to think MNHQ should not be deleting posts in this way? WARNING: Ranty

[doublestandard]

So, having a post deleted is a MN rite of passage and all that, but I think MNHQ have got a bit trigger happy with the delete button of late but not in a good way. And yes this is a bit thread about a thread but I think it's a general problem and worth discussing.

As an example, I have recently had a post from AIBU deleted because I said the manner in which a poster had disregarded others opinions was "flaming arrogant" and that "You have come across on this thread as a self-important, judgey know-it-all". Apparently this constitutes a personal attack?? Since when have we not been allowed to say that a specific post on a thread suggests arrogance? Or that a poster is coming across in a certain way? It is not saying the poster is arrogant or a self-important, judgey know-it-all but that is how they are being perceived.

Now ordinarily I'd shrug this off but I'm seeing more and more posters crying "personal attack!" when disagreed with and then having posts that seem to me to be quite reasonable deleted. I am also baffled that MNHQ have decided that it is not a personal attack to leave up comments by another poster stating that I condone child abuse (I mean what the actual fuck?!) when I have said nothing of the kind and because my post above is deleted people can't make up their own minds. Either delete both or delete neither surely?

I think most people on MN employ an attack the posts, not the poster as a rule. Yes, it is a bit more blunt on AIBU than relationships or behaviour and development for example, and I think that's right, but I find the nannying attitude and selective decisions not to be in the spirit of MN.

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Disclaimers

I have namechanged because I don't want to draw any more attention to the thread where MNHQ sees fit to allow a post to stand that falsely states I support the abuse of children. I suspect a few people may recognise me and/or the thread so I'd prefer not to be outed thanks.

In the interests of fairness there was another part of my post that MNHQ felt could be interpreted as "giving the finger". It was actually nothing of the kind - it was a reference to being part of a particular organisation and then a flounce - but I can see how someone might have interpreted it as that even if I don't agree. Fair enough to decide to take it down, but why leave up a libellous post stating a poster condones child abuse when the orginal post is not there to be judged?

I have raised this with MNHQ and the second paragraph draws on their email response.

that's the thing about mn

you can say "cunt"

and then you can say "per se"

v good

Ooooo

is it time for the cunt argument again?

it's come round so quickly

let's just dig up the last one and cut n paste to save time

it might have been deleted

there's a lot of it about

let's just dig up the last one and cut n paste to save time

Hully,imagine if Chaos was to get her hands on this line above...it would be quite apt

why don't you just start posting cunt cunt cunt cunt and ripping the piss, hully? that'll take us where you want this to go.

we were talking about politeness, consideration for others etc, actually. that's what the big pro-cunters don't seem to get. it's not about a word at all, but in treating this discussion like it is as simplistic as that, the loud (i suspect) minority get heard above all else. and then HQ start over-deleting because the mood of the boards becomes so aggressive and nasty because guess what, MN is the sort of place that LOVES that sort of behaviour, isn't it? Look at them all, they say CUNT and everything.

During the riots I had a huge row with db's bil about some racist comments he made. He called me a r*td, and a m*g, and said that I should be burnt to death. I called him a cunt. His dw (sil's sis) was horrified that I had used "the c word", and saw nowt wrong in his postings. Even when he used the word cunt to describe man u. Says it all.

yy Aitch. It's about time we remembered that swearing doesn't make you look big and clever we're not 5 year olds after all.

Aitch

It was a JOKE

well you see i personally LOVE swearing and would make no move to ban it whatsoever on here. god knows, sometimes it is the Funniest Thing On Earth. but i do think that if i came onto a place where a sizeable number of posters had changed their names to include the word cunt in it, or whatever other swearie names, i would draw a conclusion that this was the kind of place where that kind of confrontational behaviour was not only tolerated, but admired. and that, i think, is kind of tricky.

i do think that AIBU is the principal reason (well, that and the size and the inevitable splinter groups, i suppose) that this place feels so different now. but maybe there really is nothing to be done about that other than join a splinter group ourselves?

was it? like as in a funny-for-everyone joke or the kind of joke designed to shut people up? likewise 'it was a JOKE '.

i don't really believe you, Hully, tbh. you are a brilliant, brilliant poster, no doubt about that, but on this issue you do have a habit of trying to make me look like a prick just for having a different opinion to yours. imo.

I have to say, I'm going to make a concerted effort to be less aggressive on here. So, if you see me being all yappy and bolshy, tell me I'm being a twat please

Thread derailing by 'hilarious' (in their opinion) posters is jaw-crackingly yawnsome.

The swearing doesn't bother me -

As you know I am a loud and proficient swearer. What I try NOT to do though is swear AT people in a violent "YOU ARE A FUCKING CUNTY TWAT GET A GRIP WANKFACE"

(although I did once lose my temper and call some posters cunts and whores. I was so ashamed of myself that I flounced for a week)

'other than join a splinter group ourselves?'

It's a vicious circle - people who have been here a long time, have seen it all before, have got bored - become dismissive and aggressive. Lurkers and newbies see these 'known' names and think that's how you get remembered and up the ante and so it continues

Why do people post the dratted biscuit or an eye roll? It's to be/feel superior. Maybe we have all read and contributed to mum/baby parking threads but new parents won't have known that. The same parenting issues - however banal, petty, tedious etc will hit the next lot of parents and posters

The swearing is tedious, it isn't big or clever and imo, it is a bit childlike - is it really necessary, all of the time?

Why do people have to be mean, just for the sake of it?

SPLITTERS!

Aitch - I am astonished. Agog and aghast. Really. I absolutely don't intend to do that!! Why on earth would I?

I thought we were mates

Who cares if we disagree about swearing? I never ever set out to make anyone look bad on purpose.

I am havign a really bad day here.

Accused of all sorts all over the place.

maybe it is me.

Great post by MsCellophane.

Could tech develop an optional swear filter? To please those who don't like the sweariness, while allowing those of us who chose mn because of the lack of moderation to swear. Eg I post, "shirley, you are cunty wankstain " and mscelllophane sees "shirley, you are a *ny *nstain " or similar?

:o @ wankstain! Now you, lissielou, are funny!

thank you.

thank you.

i TRULY apologise, Hully. i thought you were trying to shut me up, and felt a bit crushed (again). it's a tricky area, all this, because in truth i do feel like a bit of a prick for saying 'why can't we all just be a bit NICER?' sincere apologies, you caught a bit of thin skin there, i think.