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AIBU?

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Original poster

7yo dd was told at swimming pool to wear the top part of her bikini

333 replies

vacaloca · 15/08/2011 21:48

I sent the kids to a holiday club today where they have a pool. They were wearing the bottom part of a bikini and the 7yo (very skinny as well) was told to wear the top part of her bikini tomorrow. I think that's just weird and I'm feeling a bit upset about it. AIBU?

OP posts:
AnnieLobeseder · 15/08/2011 23:06

I'm baffled by people who are horrified by girls in bikinis but think full swimming costumes are the answer. Don't they cover the chest area as well? How are they drawing less attention to the fact that the child in question is female and will one day have breasts?

Now, swimming trunks for all children I'm in favour of.

When I was a kid in South Africa, bikinis were favoured by we girls precisely because we could wear it without the top - far cooler and more comfortable. Full costumes were only for school.

MillyR · 15/08/2011 23:06

MRD, not following you, sorry. Personally, I was born with a vagina but didn't develop breasts until puberty.

If it was about extent of nudity, boys and girls would be required to cover up the same amount of skin. They're not, because as MQ has explained, it is a developmental issue that the staff have to make a decision on in the absence of a parent.

halcyondays · 15/08/2011 23:07

There is a borderline for girls Because public swimming pools in the UK don't let women swim topless.

Plonker · 15/08/2011 23:08

Wow, some seriously funny attitudes on here

Firstly, she is 7. How it's inappropriate to wear bottoms only is truly beyond me. She has no breasts and if her hair was cut short, I'm assuming would look no different to any other 7 year old boy.
I cannot for the life of me see the problem Confused

Secondly, what's with the outrage on bikini's? Did I miss the part where it was said that they had two handprints on each side of the top, with tassles off the nipples? Or maybe the kiss-me quick sign on the bottoms? How odd. Hmm

FWIW, OP, I'd just go along with it in the interest of peace. Bloody bonkers though.

Kladdkaka · 15/08/2011 23:08

You know, here, telling a female of any age to cover her top half at the swimming baths would have you up in court for discrimination.

MillyR · 15/08/2011 23:08

K, where are you from?

LadyBeagleEyes · 15/08/2011 23:10

YY with Annie, I've been trying to say the same thing but you put it so much more succinctly.

Kladdkaka · 15/08/2011 23:10

MumblingRagDoll there was a campaign here called Bara-bröst (only breasts) that fought for equality in this area. They won.

Kladdkaka · 15/08/2011 23:11

I from Sweden. Naked sauna anyone?

FabbyChic · 15/08/2011 23:12

She is too old to be walking about with no top on.

There is a kinda dress code at swimming pools, either it's adhered to or you swim elsewhere. I'd have to guess that it's a peado's paradise at the swimming baths.

MightyQuim · 15/08/2011 23:12

Because while it might be appropriate for a 3 year old to have no top on - it isn't appropriate for a 30 yr old. There will be a point in between those times were girls will begin to develop breasts and in our culture showing breasts at the pool isn't appropriate so if unaccompanied kids or kids in clubs don't choose to cover themselves there has to be rules in place. I don't think it is something that you could put an age limit on as some kids develop early/late and you obviously couldn't be 'checking' if a top is necessary so a blanket rule that everyone must wear tops is the easiest way with the least potential for embarrassment imo. Even if the OP's child is, as she says, flat as a pancake. If staff let her in without a top one of her slightly older/more developed friends might want to just wear bottoms and as I said earlier it would be slightly creepy and inappropriate for staff to be assessing girls level of breast development at the poolside.

MillyR · 15/08/2011 23:13

Do lots of women now swim in pools topless, K?

DitaVonCheese · 15/08/2011 23:13

This thread is giving me one of those MN parallel universe moments like when everyone is outraged that the OP has left her washing in the machine for 20 minutes after it's finished or something (for the record, my washing has been on the line for about three days now).

