'I'm pregnant with their baby'

[tryingtobemarypoppins2]

AIBU to find this really hard to watch.....emotional mess watching it!

Perhaps they haven't come to terms with using a surroget either. I don't think it makes them bad people, but I agree Louise that you both should've gone through an agency.

Twobob they don't sound like the right couple for anyone! It is really horrid they way that you have been treated, the couple should be open and honest to the child when it gets old enough to understand and deal with it all.

They should arrange say once every six months and send you photos and letters occasionally if they don't want to see you regularly.

Thanks all for posting about your experiences, twobob i was appauled the way that couple treated you.

I think that the couple need to realise and appreciate that without you they would not be parents.

twobob I think you did a lovely thing and handled it admirably. I believe what goes around comes around and lots of nice things will happen for you down the line.

I think Mrs Milton is my MIL!

I have nothing but respect and admiration for twobob and lyndsey. You both came across as amazing mums as well.

twobob - you should report the thread and get it pulled though, it wont be that long before the baby can read - nothing ever disappears in cyberspace.

If I were Louise's couple I would be thankful everytime I pick up that baby, of the gift that she gave to me and would not forget it.

omnishambles I don't think it will be anytime soon, by the time the 'baby' discovers MN he will probably be an adult and the thread will be long gone. He will hopefully know the truth of his being anyway

The second they told me to pay up for it, would be the last time they saw my child at all, tbh.

lachesis, surrogates are not selling a baby, or exchanging for cash. Regardless of any money or expenses crossing hands, that baby is not, never was, and never will be the surrogates child. It's not her baby. Intended parents who don't keep their side of the bargain by meeting all costs should be ashamed of themselves, but the surrogate still has no right to keep their baby.

Surrogacy is all about trust, on all sides. As we have seen on this thread, the surrogate keeping the baby isn't the only thing that can go wrong.

I agree with Geepers. It was never my baby to keep - even though it was my biological child. It was created for someone other than myself and I was fully aware what that entailed. However, if i had decided to keep him, there would have been nothing the couple could have done to stop me. Legally, i would have been granted full custody of the baby - not just because of it's genetics, but because i was going through a pregnancy that i had to treat as my own because of their uninvolvement, any court would have deemed the baby morally and legally mine. I decided not to keep him (although even my own doctors where in disagreement with me over it).

The drama wasn't over when he was born either, the couple asked me to lie to the court when the parental order was through, to say that they had given me all the expenses i needed throughout the pregnancy, because that's what they'd told him and if i said otherwise it could result in the parental order not going through! By this point he was 4 months old... I had no contact with him and I felt like, if i didn't lie and he ended up in some twisted custody battle then it would be a horrible start fo life for him. I want the very best for my surrogateson, he is still my son after all... So i lied. And they passed the parental order. And i haven't heard from them since.

That is sad twobob what ungrateful individuals. Everytime they look at your son they should be reminded of the gift YOU gave to them, without you they would not be parents. ARe you going to do it again?

definitely get to know couples better to see if they are right full stop!

I watched this on iplayer last night and it made me very sad. I also didn't really understand the legality of your situation twobob. That couple seemed very shifty about the whole thing, I understand the programme would have been edited, what struck me particuarly was that they had chose to follow very young surrogates, but it seemed they were just using you. Why did you agree to use your own eggs? Geniunely interested as the end result is you giving away your own child, which I imagine makes the whole process much harder.

Program made me wonder why anyone ever agrees to take part in this type of program... I tend to agree that the couple with "twobob" certainly didn't come across well but you know prog was presumably edited to make it interesting/involving viewing.. if everyone had seemed lovely who'd have been still watching at end..... I'd be a bit uneasy with some of the remarks being made here about the couple involved without maybe hearing their side too...

I started to watch this on bbc player after seeing this thread yesterday, but I couldn't as it seemed too distressing. Twobob, I am so sorry that those awful people treated you so badly. They sound absolutely disgusting and don't deserve the amazing thing that you did for them.

twobob what a time you've had. i really feel for you- it's an amazing thing you've done for that couple. I'm sorry they can't show you the appreciation you deserved. In a strange way I can understand that they don't want to think about or face how he was created, as they want him to feel totally theirs. I hope that they are eternally grateful to you, in their own way, although i appreciate it's not much help to you.

yamayama all they wanted was a child of their own. No, they didn't behave well towards twobob but it's so unfair to say that they don't deserve that beautiful child that most people can have so easily.

Actually, if the biological mother decides to keep the baby, the courts almost always force her to hand it over.

Sorry Ellan, but if they can't even treat twobob with any kindness after the truly amazing and wonderful thing she was prepared to do for them, then I dont think they do deserve something so precious. They sound despicable to me and I hope that they read this.

twobob it was lovely to hear from you and read your experiences, although very sad that things did not all go well for you during the pregnancy and your relationship with the couple. LyndsayMumandSurro thank you too for coming on and telling us more. I was very moved by the skin-to-skin contact and the plight of the couple who you were a surrogate for. Thank you to all those lovely ladies who shared their experiences of being surrogates.