to think MNHQ should not be deleting posts in this way? WARNING: Ranty

[doublestandard]

So, having a post deleted is a MN rite of passage and all that, but I think MNHQ have got a bit trigger happy with the delete button of late but not in a good way. And yes this is a bit thread about a thread but I think it's a general problem and worth discussing.

As an example, I have recently had a post from AIBU deleted because I said the manner in which a poster had disregarded others opinions was "flaming arrogant" and that "You have come across on this thread as a self-important, judgey know-it-all". Apparently this constitutes a personal attack?? Since when have we not been allowed to say that a specific post on a thread suggests arrogance? Or that a poster is coming across in a certain way? It is not saying the poster is arrogant or a self-important, judgey know-it-all but that is how they are being perceived.

Now ordinarily I'd shrug this off but I'm seeing more and more posters crying "personal attack!" when disagreed with and then having posts that seem to me to be quite reasonable deleted. I am also baffled that MNHQ have decided that it is not a personal attack to leave up comments by another poster stating that I condone child abuse (I mean what the actual fuck?!) when I have said nothing of the kind and because my post above is deleted people can't make up their own minds. Either delete both or delete neither surely?

I think most people on MN employ an attack the posts, not the poster as a rule. Yes, it is a bit more blunt on AIBU than relationships or behaviour and development for example, and I think that's right, but I find the nannying attitude and selective decisions not to be in the spirit of MN.

-----

Disclaimers

I have namechanged because I don't want to draw any more attention to the thread where MNHQ sees fit to allow a post to stand that falsely states I support the abuse of children. I suspect a few people may recognise me and/or the thread so I'd prefer not to be outed thanks.

In the interests of fairness there was another part of my post that MNHQ felt could be interpreted as "giving the finger". It was actually nothing of the kind - it was a reference to being part of a particular organisation and then a flounce - but I can see how someone might have interpreted it as that even if I don't agree. Fair enough to decide to take it down, but why leave up a libellous post stating a poster condones child abuse when the orginal post is not there to be judged?

I have raised this with MNHQ and the second paragraph draws on their email response.

NO.

HTH

"Rather than a "hide" button, I'd like to assign a little skull and crossbones to posters I dislike so that whenever their posts appear I am prepared for their tosserishness"

Yes, MNHQ let us highlight the idiots that wind us up, then we can avoid reading their posts unless we want to be riled up.

Ireallyagreewithyou, eh?

Ireallyagreewithyou, eh?

liss i think what she emans is Peachy go away or accept it how she is.

I've only ever had one post deleted and that was where i told someone else to fuck off. They deserved it.

I think it's a tricky area. Communication is difficult on forums and it's easy for someone to be unfairly maligned for a crass or ill-thought-through post.

How would you define a disablist post - as opposed to the very obvious examples of offensive name calling - is questioning benefits a disablist post? Or questioning the number of disabled parking spaces vs parent/child spaces given in a car park? What about taxes - is it disablist to say that cut backs to provision to children with SN is justified in the current economic climate?

Is this sort of discussion off limits?

You can't control people's views and some of these views will be offensive, hell we all had to put up with Daftpunk promoting the BNP last election - being offended isn't the worst thing that can happen, surely.

Ah, sorry, couldn't understand any of the post.

But yes, why should you? Why should anyone? I love mn, I love most of the people. Why should we lose a valuable support network?

Ah, sorry, couldn't understand any of the post.

But yes, why should you? Why should anyone? I love mn, I love most of the people. Why should we lose a valuable support network?

How would you define a disablist post - as opposed to the very obvious examples of offensive name calling - is questioning benefits a disablist post? Or questioning the number of disabled parking spaces vs parent/child spaces given in a car park? What about taxes - is it disablist to say that cut backs to provision to children with SN is justified in the current economic climate?

This is the core of it - to me none of this is "disablist" or SN-ist or whatever one chooses, nor is discussing how best to identify such people at fun parks etc etc - it is discussing teh hows and whys, and I would do it for defence spending or education or whatever.

But clearly a lot of people will disagree, and that is where it all gets emotional and fraught.

None of that has ever been deleted though has it?

