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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be fed up of feeling poor, dh on 45k i'm a sahm, we have no debts and a good life, yet i still feel a bit poor

403 replies

dovebird · 25/08/2011 22:14

we don't have money worries, our house is worth a fair bit more[40k at least] more than we owe on it, i'm happy being a sahm, we have a happy marraige on the whole,healthy as far as we know,nice car, been one one holiday abroad this year and 5 weekends away in uk.
we have a largeish 3 bedroom house which more than meets our needs
we get to have days out and meals out fairly often

i am surrounded by wealthy people though, with huge houses and very good lifestyles [ie gardeners, cleaners, never do their own d.i.y etc]

i'm fed up of feeling poor all time.

OP posts:
creamola · 25/08/2011 22:20

your idea of poor is flawed

poor is not what you have

you are not poor

Panzee · 25/08/2011 22:20

My cleaner's being deported. I'm devastated.

TakeMeDrunkImHome · 25/08/2011 22:20

Shame it isn't funny. Could do with a good wind up funny thread.

Lilyloo · 25/08/2011 22:20

Obviously a wind up , but fair play you getting a great response

MaMattoo · 25/08/2011 22:21

Stop comparing and trying to keep up. You have no debt and a decent income. Be thankful for what you have and hang around people who are not all about material wealth.
Appreciate!! Accept!! Also don't rub it in as not too many people are as fortunate as you.

QuintessentialShadow · 25/08/2011 22:21

ok, trying to treat your post seriously.

You need to either

  1. make new friends
  2. get a well paid job, if you also brin gin 45k, you will be 3 times as well off.
  3. get some perspective.
Smile
TakeMeDrunkImHome · 25/08/2011 22:21

I was paying my elderly mother £4.00 an hour to clean my 7 bed house, that's fair isn't it? I threw in the tea bags for free ffs.....

RachelHRD · 25/08/2011 22:21

Interesting first post.... Hmm

Btw don't tell anyone but a MORTGAGE is actually a debt Shock.........

princessglitter · 25/08/2011 22:21

Sometimes I feel poor and we earn more than you, but have crippling childcare costs and failed to benefit from the property boom (so we have little equity and an unimpressive house).

However I recognise that we are not really poor and I think the same holds true for you.

Poor does not mean that you cannot afford everything you desire. It means being unable to afford essentials on a regular basis. On 45K you should not be having to decide between food and heat.

Being a SAHM is also a luxury! I would love to be in that position.

LynetteScavo · 25/08/2011 22:22

You need to surround yourself with poor people. Or it could be the death of you. Honestly, I'm not joking.

I read some where once, (no idea where now!) that some proper researches did some proper reasearch and discovered that it is not good for your physical or mental health to be surrounded by people who are higher achieving than you. They even discovered that Hollywood actors who win Oscars live longer than those who don't. So if you have the small house in the road, you are fecked. You need to move to a sink estate and you will feel fabulous.

HTH Smile

porcamiseria · 25/08/2011 22:22

REDHOTPOKERS your name scares me :(

Original poster
dovebird · 25/08/2011 22:23

i know, i agree, i must be an arsehole or something

but i can't help feeling envious that others have cleaners and gardeners and about 5/7 holidays abroad a year

i wouldn't want to live in a poorer area, but we are definatley the worst off round here, perhaps an area with a wider mix of people would be nice.

just a few more "normal ones" well normal by my standards of living i mean.

OP posts:
QuintessentialShadow · 25/08/2011 22:24

I have a few friends who are extremely wealthy. But I dont need all that they have to be happy! Honestly! Who needs a 4 million pound house, their own swimming pool and spa? It is grotesque.

pissedrightoff · 25/08/2011 22:24

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

YellowWallpaper · 25/08/2011 22:24

There is no way this can be serious

QuintessentialShadow · 25/08/2011 22:24

Lynette is right btw.

Clary · 25/08/2011 22:25

Hmm Why would you be envious of people who have 5-7 hols abroad a year?

Think of all the packing and airport delays Grin

Seriously, enjoy what you have. It sounds lovely.

AuntieMonica · 25/08/2011 22:25

IMO you don't feel poor, OP

you feel jealousy

Fatshionista · 25/08/2011 22:25

:( I'm on benefits. Lend us a tenner?

princessglitter · 25/08/2011 22:26

Really - I would say there are bigger problems in the world! You are entitled to have a moan, but how do you think your post would look to someone struggling to support a family on minimum wage?

ForkInTheForeheid · 25/08/2011 22:27

Seriously think you need something to distract you as you're obviously sitting pining for the material things of others when you've got plenty of your own. That suggests to me that you need to occupy your head with something more interesting/stimulating. Perhaps a part-time job, course or hobby would be an idea.

BeerTricksPotter · 25/08/2011 22:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CoteDAzur · 25/08/2011 22:28

Ooh, you should come live here in Monaco.

clappyhands · 25/08/2011 22:28

i am one of the people you are jealous of Grin

well, i have the big house, etc, etc

still waiting on my child benefit tomorrow as nothing in the pot

be careful what you wish for........................

pissedrightoff · 25/08/2011 22:28

Her prada purse is to small for her £100 notes and her diamond shoes are too tight.