To wonder how I have managed to get to 39 without ever coming across 'fat prejudice'...

[joric]

....until I found Mumsnet???
I have always been fat and can honestly say I had no idea that people thought so badly of people who are overweight.
AIBU to think that not everyone thinks we're disgusting, smelly freaks ( based on my positive experiences with friends and strangers over the years)?

Wallis I am called , " Skinny cow, skinny bitch, no wonder you're cold you're so thin, stick legs " etc etc. I have never in my life called anyone a fat anything.

Would I be right in thinking that it would be ok therefore for me to question why you are so thin and suggest ways for you to be less thin? For me to say that I am worried for your health because of your very thin appearance? ( as you have done about overweight people throughout the thread)?
No it wouldn't be ok, because I don't know you or your circumstances.

Wallis- it isn't back and White that's all.

There's a very interesting chapter in Caitlin Moran's book about being fat. How over-eating is the addiction of carers - because if you've got people to look after you can't go and get wasted can you but you can eat a lot of comforting food.

I do feel sorry for very overweight people because I do wonder if they're happy - probably my own prejudice but I know I don't feel happy in myself if I'm over the weight I want to be. But I also know that losing weight and then keeping it off is very hard and you have to be in the right head space to do it and have supportive/non-judegemental people around you too.

One last thing: when I was very slim in my early 20s, I used to see a well-regarded back doctor as my lower back was constantly in pain. My left leg is longer than my right leg and it used to put my hips and lower back out out, with sciatica-type shooting pains, a la an old lady. Doc said part of the problem was that I was too thin and my joints weren't properly protected.

Guess what? I put o weight and I haven't had any back pain in years, not even during pregnancy. See what happened there? You don't have to thank me for gaining weight NHS, I know how grateful you are.

....And also, it was bloody uncomfortable sitting for any length of time unless I had a cushion under my arse. And I had to have a pillow between my legs as I sleep on my side and my knees jangling together was really uncomfortable.

wallissimpson, i don't think you are depressed when you see all of us fatties bumbling around town and visitor attractions. i think you are pleased that you have managed to breed a superior type of human to the rest of us.

Not really seen any fattist comments but a friend is french and says its rife and socially acceptable to remark on someones weight.

Creighton- not sure about people on here but there is truth in what you say, In some cases I would agree that a certain type of person does take pleasure in other's misfortune feels better about themselves if they don't find the other person a threat.

Would I be right in thinking that it would be ok therefore for me to question why you are so thin and suggest ways for you to be less thin? For me to say that I am worried for your health because of your very thin appearance?

But people do ask why you are so thin, tell you that you look ill, you should eat more pies etc. I have no doubt that in being overweight you experience fat prejudice, but you experience it if you are slim too. You get people saying you aren't sexy, men prefer curves/real women. And its always women. As if the only way we can feel good about ourselves is make someone else feel like shit.

I am obese, I am married to a guy who still fancies me, I can powerwalk 5km in under an hour, can do Body Pump classes with ease and I even have friends. I am not jolly though.

lisielou- yes, people do- some people think they can comment on anything and everything to complete strangers but why? .. Babies with birthmarks, people with disabilities, fat people, thin people.
What you quoted was in reply to another poster's ( seemingly ) unsympathetic view of overweight people. I asked if she thought it was ok for me to advise her on her lifestyle and answered my own question by saying No it wouldn't be ok, because I don't know you or your circumstances.
:)

I have been a size 8 and a size 22.

people treated me very differently when I was a size 8. when I was a 22 I felt at best invisible.

Howtolookgood... You have someone who fancies you, and friends And you're FAT???
No way!!!
:o :) :o :) :o

Joric

I agree- I totally commended the dad for having his daughter in the pool having swim lessons.He was also overweight but he was clearly trying to help her-another dad was playing baseball with his somewhat pudgey daughter- again I thought how brilliant it was to be acting on it.

I don't know why a lot of people do seem to be repulsed by fat people and I think it is mean spirited but I also have some sort of reaction when I see an overweight child and it is some sort of judgement of the parents, that they are allowing this to happen but I try to curb it with adults as I do think it is very complex and I think many overweight people must really struggle with this issue as food is a necessity of life.Like I said this documentary made me feel such compassion for this guy- which every one is worthy of really.

But yes people are generally fattist and sneering and I doubt that will ever change.

Ditto Howtolookgood... I eat better and do more exercise than most of the thin people I know!

Went to Zumba last week for the first time and I kept up better than most of the thin people there who have been going for months!

actually i think people do comment on your weight if you are thin. i had a stomach problem and dropped to 8 stone (i am 5 foot7 and generally a healthy weight). loads of people felt they had a right to talk to me about it and comment.

(people said really insensitive things - you are lucky! f off i am 8 stone and dropping every week. i looked like a teenage boy. this is not lucky!)

I think fat prejudice is very common in RL too even against people whose BMI falls into the upper end of the so-called "normal" category (which is rubbish anyway). Like when someone gets married and her colleagues ask her how the diet's going even if she hasn't expressed out loud a desire to lose weight.

If people notice a sudden weight fluctuation up or down they might comment out of concern, but I don't think thin prejudice is as common (although, of course, it does exist). I would also say that in general oldies are more inclined to regard a bit of meat on the bones as a good thing and svelteness as less desirable. Unfortunately my parents and grandparents are / were all weight obsessed, even my DH says they seem to regard it as the most important thing above other achievements and thinks they are a bit weird!