SWI = Shagging With Intent - is that like the time the bloke that chatted me up in the club turned out to be married to the bitchcunt who bullied me at school so I took him back to her bed and went at him like a very naughty rabbit until the mattress caught fire just because I could?
(re no cleaning - I had a "small" heart attack 2 years ago, and they put one of those stent things in to fix it, but wouldn't put one in the other branch of the artery because it "wasn't bad enough and if you still get chest pain we'll look again" Two weeks ago today "the Big One" hit and I went down like the proverbial sack of shite, full on TV style clutching chest and screaming in pain and all that. Next thing I know paramedics are jumping all over me - didn't feel the zap, just heard a BANG and opened my eyes to tell the kids to Stop That Right Now and then I must have said "kids" and they brought them all in and the paramedic said "say goodbye to Mummy" at which point I started to really worry, then I woke up again in hospital and it was Sunday and they'd put more stents in and apparently as long as I "behave myself" I should be hot to trot for a few more years yet. I am very fat and I smoked again, after stopping for a year, and basically it served me right so to speak but if they'd just done the second side when they did the first it wouldn't have happened which is a bit of a pisser. Anyway I get to lose weight - which I've planned for years cos youngest starts school in sept - and stop smoking again - which I am BITTERLY pissed off about but it can't be helped. Good news is, wine is AOK, and there's my life history in a nutshell lol, bet you weren't prepared for that and if you're still reading, have a biskwit 
oh and I'm changing GP cos mine said, and I quote "the only thing wrong with you is you're fat, look at you. Stop eating woman" 
)