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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be fed up of feeling poor, dh on 45k i'm a sahm, we have no debts and a good life, yet i still feel a bit poor

403 replies

dovebird · 25/08/2011 22:14

we don't have money worries, our house is worth a fair bit more[40k at least] more than we owe on it, i'm happy being a sahm, we have a happy marraige on the whole,healthy as far as we know,nice car, been one one holiday abroad this year and 5 weekends away in uk.
we have a largeish 3 bedroom house which more than meets our needs
we get to have days out and meals out fairly often

i am surrounded by wealthy people though, with huge houses and very good lifestyles [ie gardeners, cleaners, never do their own d.i.y etc]

i'm fed up of feeling poor all time.

OP posts:
AuntiePickleBottom · 25/08/2011 23:00

poor you.

i live in social housing, with 1000s of debt and never been abroad

BeerTricksPotter · 25/08/2011 23:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bubblesincoffee · 25/08/2011 23:00

Aside from the fact that this is probably a wind up, what's so terrible about someone feeling that way?

Feeling skint is relative.

pictish · 25/08/2011 23:00

Oh stop it. Do not feed.

lachesis · 25/08/2011 23:03

'I think my prossie days are behind me so I will have to take in washing.'

No way, TheCrack! If Wayne Rooney can pay for the services of such women of the night as Auld Slapper, I reckon there's a niche in the market.

MrsMcgee · 25/08/2011 23:06

I'll swap if you like?

HansieMom · 25/08/2011 23:08

I do understand. My DIL and son were house shopping, and they bought in a quite pleasant but not posh area, as the lifestyle in those places was not what they wanted. Their mortgage is not very big. Their house is a 4 bed, 2.5 bath, new cars (one is a perk), life is very comfy but it is not a McMansion on the river with luxury cars, expensive furniture, and someone else doing yard care.

Valpollicella · 25/08/2011 23:09

But, but, but....if you overfeed trolls, like other animals, don't they eventually die through overfeeding?

Or at least get too fat to get close enough to the keyboard

Feminine · 25/08/2011 23:09

Angry not nice ... especially with so much genuine poverty around!

NorfolkBroad · 25/08/2011 23:09

Agree with the above but weirdly I had a similar conversation with a very old friend from the states on the phone this afternoon. She had been in touch with my brothers on facebook and remarked that it is incredible and annoying that they are both very wealthy and that I am not and said that it must really piss me off!!! Why would it?!

spiderslegs · 25/08/2011 23:13

Wot BeerTricks sed.

I've no idea how you afford all that on 45k.

Did you sell your caps lock?

BeerTricksPotter · 25/08/2011 23:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Valpollicella · 25/08/2011 23:15

Is there a little stall in your local shopping centre that instead of doing 'Cash for Gold' is 'Cash for Caps'

blackeyedsusan · 25/08/2011 23:15

attitude. look around at those worse off than you and thank your lucky stars.

and I am richer than you, despite having a lot less because I am moer often satisfied with what I have got, and Know that I have a lot more than most of the people in the world.

FriggFRIGG · 25/08/2011 23:20

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BrawToken · 25/08/2011 23:21

Lidl wouldn't accept my platinum Amex today. I empathise op.

spiderslegs · 25/08/2011 23:22

Too right, 180k mortgage tops, £1100 a month over 20 years (at v favourable rates), 45k should give about 2.5k a month after tax & NI

So, you're telling me 1.5K a month leaves enough to pay all bills, supports the three of you & pays for holidays abroad, a weekend away every other month, meals & days out & a nice car in the drive???

Either you have a healthy credit card balance or you're living in a dream world [crosses arms with Beer].

spiderslegs · 25/08/2011 23:24

Or you're 15.

greencolorpack · 25/08/2011 23:25

Lol @ 5inthebed. Lumpy custard!!! Lol

BeerTricksPotter · 25/08/2011 23:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

libelulle · 25/08/2011 23:29

Tbh it sounds like you're living beyond your means. We are in a similar financial situation to yours and certainly can't afford 5 weekends away and a holiday a year along with regular meals out. Difference being that I don't feel poor - rather incredibly lucky that I can spend a while as a sahm, live in a nice but not extravagant house, and not lie awake at night worrying about bills.

I liked the point made above about this kind of thinking being like acid corroding your soul. I'd rather live on thin air than become so bitter and jealous. Bet those millionaires in their 8 bed houses are thinking 'ooh, wish I had a swimming pool too'. Don't kid yourself, with your attitude you'd feel poor on ten times your current income.

baboos · 25/08/2011 23:30

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fit2drop · 25/08/2011 23:38

Surely this is one of them threads were we can tell OP to get a grip and remind her of people in far worse circumstances.

OP would not be happy if her income was millions , she would be envious of people on multi millions,etc etc

when you judge your lifes happiness in materialistic ways you can never be properly happy.

OP needs a walk round a few hospitals and maybe a volunteers job in a soup kitchen

NorfolkBroad · 25/08/2011 23:42

When I said I agree with the above I did NOT mean the OP!

YossarianLives · 25/08/2011 23:54

Your family income is £45k? How can you afford all the stuff? Hmm