In thinking SIL wanting to take (unborn) DS for a day the week he is born isn't normal?

[SchrodingersMew]

I'm to be induced the same week my SIL has a week off and she wants to take him for a day that week because she will be off work.

She seems totally adamant and my DP doesn't see a problem with it and thinks it will give me time to relax but I know I just wont want to let go of him so soon.

I had agreed she could take him for a day before I realised she was talking about the week he was going to be born.

I realise she's probably just trying to help and she loves kids but this doesn't seem what would normally happen. God, I have friends who refused to even really see anyone for weeks.

AIBU?

Why are you hinting?

Why is your dp on a totally different planet?

Just say NO!

Grow some balls, meant in the nicest way

Bonkers

I didn't spend a whole day away from my DS until he was 9 months old - partly because I am rubbish at expressing, but partly because I genuinely wasn't ready to be away from him before then.

:o at AtYourCervix

...and do elimination communication - don't put baby in nappies, just tell your SIL that you pick up your baby's "cues" for wee and poo and dangle him over a potty in time :)

It doesn't matter how "adamant" she is. You are also adamant that it isn't happening. Say no, keep saying no. It's your baby, not hers. One day she will have one of her own and will understand.

If she thinks that taking a newborn away from his Mother is a good idea, she really can't be a very good, or well trained, nursery nurse.

the fact thats shes a Nursery Nurse makes it even more strange to me very odd

AtYourCervix Haha, very good idea! I think I might just say that I've been told it will mess up BF if he's away from me until it's fully established and that you can't express very soon.

I really don't want to sound ungrateful.

She's a Nursery Nurse and loves kids so I guess she's excited. This is also her first nephew.

I guess everyone is just kind of forgetting that he's also my first and I will want to spend lots of time with him.

OP it is obvious you're uncomfortable with it so don't hint, don't suggest, just say no thankyou, not yet. You don't need to justify but if you feel you do then just be honest and say that you feel he is too young to be away from you and that you would feel insecure.

I still haven't spent a whole day away from DD and she is 13 months. It isn't some necessity nor a right for someone else to have a 'turn'.

YANBU! My dc3 is 9 weeks old tomorrow and I still don't want to leave him with anyone. BF is a great excuse to keep him with me.

There's no way you'll be able to express at that stage. certainly not enough for a day. also you need the baby to feed to stimulate your supply.

there are much more helpful things she could do. this is about her not about helping you.

Smellslikecatpee She is very good with kids but I guess she just isn't thinking. Maybe?

There is no such thing as 'just' expressing, believe me. Your SIL is bonkers and your DP is clueless. But we all are when we start off, he will soon learn. Good luck with your new baby.

Taking a new baby away from a new mum is the LEAST RELAXING THING EVER. God I'm stressed even thinking about it.

She's obviously not aware that the needs of a 3 month old baby (minimum age of a baby in nurseries) are different from those of a newborn.

Pelagia Thanks. :)

Aubergine It's stressing me out too and he isn't even here yet!

Bring the subject up in hospital with your DP there and let the nurse or midwife do the whole " HAHA no way, babies that young need their mum". And then follow her advice of course.

If you're breastfeeding it'll be impossible.
I'm really liking "No, that doesn't work for me".

I know you don't want to offend your in-laws but I had this with my first when she was new- "Oh she can't possibly be hungry, you just fed her, I think she has wind" (I'm talking 2/3 wks old). And I really regret not being more outspoken.

This is your baby- you are in charge.

He might be her first nephew but he isn't a toy she can play with when she wants.
No Midwife or Health Visitor would disagree with you. They all recommend Rooming In or something like it. I think that means being close to your baby at all times! Look it up and show her something on it. Actually I've not got much better to do so I'll find a link.

Don't hint, don't worry about sounding ungrateful. Just say you are pleased for her support but it is too soon for him to be away from you, you will be more than happy for her to take him out for a few hours when he is a bit older.

YANBU - pick up the phone now, and tell her today. Do NOT let her bully you into doing something you don't feel comfortable with.

SurprisEs Is that really minimum age? Her nursery takes babies from 6 weeks...

"I have been producing lots of milk since 18 weeks (actually have a bottle full from this morning) so I guess DP had just assumed I would be able to. "

Why on earth are you expressing when you're pregnant with your first?

Widow I had to go to the Docs at about 22 weeks as my breasts were engorged and backing up. If I don't they are excruciatingly painful.. :(

You and your DP obviously.
Don't mean to sound like a complete ballbreaker.

I posted on here about it at the time as I thought I had Mastitis or something but the Dr said they were just backed up.