If that comes up I am happy to explain.

If I get called names or the boys Sn attacked because of it then I want to see something done.

If someone says I should stay away from theme aprks / education etc becuase of the boys that is clearly disablist, as it would be if someone said they did not want black people in such places.

I enaged with DP (still scrubbing eyes with brillo daily) and I'll engage with anyone on an information basis.

Actually I do think saying cutbacks to disabled chidlren is justified could be disablist depending on how it was phrased. It has the potential to barr children from accessing something they are entitled to under the human rights convention and to deny that on the basis of a protected characteristic. Not sure it would occur to me to report though, just to get annoyed and point out that fact. I might actually need to report more.

OTOH if it was 'your children shouldn't get access to education, it costs too much' that would probably be annoying, it's targeted rather than a generic opinion. 'We should campaign to get children with SN removed from education it cost too much' might even border hate speech becuase the action would intimidate disabled children and their carers. Hate speech is apparently 'Any communication which is threatening, abusive or insulting, and is intended to harass, alarm, or distress someone is forbidden' [if on account of a specified characteristic] and that actually would cover more MN issues than I ever thought it might. Interesting.

Most of us were happy to engage with how to identify or not people at theme parks. Not everyone was happy with being identified but that was as much of an opnion things as anything else.

It was the people saying that if our kids needed extra support then we should stay away from places where people might be tired or they could justifiably get angry that shocked me.

THis site is quite heavily moderated but not as heavily moderated as some out there

I've had this discussion before with people saying that it's not moderated

well it is under another name

You can't do right for doing wrong sometimes on SN threads.
However much you try to understand the sn point of view, you will often get treated very aggressively, if you are deemed 'unsympathetic'.
Shineon got a perfectly harmless and well meaning post deleted today.
Me, I don't even try to post, because whatever I said would be the wrong thing.
There are two different sides to this.
I await to be flamed and then deleted.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited, but I couldn't stay away I couldn't fight it

It's very difficult on a forum like this to get it right all the time, you're talking to so many different people about so many different things....sometimes the niceties of polite conversation slip a bit - and being slightly raving - I had more slips than most.

I would like to publically apologise to HQ for all the additional work I caused them, God knows their job was
hard enough without me around.

I was eventually banned for continuously breaking site rules - it was the absolute right decision as I was never going to change, not because I didn't want to, I Just found it too difficult to avoid arguments. I wasnt't ignored enough, people gave me too much attention, (so much so I often wondered who was encouraging who? ) however, I would like to apologise to anyone I upset or offended. It was never intentional.

I was a bit shocked at being thought of as homophobic however, not least because I had a 2 year off board sexual relationship with another (female) Mumsnetter - and it was obvious to a few people what was going on. Yes I was publically in denial and that was wrong (maybe?) - but it's hard to admit certain things - religion eh?

I am banned and that will never change - yet despite my banned status I would have gone to the Spring meet-up ( for half an hour ) you see I'm not ashamed of who I am & I never hold grudges, and never will.I was asked to go by an offboard friend ( not everyone on MN thinks I'm revolting, some people think I'm pretty ok actually ) but I didn't want to just turn up ....I have some social etiquette - not a lot but some, ha ha

Apologies for all typos etc, I quickly joined up from college to post this >

Once again, to anyone I upset with my tactless personality - please accept my sincere apologies.

DP xx

Could whoever is linking this thread to known trolls please grow the fuck up?

TIA

Goodness me. Well I hadn't guessed that. Funny old world.

Of course that post may not even by DP at all. Just someone stirring.

Just had the thought that MNHQ are busy pulling threads today for less.

Pleeeeese leave this one be!

I call bullshit. As if DP was having a lesbian relationship. As fucking IF

Damn, I thought MNHQ had slowed down on the deleting... are they really pulling whole threads today for less?

Why not? She snogged Reality, and followed Lenin round like a lovesick puppy...

Sounds like daftpunk to me.

Not enough...ellipses.

Whatever, I don't really give a fuck actually. The stupid racist.

Next thing she'll be telling us she's married to a non-white person. Oh, hang on...

Yup Wholly. They pulled one today for "turning into a bit of a bunfight"