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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder how I have managed to get to 39 without ever coming across 'fat prejudice'...

165 replies

joric · 02/08/2011 08:50

....until I found Mumsnet???
I have always been fat and can honestly say I had no idea that people thought so badly of people who are overweight.
AIBU to think that not everyone thinks we're disgusting, smelly freaks ( based on my positive experiences with friends and strangers over the years)?

OP posts:
Mitmoo · 02/08/2011 08:52

Most people can see the person not the weight, if they can't they're no loss really.

mumblechum1 · 02/08/2011 08:52

Really? I think MN is, if anything, very tolerant of all sorts of differences and very anti-prejudice.

Who says fat people are disgusting and smelly?

GwendolineMaryLacey · 02/08/2011 08:52

Same here. Apart from my mother, I've managed to have friends, hold down jobs, get married, have children etc. Listen to people on here and you'd think we were the scum of the earth.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 02/08/2011 08:54

mumble, you must be joking. Search for some of the threads. MNetters save all their vitriol up for the weight threads, all the things they can't say to any other group come tumbling out. Oh, except if you're fat and Catholic, then you really are scum.

biddysmama · 02/08/2011 08:55

my grandads the only person whos ever said anything about my weight... apart from some loser guy who called me a fat cow in town once for no reason.. i was at that lovely looking fat not pregnant stage of pregnancy ..

faverolles · 02/08/2011 08:59

I was bullied at school for being fat, and into adulthood have had comments etc.
I think you are lucky to have not come across it before, but I suppose even nasty bullies post on the Internet, and the anonymity can make them more outspoken and vicious.

Original poster
joric · 02/08/2011 09:01

Oh bloody hell Gwendoline !!! and (brought up) Catholic?!!!.... That's me stuffed then!!!
Seriously though, ditto to everything you just said!

OP posts:
VeronicaCake · 02/08/2011 09:01

Its because some people behave like knobs on the internet. They wouldn't say nasty things to your face (and perhaps wouldn't even think them because there is a big difference between the person in front of you and the invisible person online who is easy to sneer at and belittle).

It isn't just Mumsnet and it isn't just weight though. The thread at the bottom of this page concerns teeny tiny baby hedgehogs having a bath and one idiot still manages to get so worked up about the subject he suggests that another poster should 'GO GET FUCKED YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT, YOU SHOULD NOT BE ALOUD TO BREATHE!!!!CUZ IT WOUlD BE A WASTE OF GOOD OXYGEN BITCH!!!!!'

Stay out of any threads with the words obesity, weight, diet or hedgehog in the title.

Wallissimpson · 02/08/2011 09:02

I think for some people it's difficult to understand why people are or stay fat ( medical issues aside) . I do wonder at the health implications and the limitingness ( crap word!) of being overweight in terms of sports, fitness etc.

But prejudice, that's never acceptable about anyone.

TimeWasting · 02/08/2011 09:03

People say things on here they wouldn't say to your face, it's anonymous.

And how fat are you? That makes a big difference.

spookshowangel · 02/08/2011 09:07

no i am the same, on here women are very much that over weight people are wearing sacks (which is true if you walk in to evans or a long tall sally), dont have bfs and deservedly are shunned by society. i never had this in rl but hey this isnt rl so i forbear.

Original poster
joric · 02/08/2011 09:12

I agree Timewasting and Veronica!..
I am guilty of thinking things about others but ' fat issues' seem to get everyone's blood boiling!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
joric · 02/08/2011 09:15

Timewasting - how fat is a good point- I am v fat- morbidly on charts! A little roll of tubbiness some people try to pass off as fat are not included!!

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spookshowangel · 02/08/2011 09:20

yes wallis because all not over weight people are excessively sporty, again with the belief that being over weight makes you not sporty or less sporty and you would be right but i have many friends that are just as incapable of running a few laps because they are unfit and are not over weight i assume they are equally limiting their lives by not running marathons and perfering a martini.

Andrewofgg · 02/08/2011 09:20

Children are what they are and will always be cruel to the One Who Is Different. I had a primary school friend known to us all as Fatty - as it happens he was a lovely chap and everyone liked him - and I don't feel embarrassed about it. But I can honestly say that in adult life the only issue I have with obese people is on public transport - for obvious and genuine reasons.

TimeWasting · 02/08/2011 09:24

I'm surprised then that you haven't noticed it. Maybe not directed at you personally, but people use fat as an insult for instance.

TimeWasting · 02/08/2011 09:26

Andrew, some people taking up more space bothers you enough for it be an issue?

NevermindtheNargles · 02/08/2011 09:28

I'm fat and i don't even have a medical condition

I shouldn't be allowed.

Original poster
joric · 02/08/2011 09:29

Andrew!!! ... because they smell and take up all the room?? LMHO!!!
Exactly what I'm talking about!
I am so naive and I don't get it ... I get people chatting away to me all of the time and I am BIG!!!!

OP posts:
TimeWasting · 02/08/2011 09:31

Ah, joric, are you jolly? Grin If you match people's expectations then you might not notice the prejudice implicit in the way they are treating you.

NevermindtheNargles · 02/08/2011 09:32

At least I don't use public transport though. Imagine if all the cyclists/joggers who worked up a nice healthy sweat getting to the train station had to be all squashed up by my disgusting fat bits.

NevermindtheNargles · 02/08/2011 09:32

At least I don't use public transport though. Imagine if all the cyclists/joggers who worked up a nice healthy sweat getting to the train station had to be all squashed up by my disgusting fat bits.

Original poster
joric · 02/08/2011 09:36

Timewasting, I've heard it as an insult of course but maybe I'm just blinkered... Having said that......I have just remembered my only ever random insult from a lad I knew at college who called me a fat cow in a pub..... He got a pint of lager and black spilled all over him and had to go home if I remember correctly.......

OP posts:
Original poster
joric · 02/08/2011 09:38

Timewasting!! LMHO ... Yes, I am jolly !!!!!! Fat and jolly!!! :o

OP posts:
ScrambledSmegs · 02/08/2011 09:38

My mum is a fattist Angry. When I had difficulty losing the baby weight it was directed at me. It is horribly demoralising to have your own mum suggesting that you are fat and revolting (linked in her mind, not mine). Admittedly she has body issues and is the size of a sparrow, but it's hard to remind yourself of that when the words coming out of her mouth are so hurtful. She thought she was being kind.

Oh, and I went up to a size 12/14.

I have tried, over time, to explain why people are all shapes and sizes, but she doesn't get it. She is tiny therefore there is no excuse Hmm.