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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

girls dont want to play

128 replies

greengirl87 · 03/09/2011 12:53

I know i probably am, but aibu to be upset that the older girls 7,5 and 4 playing out in my street dont want to play with my daughter (almost 3)? shes been excited all morning to go out and play with them, so we went out and she went over to find them and ask them if they wanted to play with her. They all just ignored her. Thier mum then asked the 5yr old if she wanted to come and play and her sister told her not to. My daughter didnt understand why they wouldnt talk to her or play with her.
The whole thing just made me feel really sad for her. I understand they are abit older, but could they not of just played with her for 30mins?

OP posts:
cjbartlett · 03/09/2011 12:56

At that age you'd want to be inviting friends round though not playing out wouldn't you?

FabbyChic · 03/09/2011 12:57

She isn't even three yet and playing outside? Madness.

worraliberty · 03/09/2011 12:59

Do they even know your daughter?

Also, the age gap seems to big

Your daughter is 2 years old and the youngest in the group is 4. It might not sound much but that is a big gap really.

TheProvincialLady · 03/09/2011 13:00

She is still a baby to them and FAR too young to be outside playing in the street. Other children don't owe your children friendship. Take her to soft play/the park/other places where she can play with children her own age, or invite people to your house.

IloveJudgeJudy · 03/09/2011 13:00

YABU. They are all of school age and your DD is nowhere near. I agree with cjbarlett about not playing in the street at under 3. what would you do if something happened to her while she was playing with them? I can't imagine you'd be very happy and would probably blame them. She's much younger than them; that's why they don't want to play with her.

worraliberty · 03/09/2011 13:02

Actually, as a Mother I would stop my children playing with a 2yr old in the streets because I wouldn't want them to feel responsible for her.

Takitezee · 03/09/2011 13:02

YABU. Some children just don't want to play with the younger ones, it's just the way it is.

Thumbwitch · 03/09/2011 13:02

She is still too young, honestly. And yes, she probably thinks that they are the bees knees, but seriously, they aren't going to want to play with a nearly 3yo.

It does break your heart the first few times you see your child rejected by others but you get hardened to it (not completely, but a bit).

2shoes · 03/09/2011 13:04

yabu
a 3 year old should not be "playing out"

GypsyMoth · 03/09/2011 13:05

I wouldn't want mine laying with one that young either

And kids won't want to play with her, she's too young!

SardineQueen · 03/09/2011 13:06

I feel sad for your DD but I do think you are being a little unreasonable. The older children would've had to do quite a bit to accomodate such a young child - looking after her really - and I think at that age they are too young to really get that or be expected to do it but at the same time they are too old to play with her at the same level.

So sorry YABU but i feel sad for your DD. She will be able to play out with them soon enough though Smile

Original poster
greengirl87 · 03/09/2011 13:09

i live in a square, so no cars can drive up there, and i do not leave her there without my supervision obviously! they had some cars out that she wanted to play with. They would not be responsible for her, as i wouldnt trust children of that age to look after a small child, i just didnt see the problem with her joining in for a little bit, and why they wouldnt speak to her.

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 03/09/2011 13:11

Cos to them she is boring!!

It was their game and their own toys? Really, can't you organise a 'playdate' with someone suitable?

FabbyChic · 03/09/2011 13:12

She is a BABY that is why. She is far too young to go outside and play with other children. They are not babysitters. Amuse her yourself do things with her at home don't throw her out in the street. Jesus what is the world coming to.

GypsyMoth · 03/09/2011 13:13

And also, your presence will be off putting for the other kids too. Having an adult hovering kind of hampers them! My 3 year old will play with his brother and friends for a bit, but they all get bored with him

coccyx · 03/09/2011 13:13

agree with fabbychic

WoofToYouTooLady · 03/09/2011 13:15

yabu

to a school age child a 2 yr old is a baby (quite correct actually) and just not interesting

sorry to be harsh

Original poster
greengirl87 · 03/09/2011 13:15

fabby chick, do you even read what people write? I AM OUTSIDE WITH HER WHEN SHE IS PLAYING OUT THERE!I am very insulted by you insinuating that i cast my child out as if i cannot be arsed to look after her! That is BS. i do not live in a street it is a square! no cars can drive up there!
And according to you children under 3 are too young to go outside???

OP posts:
worraliberty · 03/09/2011 13:16

If you're out there supervising her then why not get her a little car of her own?

That way she may over time (and I do mean a long time) get to know these other children without them feeling as though they somehow 'have' to play with her?

PercyPigPie · 03/09/2011 13:16

I think if I had been the mother I would have tried to initiate some sort of conversation between them all - to be polite. I think if you are there supervising then 3 is fine, but it would be superficial play I think, because she is so much younger.

Original poster
greengirl87 · 03/09/2011 13:17

i understand they may find her boring but i dont think they should just ignore her when she tries to talk to them

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 03/09/2011 13:17

Why so defensive op?? I live in a similiar car free place, bu I still don't expect others to play with my 3 year old!!

FabbyChic · 03/09/2011 13:18

She doesnt need to be out in the street at aged 2, and she is 2. My eldest did not go out to play in the street until he was 7 or 8. My youngest never went because he did not want to.

It breeds children who end up hanging around on street corners.

As others have said you being out there puts the other kids off they don't want an adult supervising them or watching them.

This is your child you amuse her.

GypsyMoth · 03/09/2011 13:18

Well they DID ignore her, there's nothing you can do about that one!

WoofToYouTooLady · 03/09/2011 13:19

look you cannot dictate who speaks to your DD

children are v honest, they haven't yet learnt the art of dissembling

get her some playdates and stop whining

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