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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel so resentful when my DP travels with work?

258 replies

Tuppenyrice · 24/07/2011 10:56

He's a musician so he tours. I'm a SAHM who does occasional writing work. We have 3DCs (7 & under) so life is busy.
He's away now and we are rowing a the time because I feel so tired. I don't sleep well so I feel crap in the daytime and find parenting very difficult when this tired. I know it's my job to parent and run the house but if I let off steam surely he could just let it wash over him or tell me what a fab job I'm doing? Or AIBU?
Be gentle.....

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ImperialBlether · 04/08/2011 13:31

I'll inspire you, Hardgoing! I don't tend to go on there as it's a bit slowgoing, I'm meant to be writing but am MUCH better at inspiring. What's your problem, hmmm?

katkitya · 04/08/2011 17:28

My friend is a posh travel agent. She's as common as muck but she specializes to really fab holidays. She told me the other day that there are lots of great bargains out there. Oh, I love holidays!!

Hardgoing · 04/08/2011 17:59

Oh bless, you but I don't want to derail this thread, which has been brilliant (I was on it earlier under a different name). I'm writing all summer and completely fed up and have visions of the publisher getting the draft and pulling a face or even worse laughing with all her publisher friends at how crap it is (yes, ok, not very realistic).

Hardgoing · 04/08/2011 18:00

Perhaps I should go on a holiday instead!

Original poster
Tuppenyrice · 05/08/2011 12:05

Omg my Internet was down until now- stress!!
Ok where are these holiday bargains?! cheapest quote I've had is for mark warner with kids club for 7 year old & 3 days of half day club for the 3 year old included 3200 - I think that's pretty reasonable. Portugal.
Now looking at alternative- Cornwall family hotel, so loads to do for kids, easy journey for us, 1470 fir the week DB&B

what would you do?
Have to say I love idea of sunshine but I hate flying.
If we do UK I'm promised a fancy break later on by myself.

I am crap at decisions.

Also just had the half hour assessment chat and will start CBT in late sept.

Re: hijacking thread. Don't be silly, this is the best thread ever! Grin

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dreamingbohemian · 05/08/2011 12:45

Oh gosh that's a tough one!

I'd be tempted to go for Cornwall, if it meant you got your own break later. If you hate flying that's a bad way to start and end your trip, and you only have a week!

The weather seems a bit crazy right now, you could have sun in Cornwall and rain in Portugal.

Maybe save the sunshine trip for your own break, maybe in the winter when you really need some?

(fyi I went to Madeira once in January, cheap on easyjet, it was soooo warm and sunny! and very relaxing)

ImperialBlether · 05/08/2011 13:21

OK, not Cornwall, not at the moment. Here's the forecast for the next ten days.

ImperialBlether · 05/08/2011 13:28

Have a look at this. It looks lovely and it has a restaurant within monitor distance and babysitting, too! It seems to be free when you want it.

Original poster
Tuppenyrice · 05/08/2011 13:44

It's the 20th we go

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ImperialBlether · 05/08/2011 13:47

Chateau Ribagnac seems to be free Sunday 21st to Wednesday 31st for 1,400 Euros, if you're interested in that.

ImperialBlether · 05/08/2011 13:47

I feel like I've had more of a holiday if I've been abroad, compared to going somewhere in the UK.

Original poster
Tuppenyrice · 05/08/2011 14:16

That looks gorgeous If we are going to drive that far it'd be hard work with 3 and getting flights independently so late has proved impossible.
I love the whole eurocamp vibe but going to do that another year when I'm less "exhausted".
Perhaps I should consider The Priory Wink

The Sands in Cornwall looks naff but thaw rave reviews on Trip Advisor and ticks loads of our cliches....

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dreamingbohemian · 05/08/2011 14:19

Me too Imperial Smile

But then I don't mind flying! It would be great if you could manage something you can drive to in France.

dreamingbohemian · 05/08/2011 14:20

x post

You can't always trust Trip Advisor! If your gut instinct says 'naff' do a bit more digging Smile

ImperialBlether · 05/08/2011 14:25

I think it's about 400 miles, isn't it? Why don't you phone or email the British owners and ask what they do when they come back to the UK?

Don't start to get negative, now! We are trying to find you a lovely holiday! If you go to France the food and weather will be better, won't it?

Original poster
Tuppenyrice · 05/08/2011 14:35

Sorry not being negative at all just trying to narrow down search so not too overwhelmed.
Want more than baby friendly want actual clubs that at least the eldest can do. See what I mean? Appeal of mark warner & Sands is the stuff for kids thus parents get break. Driving to France fine as long as not too far but then can't get the heat....
By naff I meant furnishing but I could live with it if DP takes the kids off exploring the stuff on offer while I go to the spa.... Think I'm downgrading my holiday a bit but also thinking of easiest journey with the little ones of my tribe.
The Cornwall Reservation looks good but pricey for s\c no kids stuff.

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 05/08/2011 14:37

I don't think you want self catering, do you? It will just be work for you.

Original poster
Tuppenyrice · 05/08/2011 14:38

katkitya where's your mate when we need her?!

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Original poster
Tuppenyrice · 05/08/2011 14:38

No you're right that's a pain. The Sands is DB&B tho...

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ImperialBlether · 05/08/2011 14:43

OK I have looked through the Sands website and think that would be a good option, as long as the weather is fine. You'd have your meals separately (always a good thing!), a baby monitoring system, a children's club, pre-dinner entertainment, etc.

I am worried that you will leave things too late and won't get a holiday at all. What does your husband think of Cornwall? You could have some lovely days out there.

Original poster
Tuppenyrice · 05/08/2011 14:46

He says it's up to me but truth is he'd prefer Cornwall. Not as expensive as Portugal, not as hot, more for him to do with the kids which is what he'd like - to spend time with them when he's not stressed.

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ImperialBlether · 05/08/2011 14:52

Ok, get your card out and book it! There's no point looking at other sites which don't have spaces or which are in places that you can't get to easily.

Do the children have a DVD player for the car? The two older ones could have a headphone each and watch a film when the little one sleeps.

Start to think now about the journey. Lists are your friend. Think about what time of day to travel. Buy some clothes (if you need to) online. Make a list of DVDs, books, colouring books, pens etc to take to keep them happy whilst they're there.

Once the lists are written, give your husband and children some responsibilities for collecting everything on that list. Don't do it all yourself!

ImperialBlether · 05/08/2011 14:54

Oh and pack yourself a notebook and pen. You can start to jot down ideas for what you want to write, when your husband is out gallivanting with your children!

Off to do some writing myself. I am the biggest procrastinator in the world. Will be back on later.

Original poster
Tuppenyrice · 05/08/2011 15:00

I cannot believe you wrote a novel in the evenings Wink

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Original poster
Tuppenyrice · 05/08/2011 15:30

I would just like to add that while I have been on here chatting my 3 year old daughter has painted her face, arms and legs bright red stating "I'm a zebra."

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