to think MNHQ should not be deleting posts in this way? WARNING: Ranty

[doublestandard]

So, having a post deleted is a MN rite of passage and all that, but I think MNHQ have got a bit trigger happy with the delete button of late but not in a good way. And yes this is a bit thread about a thread but I think it's a general problem and worth discussing.

As an example, I have recently had a post from AIBU deleted because I said the manner in which a poster had disregarded others opinions was "flaming arrogant" and that "You have come across on this thread as a self-important, judgey know-it-all". Apparently this constitutes a personal attack?? Since when have we not been allowed to say that a specific post on a thread suggests arrogance? Or that a poster is coming across in a certain way? It is not saying the poster is arrogant or a self-important, judgey know-it-all but that is how they are being perceived.

Now ordinarily I'd shrug this off but I'm seeing more and more posters crying "personal attack!" when disagreed with and then having posts that seem to me to be quite reasonable deleted. I am also baffled that MNHQ have decided that it is not a personal attack to leave up comments by another poster stating that I condone child abuse (I mean what the actual fuck?!) when I have said nothing of the kind and because my post above is deleted people can't make up their own minds. Either delete both or delete neither surely?

I think most people on MN employ an attack the posts, not the poster as a rule. Yes, it is a bit more blunt on AIBU than relationships or behaviour and development for example, and I think that's right, but I find the nannying attitude and selective decisions not to be in the spirit of MN.

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Disclaimers

I have namechanged because I don't want to draw any more attention to the thread where MNHQ sees fit to allow a post to stand that falsely states I support the abuse of children. I suspect a few people may recognise me and/or the thread so I'd prefer not to be outed thanks.

In the interests of fairness there was another part of my post that MNHQ felt could be interpreted as "giving the finger". It was actually nothing of the kind - it was a reference to being part of a particular organisation and then a flounce - but I can see how someone might have interpreted it as that even if I don't agree. Fair enough to decide to take it down, but why leave up a libellous post stating a poster condones child abuse when the orginal post is not there to be judged?

I have raised this with MNHQ and the second paragraph draws on their email response.

I think people come ehre just for AIBU for sure. it's so well nown it's going to happen and then drag peple elsewhere. Maybe Mn should ahve a password to get peple OUT of AIBU- a great big 'you are now evetering the real world; lease don sensitivity glasses and prepare for touchdown' sign.

Lying, I'm not quite sure if you're suggesting I feel sore about AIBU - I don't, by the way - I read the threads that interest me, post on the ones that I want to an ignore the rest, pretty much like everyone else, I would think? But some that appeared to interest me initally have taken a nasty turn by the time I get to read them (I don't usually post on these) and I do wonder about the people who just seem to post bashing posts for the fun of it.

But Peachy, the real world is not like that. Some people are naturally empathic to other people, some are not and there's everything in between and all around. The other boards are free of invaders and pitchforks, aren't they? You have your Utopia.... find the door from AIBU and run.... don't look back! :)

Thumbwitch... No, sorry, only the first paragraph with your name highlighted was in response to you, it wasn't clear.

Yes lady, although IIRC It did get nasty. It then became most wonderful.

I came here in 2001, I can't remember what colour my hair was then let alone why I joined!

You know a lot of the threads that go bad could be avoided by peple just not making generalisations. I know I get so annoyed by them; 'so what if your neighbour is on benefits and spends it on thirty five packs of sunflwoer seeds and a dead canary but doesn;t feed the kids, what's that possibly got to say about me' sort of thing. But equally it's such a primary age lesson- that humans don;t all fall into simplistic categories and need to be treated as individuals not lumped ijnto a great amss. And to specify yourterms: if you want to talk about benefit fraud do so, don't talk about benefits claimants. Etc etc etc etc

Lying I was actually joking you know.

And actually I don't have utopia; I am not just a walking SN diagnosis. I like politics and current affairs and the rest and I find that theya e as likely to go bad as AIBU.

In fact AIBU threads only show on my mosta ctive box anyhow, hidden otherwise.

