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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not let my 10 year old DD read Twilight?

134 replies

inatrance · 23/08/2011 22:09

My 10 year old DD is a very keen reader and has read all Harry Potter, some Phillip Pullman etc and is now desperate to read Twilight.

My take on this has been a firm 'no' but earlier today in the library DD had her friend with her (who is 11) and kept on and on about it and that her friend had read it and I caved and let her take them out.

I still wasn't happy about it, my reasons being that I don't feel that books with a 'romantic' theme are suitable for a 10 year old and also that I feel that Twilight gives some seriously dodgy messages for a young girl about what 'love' is and isn't. I also think Edward is a controlling arse and that Stephanie Mayer ought to be shot for teaching a generation of teenage girls that love=control and that life without a boyfriend just isn't worth living. That's just for starters.

My DH agrees that Twilight is unsuitable reading for a child (he used to be a children's librarian) so we have decided that it's best that she doesn't read them.

However I read all sorts of stuff at her age and I'm worried that by banning it, it will take on even greater appeal. So I'm a bit torn.

DD still isn't speaking to me and thinks I'm being desperately unreasonable. Am I?

OP posts:
TakeMeDrunkImHome · 23/08/2011 22:11

Ooh I agree, Edward is an ahole who has very serious control issues and Bella is a complete wimp/sap who very much needs to get a hold of some self esteem.

Other than that the books are fairly harmless but when my DD is old enough I will be pushing her with a stick directing her at something a little less "oooh im a helpless little female" for her reading material Grin

rhondajean · 23/08/2011 22:14

I think so, Edward is no more controlling than Mr Darcy in Pride and Prejudice, 10 year olds love romance in a nonthreatening way, the whole series is basically a morality play and to be honest as entertaining as it is, Id say its pitched firmly and properly at the 10 - 14 year old market.

She will grow out of it. Without a doubt. Its the Barbies of the 10 - 14 market. We may shake our heads, but theres little real harm done.

And imho, the more different things my kids read, the more they understand about the world and diversity and different viewpoints, and the more they can make their own judgements on whats good and bad. Within reason obviously (kicks "the book of O" firmly under couch).

TakeMeDrunkImHome · 23/08/2011 22:16

(IMO the real problem is that they didn't rate it 15 and allow the young man who plays the werewolf to remove his top more often Shock he's old enough, right?? RIGHT??)

Moulesfrites · 23/08/2011 22:18

I think by censoring it you will make it more attractive to her.

You sound quite familiar with the plot and characters yourself, and your dd is obviously bright. If you let her read them you could discuss with her the dynamics of Bella and Edward's relationship and the message the book sends?

MissVerinder · 23/08/2011 22:19

I'm not trying to be an arse here (it just happens) but could you read it as well (if you haven't already) and have a book club type discussion at the end of each book as a compromise?

Maybe then you could put the messages into context, discuss a bit about the author and why she wrote that way?

I personally love twilight, but then I have ishoos with being the dominant one in about every relationship I have (I'm a right bossy caah), so I quite enjoy the submissive context of Bella.

Ahem.

bonnieslilsister · 23/08/2011 22:19

Have you read it yourself? It is actually very readable and I would think fine for a 10 year old girl. I think my daughter was 11 when she read them and loved them so much! Kids take what they are able from a book and if she read them again now at 14 she would read a completely different story. I would have no concerns especially if she has read Harry Potter but I dont think I would stop her reading a book at all really.

MissVerinder · 23/08/2011 22:19

x-post Moules

maypole1 · 23/08/2011 22:19

I have the same issue my cild has a very high reading age which I want to encourage but not expose him to older theams

So I have gone with the classics which he is loosing very much

Lord of files
Treasure island

Moulesfrites · 23/08/2011 22:21

I would say the descent into savagery in Lord of the Flies is quite a sophisticated theme!

MissVerinder · 23/08/2011 22:22

Hi maypole and bonnie

bonnieslilsister · 23/08/2011 22:23

why hello MissVerinder

rhondajean · 23/08/2011 22:23

I found my mums copy of Jane Eyre and read it under the covers at seven, much of the stuff about the abusive childhood and the "mad" wife in the attic passed me by at that age, its true you take what you are capable of from books.

