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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

dating someone who has behaved improperly

331 replies

MitchiestInge · 28/08/2011 22:29

eg: if you were a patient in hospital and someone involved in your care got your number and asked you out, how bad would it be to go out with them? if they were nice obviously

I've been quite good at ignoring his calls, not that he has been very pestery, but today made arrangements to meet next week so on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being unspeakably stupid and 1 being barely registrable on idiocy scale how bad is it?

OP posts:

eicosapentaenoic · 29/08/2011 12:16

Listen to MN - tell him he's going to lose his job/career. Still about the McDonald's uniform.

Doyouthinktheysaurus · 29/08/2011 12:20

I speak as a Mental Health Nurse....his behaviour is appalling and you must report him.

Even if it wasn't a psych ward you say you were mentally unwell at the time and transferred to a psych ward....he really should have known better.

Plus to get your number from the notes

He sounds horrific and he really should not be working with vulnerable people.

I hope you are feeling better Mitch, take the advice on here and stay away. Don't have any doubts about reporting him please, there are clear boundaries and he crossed them!

fargate · 29/08/2011 12:29

I think that the difference between a nursing assistant and a healthcare assistant is that a nursing assistant is just one kind of healthcare assistant ie there are also midwife, pharmacy assistants etc.

Like purple says everyone who goes into hospital expects to be kept safe whilst they are there - eg physical illness involving poor mobility makes female patients more vulnerable to unwanted sexual attention, exploitation and abuse.

fargate · 29/08/2011 12:34

....and so does having ones freedom curtailed by being 'obliged' to be an in-patient on a psychiatric.

fargate · 29/08/2011 12:35

...unit.

PerryCombover · 29/08/2011 12:37

Can someone explain why my posts have been deleted from this thread?

loopylou6 · 29/08/2011 12:48

Dunno Perry but I've just read through this thread and I'm outraged by the way you where treated last night.

MrsCampbellBlack · 29/08/2011 12:51

Perry - that is outrageous - serioulsy they keep Izzy's crazy assertions and delete your posts.

Although to be fair pretty typical of around here at the moment

Catslikehats · 29/08/2011 12:53

perry I would assume Izzy complained to MN towers about the name you called her, which for the record was pretty inoffensive and more than deserved.

Very odd behaviour from posters last night.

PerryCombover · 29/08/2011 12:58

how can they honestly delete my very open and straightforward posts and yet allow Izzy's vile nonsense to remain here

I called her a div which means an idiot as far as I am aware
I called her an idiot this morning and stand by that

Catslikehats · 29/08/2011 12:59

The comments about Perry have probably stayed because MN don't always read the whole thread just the post that was reported. perry if you complain to MN towers they will delete what she said about you, but it then becomes very unsatisfactory because it appears that you have been engaging in inappropriate behaviour, when most people reading the thread would believe it justified.

I had this issue several weeks ago when someone accused me of being sick. I retaliated and called her a name and my posts were deleted. She then spent the entire thread making up comments that I hadn't made but becuse my posts had been deleted it was difficult to defend myself to new comers to the thread who were unable to see the bigger picture.

So I know this is a hijack (sorry ) but I really think that all but teh most offensive somments ought to stand, and yours were far from that.

ImperialBlether · 29/08/2011 13:00

I think his rank matters in that some people are able to access patient files as part of their job and some aren't. I know people like porters couldn't access the files without deception, but I'm not sure of people of other ranks than doctors.

OP - it's a 10 from me. He would have known from his training that he couldn't act like this. Please don't see it as a sign of his strong feelings for you. There were many, many other ways he could have acted if he'd fallen for you and he didn't take any of them.

He should be reported, even if all he gets is more training and a written warning.

Original poster

MitchiestInge · 29/08/2011 13:07

no idea what went on between izzy and perry or why some posts were deleted, am slightly Switzerland in that have no problem with either and think both were helpful

I have wondered whether I puke into cardboard bowls (lithium toxicity) in a particularly seductive way or if his was a more understandable response to my flirtatious comments - think I said something along the lines of 'who do I have to fellate in order to score some benzos/olives/wine' or whatever I was missing

OP posts:

eicosapentaenoic · 29/08/2011 13:10

sorry, but that is funny. Suggest when they release you, go out in Portsmouth with Fabby - if it's men in uniform, navy is the best IMO.

PerryCombover · 29/08/2011 13:12

careful with the lithium mitch sometimes hard to get the level right.....gruuughhh I remember it well

loopylou6 · 29/08/2011 13:15

Perry

Original poster

MitchiestInge · 29/08/2011 13:16

I am released! It was my shortest hospitalisation ever - 5 days in general hospital and maybe a week or so in the Other Place. Went out on leave and didn't return.

Would quite like to have therapy that turns me into a lesbian, but apparently is not an option even privately

OP posts:

loopylou6 · 29/08/2011 13:16

Mitch. please tell me that 'felate' doesn't mean oral sex?

FabbyChic · 29/08/2011 13:16

If you really said who do I have to blow then seriously what do you expect? Whilst it is not right there is a right way and a wrong way to present yourself, presenting yourself as if you'd blow someone for something is just plain wrong. Sorry honey it is it gives the wrong impression as if you are only a good time girl.

You aren't you are worth more than that.

FabbyChic · 29/08/2011 13:17

Loopy it means blow job.

Original poster

MitchiestInge · 29/08/2011 13:17

Is ok, it's over a decade since I started taking lithium although had a break for a few years

OP posts:

eicosapentaenoic · 29/08/2011 13:18

Nunnery?

BimboNo5 · 29/08/2011 13:19

You do sound a little like you invite some of the attention tbh Mitch, you are obviously at such a low ebb in your life sexual attention brings you some sort of comfort, but you KNOW its not love and its not appropriate at all.

loopylou6 · 29/08/2011 13:20

Totally agree with fabby, he obviously thinks you're umm up for a good time...

Original poster

MitchiestInge · 29/08/2011 13:23

yes definitely at lower than average ebb and it is possibly too gratifying to get attention from someone you would with, rather than a spotty adolescent or someone who is too camp or is a bit rapey or any other undesirable trait

does this sort of exonerate him a bit? I forgot people on here mostly wouldn't know how inappropriate my behaviour generally is

OP posts:

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