Tuppenyrice are you me?
My DH is a musician and tours twice a year. More, in fact when something's been released. He works every weekend, often leaving on a Thursday or Friday and not back til Sunday or Monday night. All I want to do when he gets back is go out and eat fancy. All he wants to do is to stay in and eat salad and muesli.
I'm exhausted. He's going away again tomorrow (festival season, busy busy) and we face another weekend alone. I feel guilty about crashing friends' weekends as it's their 'family' time and would rather eat my own ears than spend another weekend with the ILs.
It's the momentum thing that gets me with that profession and many others that are self employed. The more work you get, the more you get. The more you refuse, the less comes your way. Also, the work is so irregular. It's a surefire way to create a workaholic. I'm glad he's successful. And to many who don't live it, it looks so glamorous and interesting but it's hard work for the ones left behind as we live our lives at the opposite end of society's established timetables. When everyone else plays, we work.
There are some perks. Festivals for free. If there's a gig I want to go to, I get to go, babysitter permitting!
I can totally empathise with your situation. I had a sort of breakdown in March after a long stint of his in the States and finished up with some bad ass chickens coming home to roost. It was a bit of a wake up call for him and now he takes off every Tuesday and early Weds morning (while not on tour) while I go for the CBT. It's getting better. Slowly.
Keep me posted eh? And good luck. I've been there. And I'm thinking of you. 