Peachy... Gah... I never 'get' nuances. I'm glad you'll be here on AIBU sometimes then, I didn't ever think of you as a one-trick poster anyway.

Good, I have the attention span of a dead spider so i'd be useles at one trick anything tbh anyway!

You know a lot of the threads that go bad could be avoided by peple just not making generalisations

Likewise the "this is my specific situation so therefore everything looks like that" posters can also derail thing. An anecdote or two does not equal data, as statistics wonks love to tell me :)

now there's an interesting observation - "attention span of a dead spider" - I have this daft idea that that could appear to be quite long, all those eyes, focused on one point for all eternity...

I tell DH he has the observational skills of a peanut though - that seems appropriate

True (passed MA Stats with an A last year, one day I might manage the GCSE ) although anecdotes can offer real life explanations of how things happen and what reality looks like. The overview is useless unless you understand the mechanisms.

Doubly so on MN where the initial asusmption is usually of the 'my beighbour is on JS and has 46 large TVs' kind.

Triangulation of data: qualitataive and quantitative working ion perfect synthesis.

Why yes I have got a dissertation lecture tomorrow, how did you guess?

The other key I find is to understand how fear affects peple. Not just the people on the SN board- what I actually eman is when you get those threads about people who worry that working they still don't make more than benefits and then get really angry about benefits without understanding the different types. if youa re going under or struggling or scared you might lose your job you migt well hit out against anyone, it's not personal just absolute panic talking. I do try ahrd to pick those up for what they are; often a hug and a shoulder solves those early on.

LMAO thumb

do dead thinsg really pay attention though? And if so have you considerd reading less twilight novels?

oo now watch me get all Offended on your arse there Peachy - I have never read a Twilight novel in my life!! Am horrified.

I'm pretty sure they don't actually pay attention, they just look like they do - like those ghastly stuffed heads with glass eyes in stately homes an' that - seem to be staring you out of countenance if you look at them (which I mostly don't cos they're creepy and sad)

Can I add to the annoying type of poster = the one who doesn't believe in anything outside of their own experience - as in, "it's never happened to me or anyone I know so you must be making it up". Pisses me RIGHT off, that one.

It's often the case that the more fucking stupid and wrong some posters are, the more likely they are to run off crying to MNHQ to have everyone else deleted. Dimwitted, unimaginative, self-righteous mundanes who are terrified of opposing viewpoints because they can't argue with them are ever so prone to playing the 'BWAAAAH! You've hurt my ickle feelings!' card to shut down discussions they don't like and don't understand.

Are MNHQ going to address the point of deleting a post but allowing references to the deleted poster to stand? IfoundmyGspot has just posted yet another example.

SGB, yep, yep, yep. I've never held with the "words on a screen" adage, but I'm sick of shouts of "bullying" if someone dares disagree. I post on here as I would behave in rl. If someone was being a silly cow I would tell them, and hope they would do the same to me. Its not a personal attack.

Deleted by Mumsnet.

Scary.

I'm against it ( all this deletion nonsense )
I want to know what people think with the pips left in, if you see what I mean ... If you think it's too snarky go elsewhere!

Rather than a "hide" button, I'd like to assign a little skull and crossbones to posters I dislike so that whenever their posts appear I am prepared for their tosserishness (memory is so bad I can't remember all the ones I usually get wound up by).

'I don't like the idea of it all descending into chaos and I think it would, personal attacks and attacks against groups shouldn't be allowed'.

I agree with Lenin here. I am in the challenge the crap camp though (vs. hide poster or like buttons which would encourage a fight club atmosphere or assigning goodies or baddie hats to individuals).

What I have always thought is a shame on MN is the fact that you can't edit a post yourself after it has been posted. Something half way between leaving something offensive stand and deleting the post in its entirety. Maybe there are people who would think the better of a phrase or term they posted and would self censor if they had a chance to?

math inersting idea; I can certainly think of a few threads recetly whre sone apologised veryb early on but people kept ahmemring from OP alone.

maybe a resolved STFU flag

M against it. R h If it annoys you post less. Or Leave.