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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

to think MNHQ should not be deleting posts in this way? WARNING: Ranty

624 replies

doublestandard · 10/09/2011 15:39

So, having a post deleted is a MN rite of passage and all that, but I think MNHQ have got a bit trigger happy with the delete button of late but not in a good way. And yes this is a bit thread about a thread but I think it's a general problem and worth discussing.

As an example, I have recently had a post from AIBU deleted because I said the manner in which a poster had disregarded others opinions was "flaming arrogant" and that "You have come across on this thread as a self-important, judgey know-it-all". Apparently this constitutes a personal attack?? Since when have we not been allowed to say that a specific post on a thread suggests arrogance? Or that a poster is coming across in a certain way? It is not saying the poster is arrogant or a self-important, judgey know-it-all but that is how they are being perceived.

Now ordinarily I'd shrug this off but I'm seeing more and more posters crying "personal attack!" when disagreed with and then having posts that seem to me to be quite reasonable deleted. I am also baffled that MNHQ have decided that it is not a personal attack to leave up comments by another poster stating that I condone child abuse (I mean what the actual fuck?!) when I have said nothing of the kind and because my post above is deleted people can't make up their own minds. Either delete both or delete neither surely?

I think most people on MN employ an attack the posts, not the poster as a rule. Yes, it is a bit more blunt on AIBU than relationships or behaviour and development for example, and I think that's right, but I find the nannying attitude and selective decisions not to be in the spirit of MN.

-----

Disclaimers

I have namechanged because I don't want to draw any more attention to the thread where MNHQ sees fit to allow a post to stand that falsely states I support the abuse of children. I suspect a few people may recognise me and/or the thread so I'd prefer not to be outed thanks.

In the interests of fairness there was another part of my post that MNHQ felt could be interpreted as "giving the finger". It was actually nothing of the kind - it was a reference to being part of a particular organisation and then a flounce - but I can see how someone might have interpreted it as that even if I don't agree. Fair enough to decide to take it down, but why leave up a libellous post stating a poster condones child abuse when the orginal post is not there to be judged? Confused

I have raised this with MNHQ and the second paragraph draws on their email response.

OP posts:
Anniegetyourgun · 10/09/2011 16:09

But sometimes, just sometimes, a bad word is the mot juste for the occasion.

And sometimes it's funny.

Georgimama · 10/09/2011 16:09

If a post is reported they should bother to read the whole thread it is on Psammead. That's hardly asking for much.

AgentZigzag · 10/09/2011 16:13

I can see why MNHQ might delete a post because the spirit of it is an attack on another poster.

I got deleted for just writing 'twat' in a post, I presume they read into it that I was calling the fuckwittery of a poster above me a twat, which was true tbf.

I've just been saying on the 9/11 thread that I'm surprised there's been no namecalling and deletions, that must mean I take it as part of AIBU that somebody is bound to clash with another poster.

It's been quite nice to have a chat without agro breaking out, but that's not to say I want to see an end to the vigorous debating that only AIBU can provoke, it's been very handy keeping me awake when I've needed to on the odd occasion Grin

Psammead · 10/09/2011 16:14

Fair point, Georgimama.

I think they are too busy eating cake for such nonsense Grin

Original poster
doublestandard · 10/09/2011 16:14

There was no name calling by me. Absolutely none. Yes it was a no holds barred rant but it was not a personal attack.

incidentally, in the post they let stand that associates me with child abuse the poster states I called her names. MNHQ have conceeded I did not but still it was deleted.

Their first email was apologetic, almost a "I'm sorry we deleted it if you didn't intend that comment to be interpreted that way". The second was much more stroppy and says I called the poster arrogant and that "You have come across on this thread as a self-important, judgey know-it-all" could be interpreted (I shit you not) as a personal attack. Since when are we interpreting postss? Reading, yes. Infering, yes. Interpreting??! I say again, What The Actual Fuck.

OP posts:
SayCoolNowSayWhip · 10/09/2011 16:14

But Georgiemama sometimes threads can be upwards of several hundred posts. Poor MNHQ can't take the time to read all that surely! :o

I'm going to stick my neck out and say I don't think any posts should be deleted. As a previous poster said it's a very subjective and arbitrary decision, and as this is a discussion board and we're all adults, we should be able to speak our minds. If someone does attack someone personally I have never seen an instance where the attacker has not themselves been rebuked by other posters on a thread.

