked!

Thoughts?

Tattoos and piercings are not relevant, totally different kettle of fish. Would people be agreeing with him if he'd asked you to dye your naturally red hair blonde?

What squeaky said.

You think you are presentable. Your boss thinks you are not. His opinion trumps yours. It's as simple as that.

It is laughable that you would try to present this as discrimination.

If he doesn't think she looks presentable he should tell her to wear her hair up/down not to straighten it

@CoteDAzur

What would you say if you boss asked you to curl your hair everyday?

Of course you're not being unreasonable.

Are you white/English? If you're not then I think for him to ask you is doubly bad as it feels like some kind of ethnicity discrimination.

I only ask because I'm Italian and I have really thick curls, as do a lot of Spanish/Italian/Southern European people/Plus a lot of non-white people.

My first thought was "He's a prat but comply," then I read that your hair was in a bun! Really, you couldn't ask for a more 'professional' style. He sounds as if he's got it in for you somehow, so it's got to be worth looking for another job. Meanwhile ... Maybe go in with it really badly straightened - the Ancient Pyramid look might work - and tell him that, on balance, you prefer the curly bun look, what's his opinion?

HIBU, natch!

I once had a boss (privately-owned hotel, again) who kept asking me why I couldn't look like the receptionist. This woman had perfect, milky skin and miles of rippling auburn waves. I'm a florid, frizzy, British blonde. Wanker.

Go to work wearing a hairnet tomorrow

It is discrimination.Why the hell should she change her hair?

I would be horrified if my boss told me to straighten my curls. Speak with your boss and explain that straightening your hair is simply not an option,due to cost and damage to your hair, however do point out that you will ensure that your hair is presentable at all times (hold your gorgeous curls at bay in a bun and slicked back if necessary until you get out of work)
You cant be fairer than that. :)

@bucaneve

I'd describe myself as white and Welsh. I have some Italian blood in me though which means I have olive skin and I think that where my curls come from. No ethnicity discrimination going on. It would definitlely be worse otherwise!

@garlicbutty

LOL I'd understand if my hair was so badly cut that I had the pyramid thing going on which I did when I was younger!

LOL BeaOnSea

Chocolategirl I did say this to him but he just said the beard thing! I'm just hoping he'll back down...because I really don't think I will!

i would pull my hair back, or half up and half down if necessary for work but i would NEVER straighten it just because some idiot thought straight hair was neater.

african american women in the US have had this problem for generations resulting in many of them killing their hair to get it straight and be considered 'more professional'. i am white but i feel just as strongly that curls are perfectly presentable... and they didn't stop rebecca brookes getting to the top of NI did they?

GEt yourself some reall shiny gel to slap it down with and dont forget the hangy down bits at the side. Nice hooped earings - will that do him?

He's a nob.

fluffles - That's exactly what my standpoint is- who is he to say that? And why should anyone have to restructure their hair at great effort to please someone else?

aquashiv I'm digging the wet look gel out right now!

I used to have a mad bobbed sprial perm as a teenager. I remember some old boot complaining about it when I worked in M+S as a Sat girl. She felt it gave the shop the wrong fecking image. Said beige lady, was receeding a tad. Obvioulsy I changed nothing about it but offered to give her the no of my hairdresser.
I would love naturally curly hair is he jealous?

I don't see why straight hair should be the standard when its unnatural to many people, as well as large continents of people.

Good for you aquashiv. I bet the lady secretly yearned for a perm!

SouthernFT- there does seem to be something a bit off aabout it. It's only recently that I've seen more people going about with their naturally curly hair.

Oh yeah, doubt he's jealous. He seemed a bit disgusted like he was talking about a horrible smell!

Do you know what ...I would suggest you do very little.

As I am sure you usually do ,make sure it is clean and tidy (as tidy as curls will let you )

I suspect his wife sent him to tell you , maybe a little on her part?

You sound very pretty,and it sounds like nit picking.

Although the hair net was a joke ,consider it ;I have unruly/wavy hair at times and if you use one just round the end (ponytail part) it might help you out!

Good luck!

What does your contract say wrt appearance? If there is anything in there saying that you have to be immaculate? (I know that it is subjective) If not speak to your boss, be communicative, ask if there has been any comments about your hair. Basically find out what the problem is regarding your hair.

Cheers Feminine. The wife told me once that she has her hair chemically straightened and said that she wished she had my confidence to not care about my appearance...I let it sliiiiiide!

Im blushing ...Im just average looking though alas

frownieface- my contract says I have to be presentable and well-groomed. Nothing specific.

See... I knew it she sounds a little bit bitchy.

Don't worry ...they can't sack you and your delightful curls!

LOL, well done Poirot Feminine

Your boss is a Nob. I have naturally curly hair, and used to spend hours trying to straighten it. IT DOESN'T WORK. One drop of moisture in the air and it springs back- except with extra split ends.

All those years of bitchy girls at school with poker straight locks- and I now love my Jew-fro

MardyArsed - sooo been there with the straightener thing. Good for you