LindyHemming · 23/08/2011 22:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissVerinder · 23/08/2011 22:25

I worked in a bookshop when I was 16 (It was a Blackwells, get me!), and by jingo did I get my eyes opened!

I also read Lady Chatterly's lover at 12, which blew me away. It's still one of may favourites 10 20 years later.

MissVerinder · 23/08/2011 22:26

*Chatterley

TotemPole · 23/08/2011 22:27

If you do as MissVerinder & Moulesfrites suggest, can you also point out to her that real vampires do not sparkle in sun light.

MorelliOrRanger · 23/08/2011 22:32

I've just read these books and tbh the first one isn't so bad. I'm not sure though at 10 I'd want my DD to read it. The control issues get worse as you go through them. I'm reading Eclipse at the moment and I just want to bloody punch Bella. What a manipulative bitch she is.

It is aimed at young adults so I would say 10 isn't that.

MorelliOrRanger · 23/08/2011 22:33

Sorry. Maybe you could read it first one then at least you know what the story is like.

Original poster
inatrance · 23/08/2011 22:37

You see I have read them all and despite my reservations about the underlying messages (and the fact that they are shoddily written), I did even sort of enjoy them.

I think Bella is a crap heroine though and an awful role model, I did want to reach in the book and give her a shake many times..

The difference being that I think that I am an adult, and I suppose that having been in abusive relationships and having read extensively about them I see the red flags, whereas as you said Rhondajean, a 10 year old would see it quite differently.

I have to say I'm with you TMDIH, more top removal would have been better...

This is indicative of my DD wanting desperately to be older, she's getting into boys and also really wants to dye her hair and thinks I'm incredibly mean to not let her. Confused

OP posts:
rhondajean · 23/08/2011 22:46

Aww I know, its horrible isnt it, she is a crap heroine though I liked the message that amazing things can happen to girls who dont think they are very special and that other people might just think you are amazing - which is what Ive tried to reinforce.

I think I might be a bit overly lenient on the reading front tbh - my 11 year old is pretty mature, and also my mother was a censorer of the sort that removed everything with any connection to the supernatural from my bookcase as it was demonic (and that included fairy tales) so I want dds to be able to read and talk to me about it.

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 23/08/2011 22:48

I must be the only person in the western world who has never read these books or watched the movies so maybe not much help.

Think with things like this the more you try to ban it, the more likely your DD will go ahead and read the books anyway- but sneakily.

Could you maybe use the opputunity to have a discussion with your DD about relationships if Whatevertheirnamesare are as bad you say? My mum and I once had a very long discussion about Ross' insecurity ishoos after watching Friends Grin think I was about 11 at the time and had just seen the one where he went insane with jeslousy at Rachel and they'd gone on their break.

MadameBoo · 23/08/2011 22:51

It's bloody awful, and doesn't bear feminist analysis, but I'd let her read it and then discuss it with her. (Of course I've read them all too, and seen all the films :o).

exoticfruits · 23/08/2011 22:57

I don't know them, but if my mother had banned them when I was 10yrs I would really want to read them and would make sure that I managed it!

VictorGollancz · 23/08/2011 23:08

I'd let her read them, but I'd be making sure I was making plenty of comments regarding the SHITNESS of Meyer's writing and the fact that she's not skilled enough to disguise her considerable agenda.

As someone who was a big fan of George Orwell's very sad farmyard story that is all about greedy pigs and not at all about the Russian revolutions and the dangers of totalitarianism, I agree that children take what they understand from books. But Meyer really goes that extra mile to make sure that the reader is in no doubt, ever, that Bella is shit and can't cope and that Edward is her saviour and therefore being in a relationship with someone who knows where you are all the time and enters your house and your bedroom without your consent is A Good Thing.

And Mr Darcy is a dick but rude and arrogant isn't even on the scale of Edward Cullen. Quite honestly, the last time I read of a man who behaves in the way he does it was on the website of Women's Aid.

rhondajean · 23/08/2011 23:13

I suppose Darcy is redeemed at the end - I may have been a bit hard on him.....

He does almost ruin Janes life though, remember (by spoiling her chances of making a good marraige, in a perverse twist to this conversation - oh how times change)