7yo dd was told at swimming pool to wear the top part of her bikini

[vacaloca]

I sent the kids to a holiday club today where they have a pool. They were wearing the bottom part of a bikini and the 7yo (very skinny as well) was told to wear the top part of her bikini tomorrow. I think that's just weird and I'm feeling a bit upset about it. AIBU?

[ReshapeWhileDamp]

Though, EssexVic, if the OP's daughter were being asked to cover her top half up for eating, then why not just a t-shirt? Boys aren't covering up their tops for swimming - why should small girls have to?

NoNoNoMYDoit - actually, someone posted a Boden link upthread, and there were indeed bikinis from 2 yrs up.

[LadyBeagleEyes]

Just to add to my last post, if little girls want to wear bikinis that's fine.
I'd just rather see them running round in just the bottoms, they have no boobs, so there is no point covering up their upper chest area at all.

[MillyR]

DD always wore bottoms only for swimming at that age. We went camping in France most Summers when I was a kid, so I am used to it being really normal for primary school age girls just to wear bottoms. I bought DD's clothes from the Cyrillus catalogue, and they only sold the bottoms for DD's age - no matching top. I've seen little German girls on holiday doing the same thing.

I can see because of the issue of skin cancer that both boys and girls should be covered up in the sun, but cannot see any point to the top half of a tankini being worn only by girls. One pieces are clearly a hygiene issue on children who are too young to get them on and off easily to use the loo at a pool.

It is up to the girls and the parents to work out when to start covering up. There should be no need for a kids club to have to create rules on the basis that some child might go into puberty without their parents noticing. If parents are that inobservant, then kids clubs would also have to make up rules about size of costume in case parents failed to notice their kids had gotten taller. Ridiculous. Why do parents in the UK want their kids to grow up so fast that even while swimming they dress little girls like adult women?

[lovemysleep]

reshape - icky, my arse!

I'd be perfectly happy for DD to just wear the pants - she likes to wear the top, so I let her. It's purely innocent, and I find it sad that people see something wrong with it.

Now, if she was entering some mad American beauty pageant, fair enough.

[GypsyMoth]

so this happened in spain?

[Bunbaker]

"I think that's just weird and I'm feeling a bit upset about it."

I don't think it is weird and I don't understand why you should feel upset either. On the continent it is common practice for little girls to just wear little swim pants, but in all honesty I have never seen a 7 year old girl in just bikini bottoms in a pool in the UK. I don't find bikinis on girls yuck or just bikini bottoms yuck either, but it is just common practice in the UK to either wear the entire bikini or a one piece swimsuit.

What does your daughter say? DD went swimming with the school at 7 and she would had died of embarrassment if I had just provided her with bikini bottoms because she wouldn't want to look "different" from the other girls.

[biddysmama]

my 2 year old has a bikini.... its not one of those primark push up bikini things, its just a cute little 2 piece

[LithaR]

Its sad how many people find breasts so offensive. I used to love swimming topless as a girl, it wasn't until i was made to feel uncomfortable by other girls that i stopped.

Such a shame that as kids we are already made to feel ashamed of our bodies, no wonder there are so many eating disorders and cosmetic surgery addicts. :(

[vacaloca]

no, it happened in the UK. DD wanted only the bottom bit - I asked her. Tomorrow she'll be wearing the swimsuit.

[worraliberty]

OP did you ask them why your DD has to cover up?

[ILoveDolly]

he he he festi I only added that the bikini was boden because I wanted to explain - obliquely- why I let her wear it. I generally take the view that expensive gifts should be accepted gratefully. And there IS a difference between a Primark cossie and a Boden one. The fabric is nice and thick, doesn't go clingy in the water and it has a nice old fashioned cut. Perhaps the very Boden-ness of it was what made it acceptable (to me) although I am personally not a fan of that brand.

[TartyMcFarty]

Actually it's a bit weird that you can't buy just bikini bottoms in this country.. YANBU, but I suppose the holiday club are just going with cultural norms.

[vacaloca]

I didn't ask them because they didn't mention it when I picked them up. DD mentioned it this afternoon at home.

[FootsFirst]

can we out cultural in inverted commas tarty?

[festi]

the boden remark was to others up thread who said boden do some very nice bikinis for children etc etc. I dont think it makes a differnece in terms of whether it is or is not accepatble, but yes quality Im sure is far better, but acceptability would make no difference.

[ILoveDolly]

I don't think it really matters what they wear per se - it's just a question of whether the pool is being too overtly paranoic about safeguarding, isn't it? The whole moral outrage ref bikinis has me a bit nonplussed.

[PattySimcox]

I guess the club see this as protecting themselves the child.

Bikinis very much more convenient than full costume for loo purposes.

My DD 7yo would want to cover up. Not sure where she gets her modesty from as we all walk round naked at home. Nonetheless if she wants to wear a bikini top why the outrage?

[mrswoodentop]

Surely a little girls bikini is just a swimming costume with the middle missing.Those people saying that they are wrong because they have nothing to put in the top half ,well they have nothing to put on the top half of a costume either

I had a bikini in the sixties as did all my friends (I was 5 1970).My
Mother (mrs buttoned up ) most definately did not regard it as a sexual garment.

[ILoveDolly]

It's probably because you go nude at home I'm a right prude round the house and my daughter flings of her clothes at the drop of a hat

[exoticfruits]

I still think it is merely that a public swimming pool and summer club staff have to be really careful-they would be mad not to in this day and age.

Parents have brought it on themselves-it is the reason you can't take photographs and all the other things that you used to do.
Some mothers get paranoid about paedophiles -and the men are not supposed to know this-they are supposed to innocently put themselves in compromising situations! Men do know and they are paranoid about being careful.

If my DS had a summer job with DCs I would feel the need to say-however mad it seems to you-make sure little girls cover up and don't touch them!

[hellymelly]

I don't quite understand why swimsuits are fine,but bikinis not,given that both are designed to cover up the chest? Although I agree that bikinis with bra like tops are rather horrible on breastless little girls . When boys wore swimsuits too,back in the 30's and 40's, children looked sweetly alike.Can't get why they shouldn't both just be in pants now. The French websites I buy clothes from always have a wide range of little bottoms for girls,not just babies,whereas here there seems to be a strange cut off point around the time they stop wearing nappies that girls need to cover up their chest. My dds are six and four,they usually wear swimsuits,or a tankini,but I would happily let them run about on the beach in just bottoms .the only reason I cover them up is to avoid sunburn and to have less areas to smother with horrible sun cream.

[exoticfruits]

Added to that a lot of parents just don't like it! They might complain. A recent thread on MN about a woman on the beach with naked 6 yr olds brought out many, many posters against it.
It is far simpler, all in all, to just ask a 7yr old to wear the whole outfit.

[meditrina]

tartymcfarty you can buy just bottoms from Lands End Kids (they do a mix/match range).

I think it might have been me who mentioned Boden - it was only meant as easy stereotype of a definitely non-tarty range of children's swimwear which always includes bikinis.

[vacaloca]

it's the term 'cover up'. What does one consider being 'covered up' then? Presumably we're talking nipples here. In a 7yo. As I said, that's just sad.