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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

That "Matryr Mums" should maybe chill?

272 replies

Mitmoo · 14/09/2011 20:42

Martyr Mothers

They like to tell their children how much they've sacrificed for the children, how much they are giving up by putting their children first. I've heard the term before and seen some. I've just googled this and it got me wondering:

"You?ve just tidied your 10-year-olds bedroom, whipped up two batches of cookies for the school fete, bathed the dog, wrestled with sticky paper to cover your teenagers? school books, and realised you didn?t even stop for lunch today.

Does this sound just a little bit like you?

The martyrdom trap

All parents make some sacrifices for their children; it?s a normal part of parenthood. What?s not ok is when selfless sacrifices are taken to extremes, says Professor Matt Sanders, Clinical Psychologist, Founder of the Triple P Positive Parenting Program, and Director of the Parenting and Family Support Centre at University of Queensland.

?This is when parents fall into the martyrdom trap,? he says. ?Some parents suppress their own needs to such a degree that they become angry, miserable, and depressed,? he says.

Self sacrifice also has an evil twin that contributes to martyrdom ? over protectiveness, and when the two join forces martyrdom mayhem results.

Martyr mums want to protect their child, and do things for them, but what they?re inadvertently teaching their child is that they can?t do it for themselves.

What do you think, can you make too many sacrifices?

DO children have to fit in with out lives or do our lives change because we have children.

Where is the line?

OP posts:
reelingintheyears · 14/09/2011 23:15

Mumsnet has been deleted

RockStockAndTwoOpenBottles · 14/09/2011 23:15

marigolds/rubber gloves Reeling.....

BTP - everso sorry Sad

TWAT

tethersend · 14/09/2011 23:16

So describing an action -perhaps barrel scraping for instance- someone may be doing is a personal attack?

Good to know.

Kayano · 14/09/2011 23:16

I did notice that reeling. Obviously gravy is
More
Offensive than the word arse? Strange

BeerTricksPotter · 14/09/2011 23:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RockStockAndTwoOpenBottles · 14/09/2011 23:17

Apparently so, Tethers Hmm

Salmo - my favourite martyr is he or she who gives me their last drink. Or chocolate. Or juicy prawn.

RockStockAndTwoOpenBottles · 14/09/2011 23:18

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA BTP Grin

reelingintheyears · 14/09/2011 23:19

I like St Catherine

She makes a good wheel.

LeBOF · 14/09/2011 23:19

We had "houses" named after saints at my Catholic primary school. One of them was Goretti, after Maria Goretti, who refused to allow the lodger to rape her and died rather than suffer impurity for Jesus Hmm. Presumably all the kids who succumbed to paedo priests missed their chance of a sainthood then...

My favourite saint (and martyr) is Bernadette. She was fucking amazing.

LadyBeagleEyes · 14/09/2011 23:20

Where has the Op gone?
She's not debating on the thread she started. Or is she too busy scanning all the posts Wink

tethersend · 14/09/2011 23:21

St. Michael.

Patron saint of winceyette nighties.

reelingintheyears · 14/09/2011 23:22

Ooooh RockStock....

I do like a juicy prawn.

LeBOF · 14/09/2011 23:22

I think the mouse might have jammed over the report button, Beaglie Sad

Kayano · 14/09/2011 23:22

Bernedette is my confirmation name because my martyr mother forced me to get confirmed because she couldn't have kids and had to wait 4 years to adopt a catholic baby... Sad

Sorry I made you wait?

BeerTricksPotter · 14/09/2011 23:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

reelingintheyears · 14/09/2011 23:23

tethersend

There goes the 'like' button again.Grin

RockStockAndTwoOpenBottles · 14/09/2011 23:23

Well give me your last one Reeling, and you will become my favourite martyr.

Salmotrutta · 14/09/2011 23:24

Oh St Catherine's a good 'un - and that Maria Goretti, what a gal.
Or is that disrespectful?
Will I be deleted?

BeerTricksPotter · 14/09/2011 23:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

reelingintheyears · 14/09/2011 23:24

I thoght Marta was a Dutch girls name.

Kayano · 14/09/2011 23:26

Yeah... Just someone mentioned Bernadette and swinging it back to martyr mothers

Grin

Nah my mum is class

reelingintheyears · 14/09/2011 23:26

Sod orf RockSock....

My prawns my rules.

BeerTricksPotter · 14/09/2011 23:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BeerTricksPotter · 14/09/2011 23:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LeBOF · 14/09/2011 23:31

My mother jokingly refers to herself as the 41st English Martyr she's not wrong though.

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