Mitmoo · 10/09/2011 16:16

The double standards are pretty mind numbing. For example I started a thread about a shyster trying to rip off an OAP. Some really pea minded ridiculous people tried to claim it as an antisemitic post due to use of the word shyster not due to any Jewish reference at all. There was no Jewish reference at all to be clear.

The OED have definitionons of shysters without any reference to a Jewish slur. The unintelligencia incapable of reading a sentence in context reported it, bjtched about it and the thread was removed as it was a bun fight. That probably says more about them than me to be fair to MN.

Yet the same unintelligencia had left page after page of other using the same term "shyster" also within the correct OED definition of the term completely unchallenged.

Double standards are alive and at play on here daily but some are too dim to think the advanced search facility can't show that.

AgentZigzag · 10/09/2011 16:17

Actually doublestandard, I've just remembered somebody said I was renowned for making racist comments, but then came back a couple of posts later and said she'd remembered the posters name and it wasn't me she was thinking of.

MNHQ deleted her post and mine with the WTF face underneath it really quickly.

That's horrible if they're refusing to delete the post for you.

pigletmania · 10/09/2011 16:18

Fredbear my goodness AIBU will not exist then!

saggarmakersbottomknocker · 10/09/2011 16:20

A bit of consistency would be a start.

Psammead · 10/09/2011 16:22

SayNow I would agree with you fully, if we were all reasonable adults. I have seen some absolutely awful threads - deliberately upsetting - aimed at a poster, and we're not talking 'U R a Cunt' or something. I reported it and it was gone hopefully before it was even seen by the person it was aimed at. Also, advertising, or bad links should be reported. But again, even those have grey areas, so it really is all about interpretation.

TrillianAstra · 10/09/2011 16:24

Wouldn't this be better placed under site stuff?

LadyBeagleEyes · 10/09/2011 16:24

Yes I agree with everybody here.
The last couple of months are seeing so many deletions, you can't make a joke or even slightly take the piss anymore, or you'll be deleted.
Is every reported thread deleted by MNHQ? What's their policy on this?

BatsUpMeNightie · 10/09/2011 16:26

I thought for a minute there that we might have a thread where Trillian didn't come on suggesting it should be somewhere else. Ho hum.

Original poster
doublestandard · 10/09/2011 16:27

I did think about site stuff but I wanted to see if I was BU because I don't often disagree with MNHQ. More traffic, and more opinion here.

OP posts:
AnnieLobeseder · 10/09/2011 16:27

Now as I remember it, Mitmoo, no-one said you were trying to be anti-Semitic, just that the word could be used as an anti-Semitic insult and as such, would prefer you not to use it. A polite and reasonable request which you ignored, thus turning an innocent use of the word into one with the intention to offend. I am very glad MNHQ deleted that disaster of a thread, as should you be as it painted you in a very unflattering light.

pleasestoplying · 10/09/2011 16:27

Widowwadman, are you being unreasonable?

Hmmm...making snide remarks about special needs and neurotic parents...no, you're a paragon of virtue. Re-read the thread in question (I just did) and pretend you're not you (it's called empathy) and just see if you think that your original behaviour was so perfect. You may well have a point about deletions but I think your original behaviour was pretty unpleasant.

Psammead · 10/09/2011 16:28

Trillian maybe you should made change to Heimdall Grin

pleasestoplying · 10/09/2011 16:28

P.S. will find it pretty ironic if you ask for my post to be deleted ;)

Original poster
doublestandard · 10/09/2011 16:28

[joke]

OP posts:
Psammead · 10/09/2011 16:28

Name, even...

Thumbwitch · 10/09/2011 16:29

I've noticed that MNHQ do appear to have got a lot more hunnish about their deletion policy - it seems that someone only has to report a post and it's deleted now, without much thought as to whether it deserves it or not.

NB - I am not talking personally, the last posts I had deleted did actually deserve to be although at the time I was a bit ticked off about it. I'm talking about other people's posts that I have seen deleted, when really there was no obvious reason for it.

Georgimama · 10/09/2011 16:29

I would prefer posts to stand too - I think deletions should be to an absolute minimum. If someone is being a total cunt that I think it would be better for the comment to stand and other posters to be able to form their own judgement of that person.

MNHQ
OliviaMumsnet · 10/09/2011 16:30
Georgimama · 10/09/2011 16:31

Ooh unfortunate x post that looks as if I am replying to Thumbwitch who is I am sure quite incapable of being a cunt of any kind, total or otherwise.

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