to think MNHQ should not be deleting posts in this way? WARNING: Ranty

[doublestandard]

So, having a post deleted is a MN rite of passage and all that, but I think MNHQ have got a bit trigger happy with the delete button of late but not in a good way. And yes this is a bit thread about a thread but I think it's a general problem and worth discussing.

As an example, I have recently had a post from AIBU deleted because I said the manner in which a poster had disregarded others opinions was "flaming arrogant" and that "You have come across on this thread as a self-important, judgey know-it-all". Apparently this constitutes a personal attack?? Since when have we not been allowed to say that a specific post on a thread suggests arrogance? Or that a poster is coming across in a certain way? It is not saying the poster is arrogant or a self-important, judgey know-it-all but that is how they are being perceived.

Now ordinarily I'd shrug this off but I'm seeing more and more posters crying "personal attack!" when disagreed with and then having posts that seem to me to be quite reasonable deleted. I am also baffled that MNHQ have decided that it is not a personal attack to leave up comments by another poster stating that I condone child abuse (I mean what the actual fuck?!) when I have said nothing of the kind and because my post above is deleted people can't make up their own minds. Either delete both or delete neither surely?

I think most people on MN employ an attack the posts, not the poster as a rule. Yes, it is a bit more blunt on AIBU than relationships or behaviour and development for example, and I think that's right, but I find the nannying attitude and selective decisions not to be in the spirit of MN.

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Disclaimers

I have namechanged because I don't want to draw any more attention to the thread where MNHQ sees fit to allow a post to stand that falsely states I support the abuse of children. I suspect a few people may recognise me and/or the thread so I'd prefer not to be outed thanks.

In the interests of fairness there was another part of my post that MNHQ felt could be interpreted as "giving the finger". It was actually nothing of the kind - it was a reference to being part of a particular organisation and then a flounce - but I can see how someone might have interpreted it as that even if I don't agree. Fair enough to decide to take it down, but why leave up a libellous post stating a poster condones child abuse when the orginal post is not there to be judged?

I have raised this with MNHQ and the second paragraph draws on their email response.

Oh thank god

Totally agree about the niceness and good manners, just not the swearing...

See, now this is the point we'd all link arms and have a sing song about being Good Friends. Except then someone would start a thread complaining about singing or de-railing via the medium of swaying or something.

So I shall just be quietly pleased that everyone I like still likes one another .

the problem, I think, is that being nice has, over the years somehow been derided as being "fluffy" and "hun-ish" and all those other things belonging to the other place.

and so, in a desperate bid to prove "we" are not NM, the aggression, and the fightclub status (exacerbated by AIBU) have come about.

straight talking has morphed into blunt aggression
the odd bout of swearing (thoroughly deserved, a la Cunting Sainsburys) has turned into how-many-people-can-I-call-a-twat-today
to-the-point advice has turned into and

and it is not pleasant.

I like swearing me; I also think that reserving it a little gives it more impact IYSWIM.

If youa re 100% all teh time, nobody will know you mean business or are angry becuase there is nothing to turn it up to.

Yes, being nice ahs been devalued. I just explained complex welfare policy somewhere- and found myself apologising! being nice is almost seen as a form of dishonesty, a sokescreem, when sometimes it's just being nice

And if you are nice you don't get ehard becuase everyone shouts louder, or accuses you of all sorts of crap knowing you won't actually have a go back, or have fun goading you into telling them where to get off (lately i find that's not ahrd as it should be: need to work on that)

The whole place has become very combatant - too many people wanting to get the upper hand, trying to catch people out, wanting the troll finder badge.

Hardly anyone can post anything slightly of the wall without getting a biscuit or a rolling eye or a 'welcome to mumsnet, first post?'

It's become hostile, jokey threads rarely happen, support is sadly lacking, debate is just people shouting over the top of others etc etc etc

It's sad and it's getting worse

About six months ago under my usual name someone tried to our me as a troll, I got a welcome to MN type post- might have been a political debate but can't remember

Oh how I laughed!

Even if I had been theres a point after so long that you'd beocme the troll and your old eprsona would end surely?

Mscell. I have to disagree about the support thing. There are hundreds of lovely supportive threads everywhere. Just not on AIBU.

I think too many of the jokey posts are getting deleted now though.
What I see as mild pisstaking is suddenly deleted.
People with no sense of humor of jumping on the report threads too quickly, when I feel I've just read a bit of banter.

the thing about reporting threads is also interesting. i am sure when i first came here there was more of a 'publish and be damned' vibe. (not talking about MP and SWMNBN, but actual individuals and their posts).

i LOVE it when i am presumed to be troll
it means i haev really annoyed, and that makes my day

Aitch, yep, I agree. People made a post and had to accept the consequences.

Was just wondering (as I cleaned the bathroom) if maybe mnhq's sudden trigger-happiness is in part down to the recent case of a troll being jailed. Dh uses a football club forum and they have been ready with the deletions too.

Oh dear I have a sweary name. Does that mean I'm bringing down the site and you all think I'm a wankstain?

This is my actual name. Honest

yes.

Oh.

There was a time when your name would have been deemed inappropriate Mutha and you'd have been politely asked to change it.

Falling standards

see, your name is a case in point, i think. it is absolutely imo legitimately FUNNY, and funny goes a long way on here, quite fooking rightly.

however, i wonder if you would even have considered it a few years ago, when there were no other fuckers or cunts etc. i really doubt it. and like i say, i think the next person who comes along, who ISN'T as witty as you or indeed as fundamentally sound as, for example, my old pal anyfucker, well, they just go for a swearie name and an abrasive posting style and notoriety follows.

and it's NICE to be a known quantity on here (well, not always but ykwim) esp now it's so big, so why wouldn't people just choose the most expedient method to make a name quickly?

problem is, i personally think it's been shite for the boards as a whole.

and i always have done, btw, and i have taken a fair amount of flack for it over the years and now i am pmsl to see people complaining about deletions etc because WHAT DID THEY THINK WOULD HAPPEN on someone else's business if they reserve the right to act like louts, with no consideration for others? i mean... derrrrrr.

I think Aitch is biased as the sweary names/threads make her job much harder .

hehehe. well the aggression levels TOTALLY make my job HEAPS harder. btw i think you are in tomozzer's roundup, MsBilt. keep up the good work.

How? I never post on anything but XF and wolefs and Slagging Peter Andre threads really, and I'm mighty sweary on them all .
I shall await with interest.

perhaps i am mixing you up with someone else, then... someone funner.

Am sorry I pm'd you now .

I have come back to Mumsnet after a while away. I stopped looking at this forum because I thought that many posters were rude, insensitive and downright offensive to each other. I have noticed this time that posts are a lot more respectful and inoffensive and this will encourage me to engage on this forum more. Well done to Mumsnet for deleting nasty comments.