I was looking for a bikini for 2yo DD the other day fully intending only to use the bottom bits (because a bra on a toddler would be weird, no? and I hate swimsuits personally, all that wet fabric around your midriff, ugh). I wore just pants every year on our summer holiday in France for years and years, until puberty I think.

YANBU OP.

Kladdkaka · 15/08/2011 23:18

At the swimming baths some do, but not many. Although all wander around the changing room (no cubicles here), showers and saunas totally starkers. Showering naked before getting in the pool is compulsory.

At the beach, most go topless. I rarely see a covered pair at the beach, not that I'm looking or anything.

Kladdkaka · 15/08/2011 23:19

Must qualify last post with 'in my experience'.

stillsurvinghols · 15/08/2011 23:22

Having lived in the sun bikinis have a good place and are super easy and friendly to use if a child would like to nip to the toilet. I don't quite get all the hysteria in the UK about sexualising children when I think by being all "no, no" about it we make it worse. It's the wiggling of the bums and the behaviour that sexualises anything. I didn't see any of this going on in Western Australia with young girls wearing bikinis I have to say.......

On the other hand I wouldn't send my daughter out without covering up at 7 so I would like her to wear a top.

Kladdkaka · 15/08/2011 23:23

Forgot, at the lakes, which is where most people swim in Sweden, it's not that unusual to see people completely naked. Both men and women.

stillsurvinghols · 15/08/2011 23:23

mistake in there "sexualises things"

missuswife · 15/08/2011 23:27

You are not BU. When we were young, my mother let us bath naked until we started school and then we only wore bottoms until we had something to cover up. But, we did wear one-piece swim suits to swimming lessons, which seems fair to me.

Mimile · 15/08/2011 23:31

bikini tops on little girls - one of my pet hates. Why hiding their chests?

I am spending a couple of weeks with DD in France, we are a the local pool every day, and all the little girls are wearing trunks. No tops.
At the local beach, it's quite usual for the children to go without and stay naked.

I wore bikini bottoms only until the age to 11-ish. No one ever said anything.

HansieMom · 15/08/2011 23:34

I think those bikinis at Boden are just cute. They are not dinky little things. I'm a grandmother. In the 1950s I had cute little ruffled tops that bared the midriff. I do think the child in question should wear both pieces of the swimsuit. My GD, age 2, has an adorable two piece suit, hot pink w big ruffles.

wompoopigeon · 15/08/2011 23:41

I was told that my DD must cover her top when paddling in a paddling pool in a public place. A security guard specifically came over and asked me to put her in a T-shirt, so she wasn't just in her (very robust red towelling as it happens) pants.
She was two at the time.
We haven't been back.

ChippingIn · 15/08/2011 23:51

OP - I can see why they're covering their arses by asking your DD to wear her top half. I think it's as many others have said - where do you draw the line. My friends DD is 7 and she's overweight, it makes her look like she has boobs and so wouldn't really be appropriate for her not to wear a top half - even though if she was a boy she'd probably look the same - they are really moobs, not boobs - but they have to have a blanket policy really don't they :(

Right can any of you anti bikini wearing weirdos people please explain WHY a full swimsuit is any more acceptable than a 2 piece?

RockStockAndTwoOpenBottles · 15/08/2011 23:54

I live in Spain and one would struggle to find a Spanish girl under the age of 10 in anything BUT bikini bums. In fact in pretty much every clothes shop that's all they sell for beach/pool wear. The ONLY children one can guarantee to see in costumes are the British kids, and as mentioned upthread the Spanish/French/Italian/any other European children definitely raise an eyebrow or two.

I find it so bizarre to read all the 'Oh my God, it's shocking to see a little girl in a pair of bikini bums' comments on here. They're little girls FFS. My one certainly runs around in her bikini bus only (she's 2½), but my older DDs also did until they reached 10 or 11.

Wompoo I am absolutely astounded at that. Mutter mutter indeed!

LadyBeagleEyes · 15/08/2011 23:58

yes Rockstock, as I said above, it seems to be a particularly British thing to cover up litttle girls chests.
Have you any idea why that is, because i haven't a clue?

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