DS wants to sleep with his girlfriend

[Fairenuff]

DS is 12 and has had the same girlfriend for 3 years (also 12yo). They were friends before they became 'an item'.

The thing is, they have always had sleepovers at each others houses, where they share a room. Last time they slept here was about 3 months ago. She had a separate bed in his room, as usual, but when I checked on them, they were in the same bed with their arms around each other.

I have spoken to DS about it and told him they can't share a bed, but now I'm thinking that actually, they should not have sleepovers because I can't 'police' them all night.

I know they are very young, they have both said they're not going to 'do anything' but they do kiss on the lips and say they love each other. DS's girlfriend has told me that he 'dared' her to 'snog' him

AIBU to say 'no' to sleepovers?

Christ,lets get off the moral majority bandwagon!!This isn't Jeremy Kyle!!Mistakes happen,children get older,now u know.Separate rooms...

They led with your first two paragraphs, very slightly rephrased but with all the detail to a tee, then asked the panel and audience what they thought. People were generally a bit more chilled than we've been and only 31% of the entire nation (apparently) wouldn't allow their pre-teen to have mixed sleep overs.

I'm going to be so careful what my threads are about from now on...

germintrude - yes, but it is The Wright Stuff !

Thanks Thruaglass I didn't see it but you say only 31% would not allow it? I am surprised really but you never really know until you're in that position I suppose.

Oh, and for the record, no I am not in any way connected to the (Jeremy?) Wright Show and don't even watch it but am not suprised they look on MN for inspiration. I'm not bothered about anonymity on this subject (apart from protecting my son's identity of course) because I think, just judging from the responses on here, it is something that parents need to be aware of to help our very young pre-teens.

I don't know all the facts but in many cultures in the past girls have been married at this age. In western cultures they have been seen very much as still children.

What is clear is that they are generally entering puberty earlier and earlier, possibly down to a better diet. Apparantly girls without a father (figure) begin puberty earlier in order to attract a mate (for protection).

If given the choice, we would prefer to keep our pre-teens as children. However, sex is everywhere we look, on tv, in the news, the clothes we wear, music, etc. Sex is used to sell everything from cars to washing powder. Children see it all around them all the time. Peer pressure helps to keep the promotion going.

Thankfully, sex education is taught in schools but I believe that a lot more can be done by parents at home, talking to their children, dispelling myths and giving them the tools to deal with difficult situations if/when they arise.

So, if it prompts a discussion, makes a parent think, hang on I need to talk to my kids, then good.

Sorry for the long post, if anyone actually made it to the end I would just like to thank all those people who took the time to share their experiences, thoughts and/or concerns with me. It's been very helpful.